Early marriages in Uzbekistan

[trigger-happy]

http://www.uzland.uz/2003/march/08/02.htm

A very sad article about so-called early marriages (15-18 years) in Uzbekistan. I would like to hear opinions about this phenomenon, especially from men who married very young girls, or women who got married before reaching legal age. What was it like, reasons for such marriage, etc. Article did a pretty good job of describing all this, but I'd like to find out about actual cases of early marriage.

[noodles]

sorry, am out.:)

[MUHLIS]

That is not good! But as far as I know this is changing, and many parents and young people understand the risks of early (teen) marriage. But is good to bring this isue up.

[Mr Potatokiller]

early marrige is common among countries experiencing poor living standards. Early marrige has to have something related or associated with the households economics, but I would not know what. :? Maybe women in poor countries are of no profitable use for the family where she was raisedm so the family tries to get rid of her, in turn, the girls family usually receives some sort of good(ex 20 cows, cash etc in Africa).

[MUHLIS]

early marrige is common among countries experiencing poor living standards. Early marrige has to have something related or associated with the households economics, but I would not know what. :? Maybe women in poor countries are of no profitable use for the family where she was raisedm so the family tries to get rid of her, in turn, the girls family usually receives some sort of good(ex 20 cows, cash etc in Africa).
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE ALREADY SAID THAT EARLY MARRIAGE IS NOT GOOD. I WOULD RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE WITH THE OPINION EXPRESSED ABOVE. I KNOW FROM MY PERSONAL OVSERVATION THE MOST PARENTS WHO WANT TO MARRY THEIR CHILDREN IN THEIR EARLY TEENS ARE RELATIVELY RICH PEOPLE (IN UZBEKISTAN)......SO NO NEED TRYING DESCRIBE THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM FROM POVERTY......IN MY VISION THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM IS WHIDESPREAD IDEA AMONG PARENTS ABOUT HAVING GRANDCHILDREN EARLIER, TO SHOW THE PUBLIC ACHIEVMENTS OF THEIR FAMILY (WEDDINGS ARE ALWAYS CONSIDERED AS ONE OF THE BIG ACHIEVEMENTS FOR THE PARENTS, AND ALL PARENTS AIM TO MARRY ALL OF THEIR CHILDREN WHILE THAY ARE ALIVE AND ASSUME THIS AS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY), ATTRACT PUBLIC ATTENTION AND SOMETIMES SOME (NOT ALL) PARENTS MARRY THEIR SON/DAUGHTER TO THE SON/DAUGHTER OF THE PREFERRED FAMILY, AND IN SOME CASES, BY DOING THIS THEY HAVE CARIER AND OTHER PERSONAL OBJECTIVES....AND THEY SIMPLY "SACRIFISE" THEIR CHILDRENS' PERSONAL LIFE FOR THESE OBJECTIVES..... WHICH IS VERY SAD.....

[trigger-happy]

I tend to agree with MUHLIS's explanation. 2 friends of mine got married at 17. Both were from rich families, who could afford education and living expenses for their only daughters. It just seemed that whatever interests were in play outweighed all concerns that they as parents had for their young daughters. Also, they could be afraid that even with all their money, noone would marry their daughters if they got "too old" - like 18 or 19.

I remember I was 20 when I got married, and my father kept asking me, "Don't you want to wait? You are so young." He has his own set of rules, where happiness matters more than money.

[Mr Potatokiller]

OKAY, I agree with MUHLIS upon his opinion. But, I still believe that the majority of early marriges are due to economic constraints of poorer families. Talking about the rich however, I believe that the they are one segemented section. And as the MUHLIS has expressed it briefly, it does have to do with the image of the higher income familes. But then, how would you explain such a strong association of early marrigies among poor countries, whereas, in richer countries (ex USA, EU region) the average age at which one gets marries is around 30-35. I recently found out from my friend who lives in Africa, that in Africa, the girls family usually receives something of a great value. My friends father's family presented 25 cows! so that he could get married.

[noodles]

Early marriage is sometimes result of illegal sexual relationship between male and female esp. who loves each other, and in order not to get ashamed before their neighbours or relatives their parents persuade them to marry each other not concerning their ages. (esp. it's well-done bye the side of a female, s they may treat seriously to try to put him in prison or sthg).

Mr Potatokiller,

Do you think an Uzbek girl could fetch a price of 25 cows? I see a solution to the poverty crisis in rural Uzb! Marry off all the girls to Africans, bring the cows back to Uzb and have all the milk, meat and leather we want.

[MUHLIS]

