moslem husband-christian wife?

[hungaryforever]

Well, how I should start.

Earlier, I wrote post about mixed marriages in the same section. I had personal experiences, and I was very optimistic. But things has changed since then. I think different about this in some cases. But not generally.

The case is the following:

My sister has moslem boyfriend (pakistani akhmadian, but lives in Canada). They met through internet 2,5 years. They meet 2-3 times in a year since that (1-1,5 month staying).

Things went well, the guy was really kind, funny, and open minded, I mean not an orthodox moslem.

Things turned serious, and they started to plan wedding. And the problem started too. The guy now demands my sister not to go out with her friends, not to drink any alcohol, etc etc. He became very angry, when got to know my sister participated in a wedding of her one of the best friends.
They want to change my sister's name too. Not only the family name, but the given name too. Now the guy started to consider my sister as a subject, not as a human. At least, from my point of view.

I started to think about it, and my conclusion is the following:

"good" marriage is not possible between moslem man, and christian woman (I use this definition, however my sister is not christian, but pagan, but she has been grown up in christian country), cause women have much less rights in moslem culture, and it is very hard to gave up their usual freedom.
My sister gave up many things, conversion to moslem religion was obvious, but now she really started to think about this marriage.
Though I must say, I know some very few opposite cases, but at these cases, the couples live in Hungary, not with the husband's family.

I still think, marriage between christian man and moslem girl is more than possible, cause girls have more rights here, than in moslem countries.
Personally I treat my "other half" (if I have) as a goddess. And 1 more thing, conversion to christianism is not required. At least, I don't care about, not important for me, if the girl loves me.

what do you think about it?

[Black]

Well, how I should start.

Earlier, I wrote post about mixed marriages in the same section. I had personal experiences, and I was very optimistic. But things has changed since then. I think different about this in some cases. But not generally.

The case is the following:

My sister has moslem boyfriend (pakistani akhmadian, but lives in Canada). They met through internet 2,5 years. They meet 2-3 times in a year since that (1-1,5 month staying).

Things went well, the guy was really kind, funny, and open minded, I mean not an orthodox moslem.

Things turned serious, and they started to plan wedding. And the problem started too. The guy now demands my sister not to go out with her friends, not to drink any alcohol, etc etc. He became very angry, when got to know my sister participated in a wedding of her one of the best friends.
They want to change my sister's name too. Not only the family name, but the given name too. Now the guy started to consider my sister as a subject, not as a human. At least, from my point of view.

I started to think about it, and my conclusion is the following:

"good" marriage is not possible between moslem man, and christian woman (I use this definition, however my sister is not christian, but pagan, but she has been grown up in christian country), cause women have much less rights in moslem culture, and it is very hard to gave up their usual freedom.
My sister gave up many things, conversion to moslem religion was obvious, but now she really started to think about this marriage.
Though I must say, I know some very few opposite cases, but at these cases, the couples live in Hungary, not with the husband's family.

I still think, marriage between christian man and moslem girl is more than possible, cause girls have more rights here, than in moslem countries.
Personally I treat my "other half" (if I have) as a goddess. And 1 more thing, conversion to christianism is not required. At least, I don't care about, not important for me, if the girl loves me.

what do you think about it?

I'll be short (I am in a hurry).
You know what? What you said about women's right is BS. Need to explain? Later, I am in a hurry. Women in Islam are respected much more than any other religion or culture and they have much more rights than cristian women. Believe me.

Black.

(No offence)

[Proserpina]

Some cultural clashes are unavoidable among those mixed married couples.

In my opinion, your sister should have considered way before she made such a commitment.

If she is living in Canada, I would suggest her and her husband to go to the family counseling.

[melo]

I think the main problem is not religion, but the fact that he changed his expectations so much. If he had made such demands from the beginning of the relationship your sister probably would not have been interested in him. I think this goes with anyone. If someone suddenly changes their personality and expectations of you right before the wedding this is a huge warning sign. She is not marrying the person she fell in love with.

[Qizil-Gul]

Things went well, the guy was really kind, funny, and open minded, I mean not an orthodox moslem.


I think your judgment is wrong driven from conclusion, I think he is more than orthodox, he is cultural orthodox. Good marraige is possible between muslim man and christian woman... But he has to be upright, practicing muslim man who is aware of values that Islam puts in women and marriage.

since that (1-1,5 month staying).
and The guy now demands my sister not to go out with her friends, not to drink any alcohol, etc etc. He became very angry, when got to know my sister participated in a wedding of her one of the best friends.
They want to change my sister's name too.

