The art of dating.

[Пушкарева]

The thread might be useful to some. A logic behind: here people might learn skills of effective dating that might have a higher probability of turning into a serious relationship.

Now, some adjustment to uzbek mentality: a marriage based on feelings rather than pressure is usually more sustainable and tend to reproduce a happier generation. :)





So you went out with somebody and thought they were absolutely amazing. She was the hottest, sexiest woman of the moment. So, how do you capitalize on the success of a great first date?
Here are 10 sure-fire ways to get that second date:

1. Ask her out again at the end of the first date. Invite her to do something she told you she finds exciting. For example, if she likes Mexican food, tell her you know the best Mexican restaurant in town and you want to bring her there Tuesday night. Set up that second date so she doesn't have time to think about the first date, and so she has something to look forward to.

2. Text her or call her the very next day. Either text her a simple message that says "Had a great time last night...Looking forward to the next time." Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone.

3. Don't agree with everything she says. Challenge her mind.
If you agree with everything she says, she'll look at you as being weak.
If you agree with everything she says, she'll look at you as being weak. If she sees you as being weak, she will no longer be attracted to you, and you will no longer get a second look or a second date. I'm not telling you to be confrontational. I'm telling you to be open, honest and real.

4. Don't expect sex or force the issue of sex until it's right for both parties. Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other. There are no rules about when to have sex for the first time with a new potential partner. You're both adults, and if a woman decides that she doesn't want to have sex with you for a month, respect her! Or, if a woman decides she wants to have sex with you on the first date, respect that decision too! When you do have sex, make sure that the two of you handle it like adults and not like children.

5. Be positive and fun when you're out with her on a date. Don't bash your ex. Don't complain about all the things that are wrong in your life. Spend time getting to know each other's good sides.

6. Listen to your date. Question things that don't sound right. Have a two-sided conversation instead of talking at her. Most men tend to want to impress women with their accomplishments.
Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what's inside.
Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what's inside. So spend time listening and having a conversation instead of bragging about yourself. The less you brag, the more interested she will be!

7. When out with your date, do not check out other women in front of her. Do this, and you'll never get another date with her again.

8. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Don't tell her all night long how beautiful she is, because she will start to think that you've never before been out with a woman as beautiful as her, and you'll start to lose your power.

9. Compliment her mind. Compliment her once about the way she looks.
Bond with her mentally and emotionally and physically
Bond with her mentally and emotionally and physically, and she will bond with you in ways that you've never experienced before!

10. Once you've secured the second date, and the second date is successful, you need to set up an "activity date" for date number three -- take her to the park, go to the beach, or take your dogs for a long walk. Do things that cause her to picture the two of you as a couple. Dates should be creative, not boring. Sitting there and swapping stories over dinner tends to get monotonous after date number one, so start creatively planning different dates.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/23867/10-sure-fire-ways-to-get-a-second-date;_ylc=X3oDMTI3anV1bDc3BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2Zw X3RvZGF5BHNsawMxMC1zdXJlLWZpcmUtd2F5cy10by1nZXQtYS 1zZWNvbmQtZGF0ZQR6egNh

[Shambles]

Dont really agree with the second point. NEVER text or call her (for males), since you could easily freak her out. Just impress her at the first dating and when you see that you do impress her (her eyes would be shining) just disappear for a while. Then the real story starts....

She would think that she did sth wrong or even worse - disappointed you... That's really good!!!! Since she's entrapped... The more she thinks about the wonderful night out, the more she thinks about urself - the more chances you have "to reproduce a happier generation"... and become someone special for her...

And then... when you call her after a while....ooooh, she would be the happiest person in this world, she would soar up in the air, whereas you would be the God for her!!!

Good luck in the art of seduction!!!

[Shambles]

Nezabudka, what happened to your post?

It's gone...

[Пушкарева]

I deleted it. :)

Nezabudka, what happened to your post?

It's gone...

[Shambles]

I deleted it. :)


Could I assume then that guys should torture girls??? :))))

[Пушкарева]

Having charming skills is so important. It can drive the other half crazy. For quite a long time.