OKAY, I agree with MUHLIS upon his opinion. But, I still believe that the majority of early marriges are due to economic constraints of poorer families. Talking about the rich however, I believe that the they are one segemented section. And as the MUHLIS has expressed it briefly, it does have to do with the image of the higher income familes. But then, how would you explain such a strong association of early marrigies among poor countries, whereas, in richer countries (ex USA, EU region) the average age at which one gets marries is around 30-35. I recently found out from my friend who lives in Africa, that in Africa, the girls family usually receives something of a great value. My friends father's family presented 25 cows! so that he could get married.
WELL, GOOD QUESTION. AS AVAZ HAS ALREADY PUT HIS AHND ON THE ANSWER, I WILL TRY ADD SOMETHING TO IT. DO NOT TRY TO GENERALIZE POOR COUNTRY OR RICH COUNTRY AND APPLY THIS ISSUE INTO THOSE TWO DIFFERENTLY....I AM SURE ABOUT OTHER COUNTRIES, BUT AS I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS ISSUE IN UZBEKISTAN IS PROBABLY DUE TO SOCIO-CULTURAL VALUES AND BELIEFS.....AND ONE COMPONENT OF THESE VALUES AND BELIEFS IS THAT, ONCE CHILDREN REACH ADULT (PHYSICAL) AGES, THEY HAVE TO BE MARRIED IN OREDER TO PREVENT POSSIBLE PRE-MARRIAGE SEXUAL CONTACTS.........NOW, TRYING TO LOOK ON THOSE SOCIETIES WHERE AVERAGE MARRIAGE AGE IS ABOVE 25...tHEY HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH HAVING SEXUAL CONTACTS BEFORE MARRIGAE.....THAY CAN HAVE CHILDREN BEFORE MARRIAGE......WELL, THIS NOT THE ISUE RIGHT NOW..BUT THIS IS FACT...
IN ADDITION, I STILL BELIVE THAT TEEN MARRIAGE IS NOT GOOD, ESPECIALLY TODAY AND ESPECIALLY FOR THE FAMILIES IN NEED....I PERSONALLY, WILL NOT TAKE THIS RISK UNTILL I WILL NOT FEEL FINANCIALLY COMFORTABLE...AS, FOR SOCIO-CULTURAL VALUES, TODAY WE HAVE MODERN SOCIETY WHERE WE HAVE LAWS AND REGULATIONS TO PROTECT EVERY CITIZEN FROM ANY KIND OF VIOLATIONS....ALSO, WE HAVE CIVILIZED SOCIETY WHERE MORAL VALUES ARE PUT MUCH HIGHER THAN PHYSICAL DESIRES.....
TAKE CARE,

[Yozuvchi]

[QUOTE]"I KNOW FROM MY PERSONAL OVSERVATION THE MOST PARENTS WHO WANT TO MARRY THEIR CHILDREN IN THEIR EARLY TEENS ARE RELATIVELY RICH PEOPLE (IN UZBEKISTAN)......SO NO NEED TRYING DESCRIBE THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM FROM POVERTY......IN MY VISION THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM IS WHIDESPREAD IDEA AMONG PARENTS ABOUT HAVING GRANDCHILDREN EARLIER, TO SHOW THE PUBLIC ACHIEVMENTS OF THEIR FAMILY (WEDDINGS ARE ALWAYS CONSIDERED AS ONE OF THE BIG ACHIEVEMENTS FOR THE PARENTS, AND ALL PARENTS AIM TO MARRY ALL OF THEIR CHILDREN WHILE THAY ARE ALIVE AND ASSUME THIS AS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY), ATTRACT PUBLIC ATTENTION AND SOMETIMES SOME (NOT ALL) PARENTS MARRY THEIR SON/DAUGHTER TO THE SON/DAUGHTER OF THE PREFERRED FAMILY, AND IN SOME CASES, BY DOING THIS THEY HAVE CARIER AND OTHER PERSONAL OBJECTIVES....AND THEY SIMPLY "SACRIFISE" THEIR CHILDRENS' PERSONAL LIFE FOR THESE OBJECTIVES..... WHICH IS VERY SAD..... "

Muhlis:

I respect your opinion, but I do not agree to what you said.
Let's focus our attention on rich people as you are talking about rich people in this part. In my opinion, "WHIDESPREAD IDEA AMONG PARENTS ABOUT HAVING GRANDCHILDREN EARLIER, TO SHOW THE PUBLIC ACHIEVMENTS OF THEIR FAMILY" is just a hidden scene. I know some really rich people, and their children got married at the early age. And I know the purpose was not to show off family achievements. The issue was those guys or girls were simply out of attention and were playing around. This is very dangerous issue, especially for rich people. Let say, you are a rich person and you have a daughter: DO YOU LIKE, IF EVERYDAY ANOTHER GUY IS CALLING AND CHATTING WITH YOUR DAUGHTER ON THE PHONE, OR DO YOU LIKE IF YOUR DAUGHTER IS DATING ANOTHER DIFFERENT GUY EVERYDAY? So, parents try to marry those kind of daughters as soon as possible. Am I right, Muhlis (i will wait for your comment on this)? The same thing can be said about those 18-19 year-old guys. When they are out of attention, they start to show off, and every 100$ spent is not enough for them, because they have many "friends". Something like marriage can stop them, this is what parents think, not my opinion. So, marriage is organized, and the family is proud in the public.

For poor people, this can also be an issue, but poverty plays great role.

[Niso]

