When u're forced to do what u don't want

[Uzbekxonim]

Dear forumers,

what do you do when you are forced to do what you don't wanna do? be it by your boss, your partner, your in-laws, life etc...

do you refuse and don't do that?

or u still do that as u're forced to? then how do you cope with your emotions/feelings?

[yuhakseng]

:proost: and :wedont:


:D

[Mo'jiza]

Agar men yo yaqin odamim uchun kerakli narsa bo'lsa, o'zimni majburlab bo'lsa ham qilaman.
Ham majburlashsa, ham menga/yaqin odamimga foydasiz bo'lsa, qo'lim umuman bormasa kerak, qilmasam ham kerak. Lekin in-laws tomonidan buyurilgan bo'lsa,unda bilmadim. Vaziyatga qarab ish tutaman, IA.

[Vector]

i try to reach a compromise if not then that's faith.

[corsair]

i would go ballistic. harakter chatoq ... :-D

[zlyuka]

терпеть не могу делать что-то против воли!!!!!

сделаю только в исклячительных случаях!
если это необходимо, жизненно-важно, я, стиснув зубы, сделаю.
потом очень быстро об этом забуду, т.к., если об этом думать, начну нервничать. :evil:

сделала - забыла - ничего не было!!!!

[corsair]

your in-laws, life etc...



your in-laws... :-D

i can imagine.
in-law - bu ishni bundoq qiling, man sizga aytvomman, ho'p bo'ladi deganingizni eshitmadim....
me - qizingizni o'zim olib kelib tashiymi, yoki o'zingiz borib olib kelasmi. please leave the keys in a post box...

[supervisor]

Do it otherwise you don't get paid

Say in case of my manager telling me something that I dont want to do. OK it all depends what they want you to do, if it is something which harms your health or something which will result in a bigger Loss than your benefit of remaining with a company then No I would not do that.

If this is just an extra on your everyday responsibilities but you will not get hurt by doing that, than why not? The only problem is it cant be consistently. If he asks me to do the same thing next time I ask him why not others? If he insists than I will send him offf

[Glance]

your in-laws... :-D

i can imagine.
in-law - bu ishni bundoq qiling, man sizga aytvomman, ho'p bo'ladi deganingizni eshitmadim....
me - qizingizni o'zim olib kelib tashiymi, yoki o'zingiz borib olib kelasmi. please leave the keys in a post box...

Ehaa..shunaqa din..in-law'iz nimadur desa darrov qiz bechora otlanarkan-de uyiga, weh tovba..:rolleyes: :)

Agar men hohlamagan ishimni qilishni aytsalar, agar o'sha ish haqiqatda to'g'ri qaror bo'lsa, dinimizga, moral qoidalarga zid kelmasa o'zim hohlamasam ham qilaman albatta. Lekin bir aybim bor, hohlamagan ishimmi hot' ubey qimiman. Yoki shuni qilishga majburlash odat-da aj janjal bilan amalga oshiriladi :lol: Tan olish jarayoni-de bu tipa.. :D 'In-law'lada unaqa qimasam keregov, corsair etgande sekin qo'limga tugunimmi tutqizishmasin, "Qizim, hooou ana eshik" deb.

[Uzbekxonim]

some info on relevant topic...

•Учитесь воспринимать само давление обстоятельств, удары судьбы и отрицательное отношение к себе со стороны других не как бессмысленный злой рок, но как живую игру энергий, временное сгущение токов, которое призвано сделать вас сильнее, чему-то научить.

Если вам приходится отвечать на давление и агрессию, старайтесь наполнить свой ответ энергией терпения. Это предполагает, что вы умеете извлекать из глубин организма и психики собственные внутренние ресурсы и скрытые силы. Если человек не умеет подключаться к этим силам и заново подзаряжать себя в случае психического истощения, то он не сумеет быть по-настоящему терпеливым.

•Терпение = цельность.
Подлинное терпение - это принятие мира целиком, со всеми его плюсами и минусами. Оно предполагает умение человека противостоять давлению, не допуская внутри себя стойких отрицательных эмоций по отношению к внешнему раздражителю. Истинное терпение всегда основано на любви, на его сильных и чистых токах. Его девиз - не казаться, как это присуще терпению внешнему, но быть спокойным и доброжелательным изнутри, что бы ни происходило.

[Shambles]

S godami mudreyu i terpelivo vyslushivayu, a zatem pytayus' nayti kompormiss sovmestnimi putyami... Inogda poluchayetsya, inogda net, no, v-tselom, rezul'tat luchshe togo, chem byl ranee...

P.S. A ran'she byl ballistic, kak Lelik!!!:lol:

[Queen]

One will have to do something he/she does not want, when there is bigger reward waiting for him/her in future. he will keep doing what he does not want as long as he knows this force is temporary. So patience and hope for better life is what keeps that person in that unpleasant situation.