[Пушкарева]

I partially agree, but also think that charming is acquirable. With experience, confidence and desire. If you dont like a person - you dont even want looking attractive or anything. But once there is such a person, the things come pretty natural.

Kakoy--to humble-bumble napisala. :)


I dont think it is a skill. You either have that sparkle or you don't. Some women can drive a man crazy by simply walking into the room and others can not do it. And it is not charm I think it is confidence that comes off so sexy.

[dauphin]

I recommend watching sex and the city. you can learn a lot. maybe...

[Shambles]

Be audacious during the first date... Girls do appreciate that!!!

[dauphin]

Never date with a woman who is older than you and who is more experienced than you are. Don't even come close if she is a uzbek woman. Try to forget her name if she lives with her mom. (that is about women in US).

[dauphin]

This is interesting cause my American guy friends say that they would rather date an experienced woman than a one that has none.

When I said experienced I meant the experience in life and carrier not in sexual life :)

[dauphin]

I meant that as well... Experience in general is important.

Yes, it is, when someone uses that to build something. Not for to get the things he/she wants.

[Пушкарева]

Nima degani bu? Try not to offtop here please. If not interesting, check other threads.


just one word: OMFG!:)

[dauphin]

just one word: OMFG!:)

Martin rashshifrovka qiling uni ::))

[dauphin]

By the way dating it is not ****ing art, it is life. There is rules. There is some ways to improve your chances, but I would suggest never use them. Because, you are playing with someone's life. If you don't like anything about her tell right away. Don't believe in her promises. Don't hope that she will get better. Never hope for the best. Hope for the worst. Then you will win. Then you will never be in creepy situations.

[dauphin]

Well you learn from the past experinces and build a better future. And using your experiences to get what you want is not bad. It is smart.

It is smart. You are doing what is best for you.But smart is not equal to maniac, isn't it? If smart one does what is best for him, maniacs would be the smartest ones in the world. Because they get the best thing for them no matter what.

[dauphin]

If there is no hope than there is no love or relationships. You need jump in and hope for the better. And if it does not work out try again. Thats is what love and dating is about. Hope is what keeps us alive. If there is no hope whats the point?

Ok, I am not in that situation, don't get me wrong. By the way do you know me?

[dauphin]

Your logic makes no sense. Elaborate.

What I can do? I can suggest engaging your brain, not only fingers...

[PainKiller]

The idea is good, the article is lame.
You can go on a first date with a manual, but you cannot build a relationship on that. Overall, everything will play important role in whether a man and a woman will have something more than just three dates thing, like for example relationship. You cannot learn how to date from the books. The whole idea seems to me funny and for high schoolers, sorry.

[alpum]

What is our life – it is the Game! And every one plays his own role.

I can’t refuse an offer of nice woman, or girl on dating.
There is always question - Why not?

Ye, I know that it is bad playing with feelings of others, but

But the Game inspires me much every time – It doesn’t matter is she older or younger – if I like her I will play this Game – dating.
And that period of time – when I am just start dating with a girl whom I like very much – I feel increase of my creative power.

And there are no any special roles – IMHO.

Just be yourself and try to understand, to feel your partner – and enjoy the process of dating)))

[Shambles]

It's so much fun to play with a girl who also wants to play, but, more importantly, who knows how to play dating games...

That's really exciting!!!

[Tokugawa]

Shambles, Ты похоже ... сердцеед?! :D

I agree with people who think person should be natural. No need for extra build-up annoying effects. Just be yourself either on a dating or just having a chat with your one...

[The Reaper]

I recommend watching sex and the city. you can learn a lot. maybe...

What did YOU learn from it? Please feel free to share.

EDIT: The whole show is about four old, bitter, wrinkly whores looking for validation by screwing everything that has a pulse. Maybe it's just me, but I'm having troubles figuring out its educational value.

TR

[Shambles]

Shambles, Ты похоже ... сердцеед?! :D

I agree with people who think person should be natural. No need for extra build-up annoying effects. Just be yourself either on a dating or just having a chat with your one...