Na etu temu uje tak mnogo govorilos' i do sih por govoritsya!
Nu ne ponimayut lyudi, chto probeli v vospitanii sobstvennih detey NEVOZMOJNO reshit' putyom vidachi zamuj/jenit'bi - eto k vashim kommentariyam, o bogatih semyah.
Teper', chto kasaetsya bednoy i ne ochen' chasti naseleniya: da v Uzbekistane ochen' bol'shoe davlenie na devushek i deystvitel'no u mnogih nachinaetsya panika (navyazannaya okrujeniem), chto oni ne smogut viiydti zamuj i im ne dostanetsya tak nazivaemogo "semeynogo schastya"!
Mne viditsya na segodnyashniy den' edinstvenniy vihod dlya etih devushek: soprotivlyatsya etomu davleniyu kak hvatit sil. Stavit' v pervuyu ochered' svoi interesi: uchoba, nevajno v shkole, v krujke vyazaniya, vishivaniya, v uchilishe, esli povezyot v institute. OBRAZOVANIE I SAMOOBRAZOVANIE - tol'ko tak mojno priydti k chuvstvu sobstvennoy znachimosti.
Esli eti devushki ne nauchatsya soprotivlyatsya, otstaivat' svoi interesi, borotsya za svoyu sud'bu, to skajite mne, kto eto sdelaet za nih?!!
NIKTO!!!
Tol'ko sam chelovek v sostoyanii zashitit' sebya, esli on tverdo znaet chego hochet.
I ne govorite, chto vokrug etih devushek, odna t'ma i net obraztsov dlya podrajaniya - mi ne v kamennom veke.
Ya znayu mnogo devushek, kotorie predpochli poran'she viydti zamiuj, potomuchto mnogie ne hoteli uchitsya prosto iz-za leni.
Ved' tak zamanchivo: sidish sebe doma, a muj tebe deneg prinesyot na platye i na kosmetiku. Vsyobi horosho, da za vsyo nado platit' i inogda tsenoy sobstvennoy znachimosti.
Udachi!

[Delta]

when I look at our stuff(urf odat/ toy tomosha/ qarindosh urug'/ style of life/ using muscles more but less brain method of work/mahala ikr chikirlari/ erke ayol ortasidigi munosabat / .../ etc.) that has been created over the hundreds of years... it makes me puuke!

as Einstein said : I'm not sure how limitless universe is, but human stupidity has no limit.

[Yozuvchi]

Esli eti devushki ne nauchatsya soprotivlyatsya, otstaivat' svoi interesi, borotsya za svoyu sud'bu, to skajite mne, kto eto sdelaet za nih?!!
NIKTO!!!


NISO:

WHICH AGE RANGE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IF IT IS 16-17 I AGREE WITH YOU. IF IT IS 18-19 I DO NOT. BECAUSE AS ALL WE KNOW MEN ARE MORE THAN WOMEN. THERE IS A THREAT FOR GIRLS AFTER THE AGE OF 20, THAT THEY MAY BECOME OUT OF DEMAND (SORRY FOR RUDE EXPRESSION). THIS IS BECAUSE UZBEK GUYS MOSTLY MARRY TO GIRLS WHOSE AGE RANGE IS 18-20, THIS IS MY OBSERVATION. THIS PUTS PARENTS INTO THE DEPRESSING SITUATION, AND THEY TRY TO MARRY THEIR DAUGHTER UNTIL THE AGE OF 20.
IF A GIRL TRIES TO GO AGAINST THE WISH OF HER PARENTS, SHE WILL EVENTUALLY UNDERSTAND THAT HER DECISION WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. SHE MAY END UP MARRYING TO THE PERSON WHO IS NOT VERY INTERESTING TO HER, OR WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN MARRIED ONCE.

I DO NOT SEE MY SOLUTION TO LATER MARRIAGE AT THIS POINT.

[Niso]

NISO:

WHICH AGE RANGE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IF IT IS 16-17 I AGREE WITH YOU. IF IT IS 18-19 I DO NOT. BECAUSE AS ALL WE KNOW MEN ARE MORE THAN WOMEN. THERE IS A THREAT FOR GIRLS AFTER THE AGE OF 20, THAT THEY MAY BECOME OUT OF DEMAND (SORRY FOR RUDE EXPRESSION). THIS IS BECAUSE UZBEK GUYS MOSTLY MARRY TO GIRLS WHOSE AGE RANGE IS 18-20, THIS IS MY OBSERVATION. THIS PUTS PARENTS INTO THE DEPRESSING SITUATION, AND THEY TRY TO MARRY THEIR DAUGHTER UNTIL THE AGE OF 20.
IF A GIRL TRIES TO GO AGAINST THE WISH OF HER PARENTS, SHE WILL EVENTUALLY UNDERSTAND THAT HER DECISION WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. SHE MAY END UP MARRYING TO THE PERSON WHO IS NOT VERY INTERESTING TO HER, OR WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN MARRIED ONCE.

I DO NOT SEE MY SOLUTION TO LATER MARRIAGE AT THIS POINT.

Yozuvchi:

Nu i chto poluchaetsya po tvoim slovam: "kto uspel, tot prisel", t.e. "a nu-ka devushki, kto vihvatit jeniha posolidney, pobogache da popristoyney!"
?????????!!!
Vsyo chto ya predlagayu - USPOKOITSYA i ne metatsya v poiskah gipoteticheskogo muja i tem bolee ne nasilovat' svoyu psihiku sindromom boyazni odinochestva.
Ostayus' pri svoyom mnenii o puti resheniya dannoy problemi.
Predloji svoy vihod, esli takovoy imeetsya, esli net, to odni tvoi observations ne menyayut nichego.

[Niso]

BECAUSE AS ALL WE KNOW MEN ARE MORE THAN WOMEN. THERE IS A THREAT FOR GIRLS AFTER THE AGE OF 20, THAT THEY MAY BECOME OUT OF DEMAND (SORRY FOR RUDE EXPRESSION).

well, i guess you ment "there are more women than men", right?

eta statistika sootvetstvuet vozrastnoy kategorii perevalivshey za 40 let. do 30-35 let - everything is fine!
no mojet ti imel vvidu:"chislennost' dostoynih jen'shin namnogo previshaet chislennosti dostoynih mujchin bolee-menee prigodnih k braku" :)
vot s etim yabi tochno soglasilas'!!!:0 :):0))

[Yozuvchi]

Nu i chto poluchaetsya po tvoim slovam: "kto uspel, tot prisel", t.e. "a nu-ka devushki, kto vihvatit jeniha posolidney, pobogache da popristoyney!"
?????????!!!
Vsyo chto ya predlagayu - USPOKOITSYA i ne metatsya v poiskah gipoteticheskogo muja i tem bolee ne nasilovat' svoyu psihiku sindromom boyazni odinochestva.