These two examples do not correlate with one another...

[Angel_Lady]

Yeah!! that's kinda strange. Guy was different at the beginning then changed himself or it might be that he was like that form the beginning and tried to conquer ur sis's love. I know it sounds funny and childish :(

[just_in]

The first question is to you, :
Do u have any knowledge about Islam, human right in this religion? If no, then you should better keep your ideas secret while talking abt things u don't know. Coz if u knew, you wouldn't have said all that things.

Mo'minga mo'mina, muslimga muslima!!! That's it!

[FeruzaHonim]

I'll be short (I am in a hurry).
You know what? What you said about women's right is BS. Need to explain? Later, I am in a hurry. Women in Islam are respected much more than any other religion or culture and they have much more rights than cristian women. Believe me.

Black.

(No offence)

yoU are right Black .

[FeruzaHonim]

there is no definitin in ISLAM such as "orthodox moslem". There ARE moslems who Fully practise islam and usually they Respect their womAN.

[referee]

Well, how I should start.

Earlier, I wrote post about mixed marriages in the same section. I had personal experiences, and I was very optimistic. But things has changed since then. I think different about this in some cases. But not generally.

The case is the following:

My sister has moslem boyfriend (pakistani akhmadian, but lives in Canada). They met through internet 2,5 years. They meet 2-3 times in a year since that (1-1,5 month staying).

Things went well, the guy was really kind, funny, and open minded, I mean not an orthodox moslem.

Things turned serious, and they started to plan wedding. And the problem started too. The guy now demands my sister not to go out with her friends, not to drink any alcohol, etc etc. He became very angry, when got to know my sister participated in a wedding of her one of the best friends.
They want to change my sister's name too. Not only the family name, but the given name too. Now the guy started to consider my sister as a subject, not as a human. At least, from my point of view.

I started to think about it, and my conclusion is the following:

"good" marriage is not possible between moslem man, and christian woman (I use this definition, however my sister is not christian, but pagan, but she has been grown up in christian country), cause women have much less rights in moslem culture, and it is very hard to gave up their usual freedom.
My sister gave up many things, conversion to moslem religion was obvious, but now she really started to think about this marriage.
Though I must say, I know some very few opposite cases, but at these cases, the couples live in Hungary, not with the husband's family.

I still think, marriage between christian man and moslem girl is more than possible, cause girls have more rights here, than in moslem countries.
Personally I treat my "other half" (if I have) as a goddess. And 1 more thing, conversion to christianism is not required. At least, I don't care about, not important for me, if the girl loves me.

what do you think about it?

dear Hungaryforever,

Your posting has a major contradiction that puts a question mark on your conclusion, which is - you claim your sister is a pagan, but your post discusses and suggests a conclusion on a marriage between a Muslim man and a Christian woman.

If your sister were a Christian, she would be very clear with her future husband what she can negotiate and what she cannot in terms of her beliefs. And if the groom were a Muslim, he would also be very clear as who he is and what he expects from her if they were to get married. If she is not Christian and he was not straightforward about his religion (or may be even confused about his religion, according to your post), so what relevance does it have on the question of the post?

If you want to discuss a particular case of your sister, i am sure many here would love to post their views and help you with advices. But if your example is meant to prompt people to jump into conclusions, as you seem to have done, then obviously it is not gonna fly:D

On wider point of inter-marriages: it's a tough choice and it can work if both Christian wife and Muslim husband are committed to their faith, marriage and commonsense. But on your second point: if a Muslim woman is indeed Muslim then she'd know that she can only marry to a Muslim man. If she disregards this divine rule, she'll be accountable for her weakness in faith before God.

[hungaryforever]

The first question is to you, :
Do u have any knowledge about Islam, human right in this religion? If no, then you should better keep your ideas secret while talking abt things u don't know. Coz if u knew, you wouldn't have said all that things.

Mo'minga mo'mina, muslimga muslima!!! That's it!

Yes, I have knowledge of course. I never judge without knowledge.
When I was a student for instance, I lived with 2 egyptian guys.
And I knew many moslem guys who studied in my university.
I must say, most of them were quite strange with girls. I mean they were kind etc etc, but when they got one girl, they started to be very jealous.
I think they were frustrated that girls have more freedom here (to go to disco, wearing sexy clothes, not wearing chador). And as far as I know, husband control their wives very much in moslem countries. There are countries, where women denied to see football matches for instance.
My sister was in Syria with her boyfriend, and suffered many insults that she didn't wear headscarf. And eventually, to prevent further insults, she forced to wear headscarf.
To referee: I want to put clear some things. Yes, my sister is pagan, but grown up in a christian country, and of course related to christianism in every day life, culturally etc etc. I'm so called pagan too, though I believe in such God, but of course, I related to christianism very much.