Tokugawa, ne znayu sertseyed li ya, no I'm a big fan of the seduction game... Odna problema v etoy igre... after conquering a girl, she becomes less attractive than she actually is... Pity!:(

[Tokugawa]

Seduction game is sort of an offshoot of psycologic game, I believe. But its ending is really hollow. I'm out of this ... :)

Tokugawa, ne znayu sertseyed li ya, no I'm a big fan of the seduction game... Odna problema v etoy igre... after conquering a girl, she becomes less attractive than she actually is... Pity!:(

[Пушкарева]

It might seem silly and boring for the date "profesionals" or people with the vast background, but as mentioned earlier the thread is aimed at a less skillful population. I was mainly thinking about inconfident young guys in Uzbekistan.

The idea is good, the article is lame.
You can go on a first date with a manual, but you cannot build a relationship on that. Overall, everything will play important role in whether a man and a woman will have something more than just three dates thing, like for example relationship. You cannot learn how to date from the books. The whole idea seems to me funny and for high schoolers, sorry.

[alpum]

They say that woman can do several things simultaneously.

While she is speaking with her partner she can think ab other thing – the discussion goes in its own way and her thoughts in other way.

Men can’t act like you girls – they do it as it is – as feelings come to him.

Psychology of men are simple – it is like COME, SEE, TAKE(WIN).

So maybe better to see here our forum girls opinion.

THEY ALSO SAY – bitta ayourlning makri 40 otga youk)))

[The Reaper]

It might seem silly and boring for the date "profesionals" or people with the vast background, but as mentioned earlier the thread is aimed at a less skillful population. I was mainly thinking about inconfident young guys in Uzbekistan.

That's the bottom line - confidence is key.
No dating manuals, and no advice will ever help if a guy has confidence and self-esteem issues.

When you have absolute, unshakable confidence in yourself, to the point where it borders with arrogance, everything falls in place - including and not limited to personal life.

I think this thread would have done better if it contained advice, or links to resources about mindset training, and personal development.

Public Service Announcement: Steve Pavlina's blog (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/) is a good start. His stuff is solid.

TR

[Пушкарева]

You actually got the point. The goal of the thread is to facilitate the youth's (in our culture - young guys') confidence in building a healthy relationship.

And thank you for posting the resource link. People please join.

I think this thread would have done better if it contained advice, or links to resources about mindset training, and personal development

[dauphin]

What did YOU learn from it? Please feel free to share.

EDIT: The whole show is about four old, bitter, wrinkly whores looking for validation by screwing everything that has a pulse. Maybe it's just me, but I'm having troubles figuring out its educational value.

TR

I totally agree about that. I should have said if you wanna learn about whores and for someone who is looking for that style of life. It can be educational. :)

[Shambles]

I totally agree about that. I should have said if you wanna learn about whores and for someone who is looking for that style of life. It can be educational. :)

Sex and the city is about entertaining... Entertain yourself but abstain from educational conclusions. It won't teach you how to date successfuly but it could give you some insights about woman's thinking who are close to her 40s. Try to have fun!!!

[Uyyonli]

Tokugawa, ne znayu sertseyed li ya, no I'm a big fan of the seduction game... Odna problema v etoy igre... after conquering a girl, she becomes less attractive than she actually is... Pity!:(

thank U :rolleyes: even worth boooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrring

[Bonik]

You actually got the point. The goal of the thread is to facilitate the youth's (in our culture - young guys') confidence in building a healthy relationship.

And thank you for posting the resource link. People please join.

Well, u have something in this thread. It should be educational for some young and not so young but shy minds. People are different in this kRaZy World. But some things are constant:
1. In order to achieve happiness in couple's lives, they should have something in common :)
2. They should be forgiving each other and trying to understand each other.
3. First meeting is also important. If your first impression of a person is a POSITIVE one. That's a huge plus.

i nakonets poslednee i samoe glavnoe: na Svidaniyah Vi doljni vesti sebya estestvenno, scastxe nahodtsya toxko togda kogda dvum ChUlavechKaM :) nravitsya "ВИЗИВИГ" t.e. "What You See Is What You Get".