Niso:

Ti prav, NO tolko kogda bolshinstvo devushek protivostoyat k rannemu zamujestvu, no etogo ne budet. Chto, dumaesh oni vse ustroyut zabastovku? :P
Tak, esli mi reshili chto takogo ne budet, devushki v uzbekistane budut vixodit zamuj do 20 let. (vobshe to ya vstrechal mnogix kotorie vishli posle, no ix mojno shitat isklyucheniem)
Moe predlojenie: nado obuchat docherei v VUZax. Eto odin iz vixodov k prolongirovaniyu zamujnego vozrasta. Ya znayu, mnogie mogut atakovat menya vsyakimi commentariyami za eto, no eto moe mnenie, xotya ochen trudno ponyat kakim obrazom eti veshi svyazani.

[Yozuvchi]

mojet ti imel vvidu:"chislennost' dostoynih jen'shin namnogo previshaet chislennosti dostoynih mujchin bolee-menee prigodnih k braku"
vot s etim yabi tochno soglasilas'!!!:0 :0))


Niso:

Ya i ne znal chto ti devushka :shock:
Sorry za oshibku, da, more women than men, and it is easy for men to choose. No nachet vozrasta, ti tochno eto znaesh chto do 30 vse normalno?
Ya sprashivayu eto potomu, chto znayu mnogix kto jenilsa, i vot kogda vibirali devushek, u nix bil list bumagi s imenami devushek. Vot oni krestiki noliki igrali. Nu eto ladno, prosto primer odin.

Nashet visheupomyanutogo, ne znayu ne znayu... Vopros v tom: kogo ti shitaesh dostoinim? u vsex svoi nedostatki...

[trigger-happy]

Я спрашиваю ето потому, что знаю многиx кто йенилса, и вот когда вибирали девушек, у ниx бил лист бумаги с именами девушек. Вот они крестики нолики играли. Ну ето ладно, просто пример один.
Какой кошмар!
Ну ладно, у меня возникла такая мысль. Ранние браки происxодят ещё и от пренебрежительного отношения к незамужним женщинам в узбекском обществе. Типа, если не замужем, значит гулящая. Поэтому девчонки могут выйти замуж за нелюбимого или просто неподходящего им мужчину просто для того, чтобы приобрести статус замужней женщины. Пока они не увидят примеров успешных, счастливых, незамужних женщин, они ведь будут думать что таких не бывает. Поэтому в Узбекистане нужно, чтобы государство предоставляло незамужним работающим или учащимся женщинам зарплаты наравне с мужскими, своё жильё, профессиональные организации, и т.д. Когда женщина будет реальной экономической и политической силой, тогда у неё будет больше прав и не надо будет самоутверждаться засчёт брака. It's just my opinion and believe me, I know how unrealistic it is. :(

triger happy
v usa devushke nachinayeu zanimatsa seksom v 16 let
i tak esli devushka etim zanimayetsa eto govorit shto ona gotovo zamujestvu

a v 13 ne hotite? v 16 devushka v usa uje beremnnaya hodit

[trigger-happy]

в УСА девушке начинаеу заниматса сексом в 16 лет и так если девушка етим занимаыетса ето говорит што она готово замуйеству
Позвольте не согласиться. Если девушка готова к сексу, это не означает, что она готова к замужеству. Брак включает в себя гораздо большее чем секс, и думать по-другому просто наивно. Бывают девушки, которые физически быстро зреют (я в 13 лет выглядела как взрослая женщина с 4 размером лифчика), но это не означает, что они психологически готовы на нагрузку замужества и материнства.

девушки в США занимаются сексом в 16, потому что в их обществе это не осуждается. Большинство девушек в УЗе не занимаются сексом в 16, потому что у нас другое воспитание. Кстати, вы бы удивились, как много Американок остаются девственницами до свадьбы из-за своей Христианской религии. Я знала одну Американку (современную, красивую блондинку) - до 25 лет себя берегла!

[Yozuvchi]

v usa devushke nachinayeu zanimatsa seksom v 16 let
i tak esli devushka etim zanimayetsa eto govorit shto ona gotovo zamujestvu


Ya podderjivayu trigger-happy, sootvetstvenno ne soglasen s visheukazannim.

U menya vopros: A vi nikogda ne interesovalis, kakie pari razvodyatsa bolshe: te kto jenyatsa do 20, ili te kto jenyatsa posle 20?

[Free]

eskidan bunaka edi hozir eskiga kura ozalgan..
lekin bir bola va kiz hayotda o'z erini topmaguncha oila kurishi hatodir.uzini masuliyatini kutarishga kuchi etmagan birisi 2 odamning masuliyatini kanak kib kutara oladi...

