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qorinboy
06-30-2004, 09:59 PM
Randy The Rooster

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that can service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you". "Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!" So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff". And without a word, he strutted into the henhouse. Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pighouse, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out "Stop, Randy, you'll kill yourself". But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. Then, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A vulture was already circling above Randy. The farmer walked up to Randy saying "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you my little buddy". "Shhhhh" Randy whispered, "The vulture's getting closer."


***
There was a chicken and a horse playing together in a barn yard. Suddenly the horse falls into a pit. He yells to the chicken, "Go get the farmer, save me, save me!!!" The chicken goes looking for the farmer but can't find him. So he gets the farmer's BMW and drives it over to the mud pit, lassos the horse, ties it to the car and pulls him out. The horse says, "Thank you, Thank you, I owe you my life..." Then a couple days later they're playing again and this time the chicken falls into the mud pit and the chicken says, "Help me Help me!!! Go get the farmer!!!" So the horse says, "No No No, I think I can get you." The horse stretches across the mud pit and tells the chicken, "Grab onto my dick." The chicken grabs on, the horse stretches back, and the horse saves the chickens' life. So whats the moral of the story??? If you have a dick the size of a horse then you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.



my pleasure qorinboy

qorinboy
06-30-2004, 10:17 PM
Some other jokes, replaced them here.


В узбекской школе.
> >
> > - Темирханов иди на доска расказивай домашнийзадание.
> > - ЭЭЭ, учитэл ака я вичера хлопок сабирал и нэсавсем виучил стишок
> > - Иды биля расказивай как виучил!!!- Кирилоф, БАСЭН "СТРЭКАЗА и МУРАВЭЛ"
> > Папригуний стрэказа цэлий лэта толка пригал
> > Водка жрал нагами дригал, билять работат нэ хател!
> > А мураш завскладам биль он дамой в мешках насиль
> > Чай , урюк , киш-мищ , хурьма гатавлялься на зима
> > А Стрекоз над ним смеяль, водка жраль нагой балталь
> > Ти смеёшся пачему? гаварит Мураш ему,
> > Скоро с неб вада летит, Гиде патом твая сидит?
> > Стреказа Ха-Ха запэл, Трулллляля и улетел.
> > Скоро с нэб вада пащель Стреказа к Мураш пришель
> > Салямааллейкум АКА! ти пусти мене пакаа пака на двор хана буду я тибе
> жина.
> > Мураш папироском чок, -Твоя думал я ОХМОК
> > за лепешка жёп топтать, КЕТ АННАНИСЬКА, ДЖАЛЯБ!
> > Целий лето толко пригаль арак жраль нами дригаль
> > Не здаровался са мной, кет иди вон песни пой!
> > - В этай басен правда есть если хочеш викусно есть
> > лэтам нада рабатать, а ЗИМОЙ НАГА БАЛТАТЬ!!!
> >
> >
> > ГРУЗИНСКИЙ БАСНЬ ПРО ВАРОН
> >
> > Варон залез бальшой сосна
> > И начал посылать всех на...
> > Что б в лес всегда был дружба-мир
> > Варон в е#ал воткнули сир.
> >
> > Шол гордый звэр лисиц. Скучал.
> > Увидел сыр и заторчал.
> > Ходил вокруг пятнадцат круг
> > (Пабил рэкорд) и молвил вдруг:
> >
> > - Чэго ты, генацвали, ждёшь? -
> > И сам не ешь, и нэ даёшь,
> > А толко дразнишь свой еда
> > С балшой апасний высота!
> >
> > Варон послал бы зверя на... -
> > Но сир в е#ал торчит. Х#йна...
> > Птиц чёрни лапка изогнул
> > И fuсk лисиц под нос ваткнул!
> >
> > Медвед шёл спать, увидел fuсk,
> > Ударил об сосна кулак,
> > Варон упал. Пришёль вес лес,
> > Кто что-то нёс с собой, кто бэз...
> >
> > Бальшой и дружный лес тогда
> > Варон весь ночь давал пи$да!
> > ...пад утро ёж сем-восэм раз
> > Из птица сделал пидарас.
> >
> > ***
> > Теперь варон простой пэтух
> > И сыр давно в е#ал протух.
> > С тех пор вес лес варон имэл
> > Кагда хотель и как умэл.
> >
> > ***
> > Марал грузинский баснь прост -
> > За твой е#ал в ответе хвост!
> >


pleasure


qorinboy :lol: