Do you really know him?

[Sarahjon]

Girls,
what do you do when you come across a person with a split personality, and it is shocking. what if that person is your boyfriend. what if the perfect relationship turns into a real nightmare. a friend of mine is living through a terrible personal drama and i have no way to help. i do not know how or what to say... i do not know all the details, but all i see that she is really shocked by the overnight change in that guy. she even thought he might have been on drugs, or he was hiding his personality disorder. OMG. This is so scary.

[Demir Kağan]

Personality changings in relationships are only seen when the feeling of loosing him / her doesn't exist any more. The only way that she can survive this relationship is breaking up with him and giving him a long time.

[Sarahjon]

Personality changings in relationships are only seen when the feeling of loosing him / her doesn't exist any more. The only way that she can survive this relationship is breaking up with him and giving him a long time.

what if taht is sickness, and leaving him means leaving a person when he is ill and actually needs support.

[Sarahjon]

Personality changings in relationships are only seen when the feeling of loosing him / her doesn't exist any more. The only way that she can survive this relationship is breaking up with him and giving him a long time.

she said the guy was normal, but all of a sudden overnight has become verbally abusive. she also found medicine in the car which is prescription narcotic, and is really freaking out right now. in a mess.

[Пушкарева]

Do not do anything. Let them to resolve their issues on their own.

However, I do agree, its scary when a person has the split personality. I kinda encountered something similar recently. :shocked: :shocked:


Girls,
what do you do when you come across a person with a split personality, and it is shocking. what if that person is your boyfriend. what if the perfect relationship turns into a real nightmare. a friend of mine is living through a terrible personal drama and i have no way to help. i do not know how or what to say... i do not know all the details, but all i see that she is really shocked by the overnight change in that guy. she even thought he might have been on drugs, or he was hiding his personality disorder. OMG. This is so scary.

[Prince]

she said the guy was normal, but all of a sudden overnight has become verbally abusive. she also found medicine in the car which is prescription narcotic, and is really freaking out right now. in a mess.

Thats the problem with Girls,
Girls like Normal guys, fall in love , because he's acting "fake" and "normal" as you said, later she'll find out that he was acting , he was not normal at all! Girls usually ask "Dont i deserve that ?" Ohh well you Do , but why you need FAKE one!?
Rude[but streight] is better then normal[fake] guy then ;)

Drugs? Leave him! Unless he quits it! Leave him! If he can Quit and then come back to you , then you can accept him! But leave him for now! If he loves/respects or needs you he'll quit and come back to you!

Good lUCk

[Sarahjon]

Do not do anything. Let them to resolve their issues on their own.

However, I do agree, its scary when a person has the split personality. I kinda encountered something similar recently. :shocked: :shocked:

can you share the details? what did you do?

i am in no position to give advice to my friend. i just want to find an answer for myself b/c this is a really tough call. a challenge.

[Пушкарева]

As soon as I realized that I decided to stay away. As far as I can. ;) Potom problem ne obereshsya.

Posovetuy podruge toje samoye. Yey je luchshe budet.

can you share the details? what did you do?

[Sarahjon]

As soon as I realized that I decided to stay away. As far as I can. ;) Potom problem ne obereshsya.

Posovetuy podruge toje samoye. Yey je luchshe budet.

my first reaction too was like she needs to run away as fast as she can. but then, again, is not it like letting someone close to you down... you would not leave your brother or other family member like that... i am just saying, it's tough...

[Пушкарева]

or ... he just wants to get rid of your friend. You have mentioned he'd suddenly turned into that offensive-aggresive behavior, had not he? Think about it. He might have met someone else and needs a rapid relief from the current relationship.

People do not get sick overnight. Sickness gets to its peak progressively . And, if these are drugs, then I do not think there is any room for compassion.

my first reaction too was like she needs to run away as fast as she can. but then, again, is not it like letting someone close to you down... you would not leave your brother or other family member like that... i am just saying, it's tough...

[Sarahjon]

or ... he just wants to get rid of your friend. You have mentioned he'd suddenly turned into that offensive-aggresive behavior, had not he?. Think about it. He might have met someone else and needs a rapid relief from the current relationship.

you have a point.