[Vishnya]

Trigger-happy, ya soglasna s toboy polnostyu. No, ne vsyo zavisit ot ekonomicheskoy i politicheskoy sily, no i ot intellekta. Teper posmotrim primer odnoy neobrazovannoy devushki, kotoraya nigde ne rabotayet i nigde ne uchitsa, u kotoroy net nikakogo hobby krome uborki i stirki. Tak vot, yey nichego ne ostayotsa kak viyti zamuzh v 18 let i prodolzhat' svoyo "hobby" v novoy semye. Ya ne osuzhdayu etih devochek, takaya bila zhizn ih mam i takaya zhe zhizn ozhidayet ih docherey. Vozmozhno izmenitsa zhizn' vnuchek, no, somnevayus' chto eto realno....

[trigger-happy]

Но, не всё зависит от экономической и политической силы, но и от интеллекта. Тепер посмотрим пример одной необразованной девушки, которая нигде не работает и нигде не учится, у которой нет никакого хобби кроме уборки и стирки. Так вот, ей ничего не остаётса как выйти замуж в 18 лет и продолжать своё "хобби" в новой семые. Я не осуждаю этих девочек, такая была жизнь их мам и такая же жизнь ожидаыет их дочерей. Возможно изменится жизнь внучек, но, сомневаюсь что это реально....
Вишня, такие девочки есть, но это не всегда от недостатка мозгов или потенциала, а как раз из-за экономических и политических факторов. Ну есть непроходимые тупицы, но таких процентов 5, не более. А есть ещё контингент, которые нормальные девчонки, но просто у них такая цель в жизни - быть только женой и матерью. И таких не более 5%. А остальные 90% - это обыкновенные девчонки, как мы с вами, которым хочется многогранной жизни - карьера, семья, подруги, хобби. И вот скажем одну такую выдают в 16 лет, ну как она может возразить? Ведь её из дома выгонят или опозорят на весь кишлак, так что потом даже если захочет выйти - не сможет.

И ещё я заметила - на Западе мужчины женятся на ровесницах - однокурсницах, сотрудницах, и т.д. А у нас 30-35-летние мужики все хотят жениться на 16-летних девочках, которые ещё в куклы играют. Такое неравенство в возрасте кстати очень показательно в патриархальных строях. Раньше при Советах было равенство полов, и женились на ровесницах у нас тоже.

[Siege]

Vishnya,
Trigger-happy, ya soglasna s toboy polnostyu. No, ne vsyo zavisit ot ekonomicheskoy i politicheskoy sily, no i ot intellekta. Teper posmotrim primer odnoy neobrazovannoy devushki, kotoraya nigde ne rabotayet i nigde ne uchitsa, u kotoroy net nikakogo hobby krome uborki i stirki. Tak vot, yey nichego ne ostayotsa kak viyti zamuzh v 18 let i prodolzhat' svoyo "hobby" v novoy semye. Ya ne osuzhdayu etih devochek, takaya bila zhizn ih mam i takaya zhe zhizn ozhidayet ih docherey. Vozmozhno izmenitsa zhizn' vnuchek, no, somnevayus' chto eto realno....


Вишня ты как раз мне и напоминаешь такую девушку, только почему то очень самодовольную и по иронии судьбы оказавшейся в и-нете.

[Free]

woow

[Yozuvchi]

И ещё я заметила - на Западе мужчины женятся на ровесницах - однокурсницах, сотрудницах, и т.д. А у нас 30-35-летние мужики все хотят жениться на 16-летних девочках, которые ещё в куклы играют. Такое неравенство в возрасте кстати очень показательно в патриархальных строях.


Ya ne sobirayus otritsat visheukazannoe. No esli sprosyat menya, ya bi ne xotel jenitsa na 16-letnuyu.. Pochemu to ne xochu daje jenitsa na 20-letnuyu... xochetsa jenitsa na rovesnitsu... prosto navernoe iz za togo chto vzglyadi na jizn mogut bit odinakovimi.. i potom, interesno budet o chem libo razgovarivat... pochemu-to kajetsa chto 20-letnyaya devushka, ili skajem devushki do 20 let vse eshe ne gotovi jit s mujem i razdelyat ego interesi.

[Yozuvchi]

No znayu chto ne budu jenitsa na rovesnitsu.

Potomu chto, sredi rovesnits trudno naiti devushku kotoraya ponravilas bi mne:)

Vot tak vot...

[trigger-happy]

Haha! Sam sebe naprotivorechil! :D Ne, ya imenno s vashim vzglyadom i soglasna, chto devushki postarshe kak-to bolee gotovy razdelit' svoyu zhizn' s muzhchinoj na raznyh urovnyah, ne tol'ko bytovom i fizicheskom.

A chto e'to vam sredi rovesnic nikto ne nravitsya? Imeetsya v vidu po vneshnosti (gravitaciya vsyo zhe ;) ) ili po drugim prichinam?

[Yozuvchi]

A chto e'to vam sredi rovesnic nikto ne nravitsya? Imeetsya v vidu po vneshnosti (gravitaciya vsyo zhe ) ili po drugim prichinam?