[Пушкарева]

7 Dating Ups and Downs

How to ride the rollercoaster

Dating is a process a lot of us really can live without. It's an emotional rollercoaster that can drive you to drink four year-old bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade from the back of your refrigerator.

Here's my list of the top ups and downs of dating -- and how to feel better about them:

1. Stop the mental post-date recap abuse. You went out with somebody with whom you thought you had a connection, and it turns out you didn't. So now you're going to mentally torture yourself for the next four days trying to figure out what you said wrong. You'll even torture all your friends asking them what you could have done differently.
“The post-date recap is a form of mental torture.”

The post-date recap is a form of mental torture. You will never know what that other person is thinking unless they call you. If they don't call, it really does mean that he or she is just not that into you (which is about the only good advice from that ridiculously stupid book).

2. We made out in the parking lot and they never called again. Making out is fun! You needed it. They needed it. Don't beat yourself up that you did it, just realize you did it. Be okay with it. It was a great date. You were in the moment, and you experienced something that you wanted to do.

3. I texted them the next morning and said, "I had a great time last night," and they never texted back. So what? You had a great time last night. So did they. They just woke up, and their post-date recap was different from yours. They probably had a good time, but when they thought about it, the chemistry and the "it" factor wasn't there. It's not about you. At least you were honest. So you did all you can do.

4. Should I have said something different in my voicemail message? You left a voicemail message and now you're replaying it in your head a thousand times. "Should I have said 'Last night was fun' with more enthusiasm? Is that why she's not calling me back?"

“When it comes to voicemail messages, the shorter the better.”

When it comes to voicemail messages, the shorter the better. From an old sales technique, I always prefer to say, "Last night was fun. I have something really funny to share with you the next time we speak." That's it -- it creates a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of mystery and no mental torture.

5. Who cares what they think? You left the above voicemail message without knowing if you'll ever see them again, and they don't call you back. You start to think, "Now they know that I like them, and they don't like me." So what? Is it better to just sit there and hope and pray they call? I always believe in being honest. You've got to do what feels right for you.

6. Stop giving your power away to one person. If a two-hour date can cause you to give away all your power and confidence, then you need to learn to embrace yourself and love yourself more. This is just one person you went out with for two hours. They don't know what an amazing person you are. The only thing they know is the person they sat across from at the table. Whether they choose to hang with you again isn't the issue. The issue is that one person does not determine your worthiness. You've got to toughen your skin.

“Rejection is what dating is all about”

Rejection is what dating is all about; you can't take it personally. If I go out with someone and I have a great time but they never want to see me again, I'm still a great person the next day.

7. In order to feel better about dating, you need to think abundance. Just because you think you like somebody and they don't call you back, this is not the last person in the world you're going to meet. In order to be a successful dater, you need to practice abundance. The power of abundance is training your mind to realize that if it doesn't work out with one person (or 10 people), there are plenty of other people out there who do want to hang out with a fantastic person like you.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/24994/7-dating-ups-and-downs

[Hayrullo]

ЧЕМ БОЛЬШЕ ОТТАЛКИВАЕШЬ ЕЕ ОТ СЕБЯ ТЕМ БЛИЖЕ ОНА ИДЕТ К ТЕБЕ!!!

Most of the times it works! :lol:

[Пушкарева]

__________________________________

10 Fatal Online Dating Errors

Mistakes that men make
By David Wygant Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Sep 15, 2007

Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they're trying to contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me some amazing things men have written to them in emails.

Many men feel they can just say anything in an email when they are trying to get a woman to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman in a bar or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But when they're hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men get abrasive and crude.

Here's my list of 10 things NEVER to do when you're online trying to get a woman to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you'll swear I'm making up! But all of them are things men actually do.

Top 10 email turnoffs for women

1. Don't ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are. You might as well just tell her you only want to sleep with her and you have no interest in getting to know her, because that's what she's going to think if you ask her this.

2. Don't email her seven times asking her why she hasn't responded to your first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient.
“Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.”
Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.