[Пушкарева]

Sorry if I am being too direct. But such is life. In the end, if she stays with him, that'll be her who suffers.

you have a point.

[PainKiller]

my first reaction too was like she needs to run away as fast as she can. but then, again, is not it like letting someone close to you down... you would not leave your brother or other family member like that... i am just saying, it's tough...
Well, you support your loved ones in their difficult times, but this one is an exception. If that was some sort of mental disorder, he should've been honest about it. He should've let her know and let her decide whether she would like to be in the same boat with him BEFORE she jumped into the boat and took off. If I was that girl, i would've left his ass the same night. if he had some sort of medical/mental problems, A man who loves and respects the lady, let's her know about it, without freaking her out.
I was watchin the Oprah show the other day, and it was about ladies like your friend-who got involved with people who had mental disorders, and could not leave them thinking they need to fight through it, need to work things out. Most of those women did not leave them thinking that leaving them would mean betraying them, so they stayed. It is a normal human reaction, to stay by the side of the person you love then they are in trouble. So the final conclusion was, all of those ladies who stayed got really hurt by their loved men. Some stories were shocking:this lady got stabbed by her husband who had one of his emotional attacks. One lady got tied up to the bed, and "since the voices were tellin the man that she is trying to hurt him" she was not able to leave the house, he abused her for 36 days, cutting her, doing all sorts of sick stuff. You should understand-all these men loved their women at one point. Then they got sick, and when they got sick those were completely different, changed men.
PS. Keeping secrets like that is not a sign of a good man/woman.
PPS. She should leave him ASAP. What if one of these night he attackts her and hurts her badly?

[Factory girl]

Thats the problem with Girls,
Girls like Normal guys, fall in love , because he's acting "fake" and "normal" as you said, later she'll find out that he was acting , he was not normal at all! Girls usually ask "Dont i deserve that ?" Ohh well you Do , but why you need FAKE one!?
Rude[but streight] is better then normal[fake] guy then ;)

Drugs? Leave him! Unless he quits it! Leave him! If he can Quit and then come back to you , then you can accept him! But leave him for now! If he loves/respects or needs you he'll quit and come back to you!

Good lUCk

who's gone by wind?

[Sarahjon]

Thanks a lot everyone. This was really helpful.

[PainKiller]

Thanks a lot everyone. This was really helpful.
Sarahjon, dear
People with mental problems need professional help, and it is not something their family members, friends and boy friends/girls friends can help with. They can help with emotional support, but the person needs to be mature and responsible enough to seek serious, professional counseling. I hope he get's well, but I would really suggest your friend to be very careful, and talk to his counselor about the incident and ask as many questions as she may have and make sure she is not in danger by being with him. Plus, it is a really hard work. People who have that sort of problem live through it and even though they might not like it, people who are close to them suffer as much as they do. Please, remind your friend, that some mental disorders have genetic predisposition. Is she ready to be with that person, and be serious about the relationship, knowing that their future kids(if they will have any) may develop the same sort of desease??
I do not want to sound as a complete ass, but for me it would be a huge dilemma whether to be with him or not if I was her.:?

[Uyyonli]

One of the soldier in my unit had a mental disorders, he went to rahab because, he drinked heavy, he smoked heavy, he had bad mood swings and etc... After rehab he quit drinking, smoking, and he is now complitely happy person, he went to Fort Drum.
When I lost part of my memory after IED stroke my vehice I was sent to Germany, and then back to U.S for medical evaluation. I never had mood swings, or any kind of flashbacks in my life, but parts of my body will be hurting for the rest of my life. I wish I have never agreed with a recruiter.
On the other hand now I can see that life is not easy, for everything there is a challange. So if she loves him she should tel him to go to rehab and try to take some time from these bad habits. But I never understand why these POTHEADS do freaking drugs and say "oh can't quit, blah, blah, blah"
Yes u can QUIT you f@@king PotHead, just dont' do it, even if u die just don't do it!!!