Sredi rovesnic-uzbechok? :) oni vse zamujem... nu te kotorix ya znayu :)

[cupid]

[quote="Anonymous"]Бывают девушки, которые физически быстро зреют (я в 13 лет выглядела как взрослая женщина с 4 размером лифчика), !

wow :D

ya za to chto-bi devushki zanimalis' sexom samovol'no, kak tol'ko dozreli do etogo. Zachem zhdat do 25? esli sovremennie bez svadbi, esli net - nado vihodit' zamuzh (ne obyazetl'no rozhat' srazu, a tol'ko kogda dlya etogo sozreli vse usloviya).

p.s.
trigger-happy, a mozhno posmotret tvoi segodnyashnie fotografii - interesno ochen' :twisted:

[trigger-happy]

Ya schitayu chto 13 let, i dazhe 16 let - vsyo ravno rano dlya seksa, a tem bolee zamuzhstva. Nado snachala psihologicheski sozret' dlya e'togo dela, a ne tol'ko fizicheski. A to travmiruyutsya bednye devochki.

p.s. cupid - net, nel'zya. Lyubopytnoj Varvare na bazare nos otorvali. :twisted:

[cupid]

Ya schitayu chto 13 let, i dazhe 16 let - vsyo ravno rano dlya seksa, a tem bolee zamuzhstva. Nado snachala psihologicheski sozret' dlya e'togo dela, a ne tol'ko fizicheski. A to travmiruyutsya bednye devochki.

p.s. cupid - net, nel'zya. Lyubopytnoj Varvare na bazare nos otorvali. :twisted:

mne kazhet'sya devushki dolzhni uchitsya s sexu kak mozhno poran'she (pri uslovii, chto eto ih vibor). Raz sozreli dlya etogo - oK, AFAIK zanimat'sya sexom s devushkoy s 14 s ee soglasiya eto ne nezakonno. Sex voobsheto bol'she fizicheskoe naslazhdenie, esli bit ostorozhnim devushki ne budut' travmirovat'sya.

p.s. triggy-happy, otkuda uznala, chto u menya dlinniy nos ? ;) raz sama napisala o sebe i zainteresovala - davay fotku! :D esli ok, mozhet bit vstretimsya ;)

[trigger-happy]

Cupid,

Esli b mne bylo 13, mozhet by i vstretilis'. A tak, mne 24 i ya zamuzhem. :P Tak chto vse svoi prelesti beregu dlya nego odnogo. :D A fotku ne hochu na Internete "zasvetit'" - vdrug kto-to uznaet?

[Yozuvchi]

nu vi poshli slishkom nizko...
ya govoryu o vozraste esli chto :D

[cupid]

trigger-titty ;)

oK, na vsyakiy sluchay, esli izmenish svoe mnenie day znat' !

Cupid dlinnonosiy, i ne tolko nosom:)

[trigger-HAPPY]

cupid-nosy,
don't hold your breath or might have to wait for a long, long, long time.

BTW, you completely got away from the topic. Please tell us, what do you think is the best strategy for dealing with early marriage situation in UZ?

[Mr Potatokiller]

Since we all agree upon the fact that early marrige is phychologically as well as morally wrong. I would assume that it would be in government's interests to levy tax on early marriges. For instance, if the groom is 20 and the bride is 16, then if the couple gets married and registers at 'Zaks' then government could force them to pay a certain amount of money till the maturity age is reached by both couples(ex 19). Since marrige is not marrige unless the couple is registered at 'Zaks', most poor people would simply have to wait till maturity age is reached. Of course, you might say that the couple could get married without being officially registered, but then our boys are horny and would soon want to have childeren. If the couple did not initially register at 'Zaks' then their kid would have difficulties registering under both parents' names.
Anyways, educations and social status improvements would of course help, but only in long run. I just don't see any appropriate solutions to these particular equation offered by 'Trigger-happy'.

trigger-titty,

vse poluchit'sya esli ochen' zahotet' ;) tol'ko nedumayu chto etogo hochu, poskol'ku nichego ne videl.

to, chto dumayu o voprose - kazhdaya devushka sama dol'zhna reshat, kogda ey zamuzh vihodit. Bil-bi tak-zhe ne protiv sexualnoy revolution, hotyabi luchshoe sexual'noe obrazovanie v shkolah neobhodimo.

[trigger-happy]

trigger-titty,

vse poluchit'sya esli ochen' zahotet' ;) tol'ko nedumayu chto etogo hochu, poskol'ku nichego ne videl.

to, chto dumayu o voprose - kazhdaya devushka sama dol'zhna reshat, kogda ey zamuzh vihodit. Bil-bi tak-zhe ne protiv sexualnoy revolution, hotyabi luchshoe sexual'noe obrazovanie v shkolah neobhodimo.
Hey dickhole. Caling me trigger-titty once was a joke, although not a funny one. Doing in more is just showing what an uneducated and low-life person you are. Stop trashing this topic with you idiotic "ideas" - we are discussing a serious issue here. You obviously have nothing to add but your sexual frustration, so move on to the "Gay Anal Sex Techniques" board - it's a great place for those like you. This is the last time I respond to you, so don't bother.

[Mr Perfect]

Since we all agree upon the fact that early marrige is phychologically as well as morally wrong. I would assume that it would be in government's interests to levy tax on early marriges. For instance, if the groom is 20 and the bride is 16, then if the couple gets married and registers at 'Zaks' then government could force them to pay a certain amount of money till the maturity age is reached by both couples(ex 19). Since marrige is not marrige unless the couple is registered at 'Zaks', most poor people would simply have to wait till maturity age is reached. Of course, you might say that the couple could get married without being officially registered, but then our boys are horny and would soon want to have childeren. If the couple did not initially register at 'Zaks' then their kid would have difficulties registering under both parents' names.
Anyways, educations and social status improvements would of course help, but only in long run. I just don't see any appropriate solutions to these particular equation offered by 'Trigger-happy'.

Yes, let us get to the point. What other solutions are possible?