3. Don't ask her how many other dates she's been on from Yahoo! Personals. How many other dates someone has been on is not important. What is important is finding out whether the two of you click when you hang out.

4. Don't send her a nasty email if she hasn't responded to you after several emails. It's her prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact with you. If she doesn't want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There are plenty of other women out there who you can contact.

5. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don't send her dirty pictures of you. Women are all about connecting with their minds. Just because you're looking for a quick fling, that doesn't mean she's going to respond.

6. If she gives you her phone number, don't wait a week to call her. By extension, if you do wait a week to call her and she doesn't call you back, don't be shocked. Women have many options online. If she gives you her phone number, I suggest calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.

7. When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to "Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?"
“Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures”
Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures, which means you send some and she sends some. Several women have complained to me that men ask them to send pictures of themselves in bikinis or other such things, so that men can see their body. Men, don't do this!

8. Don't get offended if she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you. You need to be flexible and open to her suggestions. Sometimes you may need to email back and forth for a week, and sometimes she'll give you her phone number right away. Either way, don't be rude.

9. Do not email-stalk her.
“Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day”
Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day for three weeks, until they are forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the very first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you're freaking her out! You've become an online stalker. That's a guarantee she'll never go out with you.

10. Don't send cut-and-paste emails. When connecting with her for the very first time, don't cut and paste an email message in July that you've been sending out for six months with a tagline that says, "I love the holidays." By doing that, she knows you didn't read her profile - and that you're really, really lazy

[Пушкарева]

One of the comments (male) regarding the above advice, :)

That is plain common sense. Why would people do send such things? It is hard enough meeting woman or vice versa in the real world. Online dating is an alternative, but is seems to be as hard or harder than going out and meeting woman or vice versa. It also seem woman are too picky on their criteria on their profiles. Don't get me wrong, they have every right to be and don't deserve to get less. But why do most always want the over 6'0 guy. I'm 5'9 and I possess many great traits, integrity, and character far beyond most men and especially those tall ones. For example, I got a hot fit bod, very high paying career field, have a nice home and car. I see women do double takes or even triple takes on me all the times. I am romantic, strong, confident, and knows how to treat a lady right and communicate well. She would not know that about me if she would even have coffee and talk at a public place because she want a tall guy. But, my downfall is I'm a bit shy when comes to approaching and talking to women in public. But yes, I agree with this article, people should not do all those things. You gotta weird or someone chemically imbalance in the head to do such things. Then yes, stay away from them.

[ДЖИГИТ]

Cunny people make dating an art. Sincere people don't turn experience to art, whether it's good or bad one.

[lost]

turn off your mobile during the date.


sorry if it was mentioned above. i didn't read the whole thread

[Demir Kağan]

Simple and short but really hard to do. These are the secret of a long dating which goes a marriage..

- Love
- Respect
- Listen
- Be Understanding

[Vezunchik]

Simple and short but really hard to do. These are the secret of a long dating which goes a marriage..

- Love
- Respect
- Listen
- Be Understanding

+ Destiny
= ....

[Shambles]

Simple and short but really hard to do. These are the secret of a long dating which goes a marriage..

- Love
- Respect
- Listen
- Be Understanding

Sorry, but I think this secret works in fiction books and Hollywood/Bollywood movies... The secret that works in 80-90 per cents is in being audacious and interesting to your dating partner...

[Demir Kağan]

If you don't want a long term relationship, never mind what I said but if you, do it. :)

[Shambles]

If you don't want a long term relationship, never mind what I said but if you, do it. :)

Profound, good, but too idealistic, imho...:)

[G_Hot]

ЧЕМ БОЛЬШЕ ОТТАЛКИВАЕШЬ ЕЕ ОТ СЕБЯ ТЕМ БЛИЖЕ ОНА ИДЕТ К ТЕБЕ!!!
Most of the times it works! :lol: 2 raza ottolknesh` ne vernetsya :)

[G_Hot]

If you don't want a long term relationship, never mind what I said but if you, do it. :) you`ll not even come to a relationship , you`ll just become her friend ... one of many others