[UzLand]

Uzbekxonim, вы наверное имели ввиду за исключением того случая, который описывается последним интервьюером в этом репортаже

http://www.voanews.com/mediaassets/uzbek/2007_12/Audio/wma/torture.wma

[Demir Kağan]

Depends on who's that person.

Nobody in this world can make me do anything I don't want except my fionce, future wife.

[melo]

Depends on who's that person.

Nobody in this world can make me do anything I don't want except my fionce, future wife.

Don't let a girl push you around. :lol:

[Maroon]

I think it depends on the situation. I guess sometimes, we need to go and make compromises because in the long run it is for the best.

My only advise would be: do not force yourself to do things if your heart says there is another way.

[Пушкарева]

If I am forced, I just do not do that.

Dear forumers,

what do you do when you are forced to do what you don't wanna do? be it by your boss, your partner, your in-laws, life etc...

do you refuse and don't do that?

or u still do that as u're forced to? then how do you cope with your emotions/feelings?

[Octavarium]

I think, in a regular life of a regular person, there are very few instances when we are genuinely forced to do something. On the other hand, there are a lot of instances when a person simply prefers to think that somebody or something forced him/her to act the way he or she did and mostly, people do it to justify their weakness. E.g., a guy marries a girl who was preselected without any of his participation by his parents, he doesn’t have any feelings towards a girl and he doesn’t even want to marry the girl, but he still marries a girl because his parents want him to marry that girl. Then, he bitches around about his married life, saying that he was forced to get married to a girl who he literally loathes. The question is: was he really forced into that marriage or he preferred to be forced into that marriage to avoid responsibility for success of married life? People do that a lot of time: when it comes to personal choices or any decisions, they like to justify their decisions by saying that they were forced, but in most instances it’s not true. It’s your choice, it’s your life, you are responsible for your life and therefore, you have to make decisions. People like to be present themselves as victims of circumstances, but the truth is that objective reality is always going to be there and its your choice to either be a victim of circumstances or say to yourself, no, I am in command, I’ll do what I think is right and I’ll be responsible for what I am doing now. Seriously, I really think that “I did it because I was forced to do it” is the lamest excuse ever.

[Awesome-O]

Forcing won't work. Like a kinetic energy it will counter-react with the force applied, one way or another. Keeping it inside won't work either, it'll just boil up the anger. I think you need to stand up and deal with it, once and for all.

[Maroon]

Forcing won't work. Like a kinetic energy it will counter-react with the force applied, one way or another. Keeping it inside won't work either, it'll just boil up the anger. I think you need to stand up and deal with it, once and for all.

Forcing does work depending on the situation, doesn't it?

For example, a person's daughter is kidnapped and he was told by the kidnappers that he should go and rob a bank or his daughter will be killed. Obviously, he is forced to do that or his daughter will be killed. Better to be in jail than having a kid dead.

I know, a bit lame of an example.

But I do agree that a person always has choice when it comes to confrontations with your partner, in-laws, parents, boss and etc.

I think we need to know the difference between compromise and force.

[Пушкарева]

Horosho skazal, molodec. Tolko zabil razbit na paragrafi, kak mi kogda-to dogovarivalis :) (jk)

I think, in a regular life of a regular person, there are very few instances when we are genuinely forced to do something.

On the other hand, there are a lot of instances when a person simply prefers to think that somebody or something forced him/her to act the way he or she did and mostly, people do it to justify their weakness. E.g., a guy marries a girl who was preselected without any of his participation by his parents, he doesn’t have any feelings towards a girl and he doesn’t even want to marry the girl, but he still marries a girl because his parents want him to marry that girl. Then, he bitches around about his married life, saying that he was forced to get married to a girl who he literally loathes.

The question is: was he really forced into that marriage or he preferred to be forced into that marriage to avoid responsibility for success of married life? People do that a lot of time: when it comes to personal choices or any decisions, they like to justify their decisions by saying that they were forced, but in most instances it’s not true. It’s your choice, it’s your life, you are responsible for your life and therefore, you have to make decisions.

People like to be present themselves as victims of circumstances, but the truth is that objective reality is always going to be there and its your choice to either be a victim of circumstances or say to yourself, no, I am in command, I’ll do what I think is right and I’ll be responsible for what I am doing now. Seriously, I really think that “I did it because I was forced to do it” is the lamest excuse ever.

[Unique]

I think I'm forced by my family (that's what I think like Octavarium said but I can't change it.) I mean I have no total freedom of choice. And yes, it's very hard.