[Vishnya]

Siege, popriderzhi plz svoyi glupiye zamechaniya, OK?
Da, ya i vpravdu dovolna s svoyey zhiznyu, no tebe ne nado iz za etogo nervnichat.
Ya vishla zamuzh v 24 goda i ne zhaleyu ob etom. No yesli bi prishlos podozhdat do 30 let, dlya menya eto ne bilo bi bolshoy problemoy, tak kak ya uverennaya v sebya. I eto glavnoye.

Siege, popriderzhi plz svoyi glupiye zamechaniya, OK?
Da, ya i vpravdu dovolna s svoyey zhiznyu, no tebe ne nado iz za etogo nervnichat.
Ya vishla zamuzh v 24 goda i ne zhaleyu ob etom. No yesli bi prishlos podozhdat do 30 let, dlya menya eto ne bilo bi bolshoy problemoy, tak kak ya uverennaya v sebya. I eto glavnoye.

What does this have to do with the post?

[trigger-happy]

Oh, it's just the old rift between Vishnya and Siege. They keep going back and forth exchanging pleasantries. :D

[Yozuvchi]

Since we all agree upon the fact that early marrige is phychologically as well as morally wrong. I would assume that it would be in government's interests to levy tax on early marriges. For instance, if the groom is 20 and the bride is 16, then if the couple gets married and registers at 'Zaks' then government could force them to pay a certain amount of money till the maturity age is reached by both couples(ex 19). Since marrige is not marrige unless the couple is registered at 'Zaks', most poor people would simply have to wait till maturity age is reached. Of course, you might say that the couple could get married without being officially registered,
but then our boys are horny and would soon want to have childeren

. If the couple did not initially register at 'Zaks' then their kid would have difficulties registering under both parents' names.
Anyways, educations and social status improvements would of course help, but only in long run. I just don't see any appropriate solutions to these particular equation offered by 'Trigger-happy'.


I think this idea makes sound!

I just want to add: not only by imposing tax, but also by increasing the registration fees in ZAKS, if so exists (i never married before, so dont know about this). Let say for brides 16-19 registration fee is $100, for brides 20-22, $70, for brides 23-25, $40, etc... The marrying age of guys will adjust accordingly.

But,

...but then our boys are horny and would soon want to have childeren


This one i dont agree... I just want to skip this, 'cause it is not directly related to the issue.

[Siege]

trigger-happy,
Ya schitayu chto 13 let, i dazhe 16 let - vsyo ravno rano dlya seksa, a tem bolee zamuzhstva. Nado snachala psihologicheski sozret' dlya e'togo dela, a ne tol'ko fizicheski. A to travmiruyutsya bednye devochki.

p.s. cupid - net, nel'zya. Lyubopytnoj Varvare na bazare nos otorvali


А помоему сексом (правда безопасным, только) можно заниматься после первого цикла у девушек и после возникновения четкого желания у парней.
Цикл сам по себе явл-ся знаком, что яйцеклетки созрели и готовы к опладотворению (поэтому и безопасный).
С моральной точки зрения конечно должно быть все шито-крыто - любовь, ненасилие и т.п.
Могу спорить на эту тему с кем угодно!

[cupid]

я в 13 лет выглядела как взрослая женщина с 4 размером лифчика !

:D :D

sorry for calling you trigger-titty, will never use it again ;)

[Royal]

Dears,

I think Mrs. Trigger-happy started very good issue/topic here, but You people make mess of it.
But still this topic is main question problem of the society. This problem You may understand by several different ways: Economy, Traditions, Prezent Situations and etc...
Parents main responcibility of they childs well being in the life, to stipulate the "well being in the life" You can not measure with money.
Same as "some one" says that in USA girls having sex in 13 years or in 16 having babies, becouse in USA everything is open , everyone can get any kind of information regarding the sex, even in schools they distribute the condoms to have safe sex. But could Parents in UZ think about kind of school system, but an such information allready spreading in UZ through the TV, CABLE and all different mass publications and Parents are scared that they childs are getting "wrong" informations to they are head (like CUPID) and they thinking kind of "get read of them" before to late. Please, accept my appologies to saying "get read of it" . Becouse Western life style like they doughters having babies when they in school, is not acceptable. Of cource everyone has own opinion and own body, but percentage. But this percentage come from educated and wealthy families must and Parents are know about this problem. Do any one could tell that Parents who is doughter get pregnant and all the neighbors find out : What the neighborhoods reaction to that family ?

Another aspect of this issue that could be MONEY / PERSONNAL AGENDA. Everytime person thinks He is some higher levels of society , would like to be QUDA with some one higher than his position.

To other people that todays money what they have for the wedding expences, tomorrow may not even to purchase a pair of shoe. Everyone is scared of the current situations .

With one or few words can not be answered or solve this issue, like charging them more money at th ZAGS, that means some one would like to pay more money and get younger girl or what ? Marriage and Divorce statistics available for public ? Do anyone knows the numbers ? Specially for Tashkent city ?

Old people say: "GAP UNDA EMAS, BUGHDOYDA".

Please accept my applogies for any gramma mistaces.

[Lotus]

Siege,

А помоему сексом (правда безопасным, только) можно заниматься после первого цикла у девушек и после возникновения четкого желания у парней.
Цикл сам по себе явл-ся знаком, что яйцеклетки созрели и готовы к опладотворению (поэтому и безопасный).
С моральной точки зрения конечно должно быть все шито-крыто - любовь, ненасилие и т.п.


Can you clarify what shito-prito would mean in this respect? If this is shito-krito from parents and other adults, how can you ensure that the sex is safe?