[The Reaper]

Hungaryforever:
I'll not comment about the initial post, because it'll take time, and I'm too lazy right now.

All I want to say is, what did YOU do about it?
She's your sister for God's sake! Why can't you interfere knowing full well that her future might be in danger? Where are your balls? Which purse did you leave them in?? :twisted:

If I was in your shoes, I'd tell the guy to piss off, and go look for a wife back in Pakistan, or wherever the hell he comes from. If he doesn't listen, apply your fist to his face, and repeat the process every time he shows up.

TR

[Proserpina]

clap, clap to the Reaper

[Maroon]

Typical woman and man relationship. Are not we all different before when we date? Yes woman complain, how beautiful it was when they were not married and how hard it is now because they are not the "same". Bla bla. The circle goes round and round. :D

Anyway, when a Christian girl plans to date a Moslim guy and things get serious she should talk about these things. COMMUNICATE.

Even I thought about these things even though my husband is from Uzbekistan but from a different ethnic backround.

My conclusion:

I blame your sister for not engaging her brain.

[PainKiller]

When u meet someone and fall for that person, I truly belive u fall into whatever the subject is infront of you. And if u like someone but somewhere u have this "She is cool but, I wish she was a bit of this and a bit of that" thought and planing to change her after u r in position to change that, U r not a fair player. I believe, a person who is getting into a relationship with you, should know about your plans regarding her persona before it goes too deep.
Imagine I meet you, say u I love you but after marriage or before marriage start putting barriers u need to cross to be with me and change u. What a biased thinking is this?
If you love, u love for what u already have in ur hands. If after a while stuff in person starts pissing you off like her drinking or smoking habits, this simply shows that even at the begining of ur relationship u were faking it pretending you are cool with it all.
All I said above goes to one thing:Accept as it is from the begining and love for who she is with frekles, with red hair, with nice belly, with fatty cheeks. Do not marry a skinny girl and demand her to gain weight. If u r into something specific search for it, instead of changing people's lives and stuff.

[elDoraDo]

When u meet someone and fall for that person, I truly belive u fall into whatever the subject is infront of you. yes, girls in our forum are really smart. :D

As for the case - I don't believe that that's love. Not from his side - if he wants to change her now, nor her side if she can't go with all what he has, demands. Just my two cents

[hungaryforever]

Hungaryforever:

All I want to say is, what did YOU do about it?
She's your sister for God's sake! Why can't you interfere knowing full well that her future might be in danger? Where are your balls? Which purse did you leave them in?? :twisted:

If I was in your shoes, I'd tell the guy to piss off, and go look for a wife back in Pakistan, or wherever the hell he comes from. If he doesn't listen, apply your fist to his face, and repeat the process every time he shows up.

TR

You know, it is very hard to kick such ass, which is thousands kilometres far from you. Or do you have such legs? I have strong doubts.

[corsair]

its all good people its all good.
moslem husband-christian wife
son- buddist, girlfriend - catholic
daughter - on playboy, boyfriend- scientologist

[hungaryforever]

its all good people its all good.
moslem husband-christian wife
son- buddist, girlfriend - catholic
daughter - on playboy, boyfriend- scientologist

:lol: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[madman02]

The guy now demands my sister not to go out with her friends, not to drink any alcohol, etc etc. He became very angry, when got to know my sister participated in a wedding of her one of the best friends. They want to change my sister's name too. Not only the family name, but the given name too. Now the guy started to consider my sister as a subject, not as a human.


"good" marriage is not possible between moslem man,


what do you think about it?

Well, hungaryforever listen, about marriage between muslim and christian, some of my friends have such a problem, but I cannot say that's impossible, everything is possible, but this kind of marriage too, too difficult, cuz two already not young humans who grew up whit there own opinion, and now someone want to change all these things, it is too difficult to do that, that's a problem what they will meet first.

How about the pakistanin guy, I think that's too much change everything immidently. I'm alhamdu lillah muslim, but I cannot agree with this, it's not as you said above thing, it's human, he had to explain everything before doing something. And she had to choose by herself.

and about the right of women in muslim religion, the users told you about that above. I'm not going to repeat that. Good luck!!!