[Пушкарева]

Unique, frankly, I too (as Octavarium) do not buy the "I can't do anything, my family forces me" excuse. Of course you are capable of doing smth :w00t:. Who if not yourself?!

One simple example (as I understand your case is marriage against will) is to: (1) tell the guy you are not gonna marry him (you simply do not want to), (2) notify your parents and the guy that if they still do that, you just do not show up that very day, and (3) if the wedding is set up anyways, just fulfill what you've said. What's the problem? It would be their fault and they bear the expenses of all the arrangements! Fine. You just leave a day before wedding to your friend's place, or move to the hotel for 2-3 days, or smth else.

Once upon a time, my mom and dad joked "q'o'l-oyoq'izzi boylab bervoramiz" and I very seriously told them the very thing. And still free I am :D


I think I'm forced by my family (that's what I think like Octavarium said but I can't change it.) I mean I have no total freedom of choice. And yes, it's very hard.

[corsair]

Ehaa..shunaqa din..in-law'iz nimadur desa darrov qiz bechora otlanarkan-de uyiga, weh tovba..:rolleyes: :)

Agar men hohlamagan ishimni qilishni aytsalar, agar o'sha ish haqiqatda to'g'ri qaror bo'lsa, dinimizga, moral qoidalarga zid kelmasa o'zim hohlamasam ham qilaman albatta. Lekin bir aybim bor, hohlamagan ishimmi hot' ubey qimiman. Yoki shuni qilishga majburlash odat-da aj janjal bilan amalga oshiriladi :lol: Tan olish jarayoni-de bu tipa.. :D 'In-law'lada unaqa qimasam keregov, corsair etgande sekin qo'limga tugunimmi tutqizishmasin, "Qizim, hooou ana eshik" deb.

ha endi menga in-law faqat qizi bilan bog'liq buladi halosda. bir hilgi in-law lar vAshe boshga chiqib oladigan bo'ladi... osmonga chiqib olganlar pastga supersonic bulib qaytib tushib qolishlarini esdan chiqarmasliklari kerakda...

PS: corsair etgande sekin qo'limga tugunimmi tutqizishmasin....:lol:
ohirgi marta tugun ko'targan odamni uzbda 3-4 yil oldin ko'rgan edim. :-D

[Uzbekxonim]

Uzbekxonim, вы наверное имели ввиду за исключением того случая, который описывается последним интервьюером в этом репортаже

http://www.voanews.com/mediaassets/uzbek/2007_12/Audio/wma/torture.wma

good way of indirect forcing people to listen to the interview :lol:
sluchai biavyut raznie ...;)

[Uzbekxonim]

I think, in a regular life of a regular person, there are very few instances when we are genuinely forced to do something. On the other hand, there are a lot of instances when a person simply prefers to think that somebody or something forced him/her to act the way he or she did and mostly, people do it to justify their weakness. E.g., a guy marries a girl who was preselected without any of his participation by his parents, he doesn’t have any feelings towards a girl and he doesn’t even want to marry the girl, but he still marries a girl because his parents want him to marry that girl. Then, he bitches around about his married life, saying that he was forced to get married to a girl who he literally loathes. The question is: was he really forced into that marriage or he preferred to be forced into that marriage to avoid responsibility for success of married life? People do that a lot of time: when it comes to personal choices or any decisions, they like to justify their decisions by saying that they were forced, but in most instances it’s not true. It’s your choice, it’s your life, you are responsible for your life and therefore, you have to make decisions. People like to be present themselves as victims of circumstances, but the truth is that objective reality is always going to be there and its your choice to either be a victim of circumstances or say to yourself, no, I am in command, I’ll do what I think is right and I’ll be responsible for what I am doing now. Seriously, I really think that “I did it because I was forced to do it” is the lamest excuse ever.

interesting ideas. do u think the same can be applied in this case: if your boss wants you to implement the project, which u think that it is not gonna work. all your explanations are not accepted 'cos there is smb behide lobbing for it. And your job describtion says "... performing other tasks given by superviser" ?

[Demir Kağan]

There is no solution where there is no freedom.

[Awesome-O]

Well, I did assume that when an author spoke about forcing, she didn't actually mean being forced under the threat of an imminent and violent death. Desperate situations, require desperate measures, so if we assume a full spectrum of conditions where a violent death is a lingering possibility, then yes, a forcing will work, and this goes without saying.

Forcing does work depending on the situation, doesn't it?

For example, a person's daughter is kidnapped and he was told by the kidnappers that he should go and rob a bank or his daughter will be killed. Obviously, he is forced to do that or his daughter will be killed. Better to be in jail than having a kid dead.

I know, a bit lame of an example.

But I do agree that a person always has choice when it comes to confrontations with your partner, in-laws, parents, boss and etc.

I think we need to know the difference between compromise and force.