[Royal]

Do anyone could discribe the reaction of the neighbors to that family who's DOUGHTER been return home with disgrace the she was not CLEAN or NOT VIRGIN and bride admits that she had sex before , even could be she had abortion.

Here, come up main question , I think everyone would have some answer when they have own children before they would talk anything .

[Royal]

Siege-Quote:

""А помоему сексом (правда безопасным, только) можно заниматься после первого цикла у девушек и после возникновения четкого желания у парней.
Цикл сам по себе явл-ся знаком, что яйцеклетки созрели и готовы к опладотворению (поэтому и безопасный).
С моральной точки зрения конечно должно быть все шито-крыто - любовь, ненасилие и т.п. ""

Could You stipulate the " first cycle of girls " , "opladotvorenie - this I think close to version "OOPS, ACCIDENT" .
I think regarding the " PARNEY " , this very old , but always right proverb would be perfect:

" Jenshina mojet no ne hochet, Mujchina hochet no ne mojet ".

[Zvyozdochka]

Pomoyemu nujno gosudarstvo doljno zapretit' molodim lyudyam jenitsya do 25. Ya schitayu etot vozrast samim podhadyashim. Sama imeyu 2 obrazovaniya, rabotayu i zarabativayu sebe na jizn', i ochen' schastliva. Inogda dumayu kakbi ya jila yeslib vishla zamuj kogda mne bilo 16-18. Navernoye izmuchilasbi semeynimi problemami, ne znaya pravil'nogo resheniya. Znayete chtobi vstupit' v brak vajno yeshyo znat' kak obshatsya s lyud'mi, so svekrovyu, s mujom, s rodnimi. A kogda tebe 18 ti tol'ko budesh perechit i utverjdat' chto vse ne pravi i tol'ko ti prava.
Naschyot seksa, schitayu chto ne xorosho zanimatsya seksom v 13, 16,18, i voobshe do svad'bi. Xotya eto vibor kajdogo cheloveka. Ne xochu nikogo obidet'. Tam ktoto skazal chto devushkam nujno nachinat' zanimatsya seksom posle pervogo tsikla. Vot ya posmotryu kak ti odobrish kogda u tebya dochka poydyot pod parnya v 12 let. Tebe eto ponravitsa? Mojet ti sam yey posovetuyesh eto sdelat'? Nado dumet prejde chem govorit takiye veshi. Tsikl yeshyo ne oznachayet gorovnost' devochki k seksu. Dlya etogo ona doljna bit moral'no i ekonomicheski gotova. Vdrug ona zaberemeneyet? Skajite sdelat' abort. A potom ona ne smojet rodit' voobshe i smotrish vsya jizn' iskolechena.
Tak chto ya schitayu chto vlasti doljni vmeshatsya v eto. Nujno zapretit' jenitsya do 25, Yesli sdelat tak to nikto ne budet boyatsya ostatsya v starix devax. Budut uchitsya i zarabativat' sebe do 25 a potom jenis yesli xochesh. Slishala nekotoriye parni kak razgovarivali mejdu soboy, zachem nado jenitsya na molodenkoy, tak mnogoye govorili chto upravlyat molodin'kimi legche, pomenyat harakter, prikazivat i delat vsyo chto zaxochetsya. Tak vot skaju vam forogiye parni i mujchini, vi ochen' sil'no oshibayets', seychas takaya molodyoj, s nimi ne spravitsa. Oni budut delat chto hotyat, i problem u vas budet bol'she, vzrosliye boleye umniye s opitom uje znayut kak sebya vesti v trudnuyu situatsiyu.
Eto tol'ko moyo mneniye, proshu ne obijatsya.

[Dilya87]

zvyozdochka!
ya s vami!!!!!!!!!!

[Muslima_qiz]

It is so hard, it is better to get married arround 24-26 for girls. If you get married before this age it is gonna be really hard, and u need more time to9 be OK with your husbands family, beause You feel like a baby and u r not gonna be enouge mature and u need to live separite with ur husband not with parents, ( bir biriga urganish uchun ham vaht kere, bir biriga urgangandan keyin ota ona bilan yashasa unda hammasiga kunikib ketadi,

[Muslima_qiz]

I dont understand, you guys are talking having a sex before wedding with someone else huh ? Please leave girls alone, Why we girls have to be wrong in all our life, we respect our husband we never ever cheated on,, But guys likes to discouss about girls, dont tell me men never go to someone ore never had sex before their marrige. Ayol kishi nafsini tiya olishi mumkin erkak kishi esa YO"Q. Sorry if ther's missunderstanding

[PainKiller]

At 15 girl can be ready to have sex(and by this I mean only phisiologically), she can know how to iron and cook, and she might be a nice young girl, but all of the above is not enough to make a good, independent, loving wife. A child bride will be emotionally and financially dependant on her husband and the family of her husband. It takes a lot of hard work and maturity to make the marriage work, and by "WORK" I dont mean staying married for extended period of time without getting divorced. By making it work, I mean solving the problems together, loving each other, being supportive of each other's needs and wishes etc.
PS. I think marrying a 15 year old is sick and is nothing but child-raping.

[Adam & Eva]

sorry for the off.

i read that in a country in mideast, a 30-year old man had married to an 8-year old girl. then girl filed a divorce. (this is what i call child-raping)

in our early history in 18,19 century, things were the same even for us. with ussr, we got little different point of view on life. time passes, girls marry at an even later age.