And they call us weak !?

[Пушкарева]

Totally amazed with that young woman. Huge respect to her power of will and overall personality.



Uzbek immigrant

I was born and raised in Uzbekistan. Most people I knew there were making between $50 and $200 a month. However, our standard of living was very good. I just graduated from college with Master's Degree when I met my husband who was a charming American. When we got married and moved to U.S., I discovered that my husband had some serious financial issues - he used my brand new credit history to apply for various business and personal loans, over $250,000 total, which he never repaid, was shopping every day for gadgets and frivolous things and spending lots of money without having any savings. Less than two years into my being in U.S. I had to declare bankruptcy (without even fully understanding what it was). We had a baby boy and I staid home.

Eventually, I went to law school, while also working in the restaurants, which was an ordeal since I turned out to be the clumsiest waitress in the history of the modern world. I remember carrying a tray full of crab legs, potatoes and lobsters and thinking how my 5' 100 lbs body was not properly designed for this. I also worked in the Chinese restaurant without understanding a word, and other waiters often laughed at me (whole-heartedly so), when I tried to pronounce the names of the dishes. I also worked as a telemarketer and cemetery sales person trainee (!). I was awful at both. My mother left her high-paying job and her family in Uzbekistan and moved in with us to take care of my son. She was horrified by the conditions I was living in, but I never questioned my husband (cultural thing).

My husband's philosophy was - you can never save enough money, so the best way to do it is to earn more. Needless to say, he did neither. Also, he spent everything I earned on shopping. Once he spent the money I saved from my tips for the return ticket for my 1 y.o. son who was visiting Uzbekistan with my mother. I was devastated. However, I increased my hours at the restaurant, took the shifts no one else wanted, and saved enough money for their return. Eventually I was fired because I couldn't keep up with all the tables I took out of desperation. I spent hours at night at the law school library after classes and work, studying my way to top 10% of my class. Throughout my law school I had a chipped front tooth (!) which I couldn't repair because of lack of insurance and money.

Sometimes things were so bad that we had no money on baby formula and I had to get it from the food banks. I wore used clothes which is completely against my culture. However, he insisted on living in "prestigious" neighborhoods and driving expensive cars. All of our money went to rent and car payments. He also insisted that since babies don't understand anything, it's ok to buy all the used stuff for them. My son had used everything - carriage, clothes, blankets. I am still upset over this.

Once I graduated from law school and passed the bar I became an attorney. I became more assertive about the finances and insisted we moved to a tiny apartment downtown Woodbury, NJ where I worked as a judicial clerk. Initially he complained that he doesn't want to live "like an immigrant" and that he needs more privacy. However, I insisted on that. I was walking to work and keeping the budget for groceries and everything else. I still did not know anything about finances and could barely use an ATM. After finishing my clerkship, I remember receiving a statement about having $1000 in my 401K. I showed it to my husband asking what should we do with it? He said: cash it. So I did.

Why did I not leave my husband? Because of the Uzbek (read Eastern) culture. The more American I became, the more it was obvious that I should leave him. While I was working long hours as a litigation attorney, he staid home after another failed "business" and called me at work 10 times a day asking why we did not have money in our bank account. I had to log into the online bank account and explain him all the charges that he caused by shopping at the Comp USA, Home Depot, thrift shops, Costco, Wal-Mart, etc. One year ago I left him. The decision was accelerated by my father moving to U.S. and instantly being appalled with my husband's behavior.

I started studying the personal finances, mostly on the web and at Barnes & Nobles. I maxed out my 401K (PRNEX, TRSGX, RPMGX) and IRA (VEIEX & VTSGX), invest in DRIPs (MO, PG, INTC, BAC, KFT, XOM), and saved nearly $60,000. I plan on saving $2,000,000 in 15 years. Of course, I make a lot more money than I ever imagined and more money a year than my friends in Uzbekistan will make in their entire life (result of long hours, hard work and multiple salary negotiations sessions). However, I live in a small apartment with cheap rent which belongs to the City, drive a 10 year old car, not interested in shopping, send my son to a public school (despite a huge pressure from my colleagues and friends to send him to private school), automatically deduct the investments before other expenses, and if anything is left over at the end of the month, I invest it, too.

My only indulgences are travel and various activities and toys for my son. I also spend money on health and dental insurance for my family, life and disability insurance, car insurance, and 529 for my son. I don't want my family to ever go through the bottom the way I did. We now have a security of our investments and emergency fund. Unlike most of my friends, I resist the urge to buy real estate (which is overpriced here) or lease a luxury car. However, I feel happy and secure. The only legacy left from my ex is: me occasionally shopping for clothes in second-hand stores (I'm sure i saved thousands of dollars that way, but I am considered stylish and polished by everyone ) and my ruined credit which forces me to pay cash for everything (which is actually good). I am also dating a great guy (and teaching him about finances ).

I never told my story to anyone, even my closest friends. My childhood friends would never believe it, since I grew up in a wealthy and educated family. However, the way I always say it to my mom: the first generation of immigrants always have it rough, but on their shoulders the next generations prosper. I certainly hope this will be true for my son.

[Пушкарева]

Her follow up comment:

- I am only 29 but feel old and wise because of everything i've been through. my friends are saying i look the same way i did when i left Uzbekistan 8 years ago, so that makes me feel better;

So do I. My mom begs me getting back to my previous stance: being all childish and nice and cute and silly. Which is hard, once you coped with the life challenges all alone. If you did so and went through that hardshell, you grow. Grow mentally, emotionally, and behavior- and look-wise.*

______________
* i.e. glance

[Samimiy]

Great inspirational story.

It's also a cautionary tale for young women: be careful about "falling in love with charming westerners".

She seems to be from an educated family, which must have made it easier to to pursue her education. People like this make us proud!

[abcd]

Yes indeed her story is very indeed and as one user noted she is a great role model. It is very important for people to be on top of personal finance. I partially manage my wife's and mother's personal brokerage accounts. I of course try to involve my wife as much as possible.

Just in case if anybody wondering about the terms that she used.
(PRNEX, TRSGX, RPMGX) and IRA (VEIEX & VTSGX), invest in DRIPs (MO, PG, INTC, BAC, KFT, XOM)
Those 5 letters ending with X are mutual funds. 2,3,4 are stock symbols. and DRIP stands for Dividend Reinvestment Plan. Which means whenever your stock pays dividend you can reinvest it to the same stock.

I urge every female user, even though your personal finance is managed by somebody to learn more and be more independent.

[Пушкарева]

Any basic (very basic) manual? FOr those who has no clue in finance, but needs learning.

Yes indeed her story is very indeed and as one user noted she is a great role model. It is very important for people to be on top of personal finance. I partially manage my wife's and mother's personal brokerage accounts. I of course try to involve my wife as much as possible.

Just in case if anybody wondering about the terms that she used.

Those 5 letters ending with X are mutual funds. 2,3,4 are stock symbols. and DRIP stands for Dividend Reinvestment Plan. Which means whenever your stock pays dividend you can reinvest it to the same stock.

I urge every female user, even though your personal finance is managed by somebody to learn more and be more independent.

[abcd]

Amazon.com: Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny: Books: Suze Orman

This is the book that specifically written for the women by the women. The author of this book is Suzy Orman and she hosts a tv show on CNBC. This is great book and actually it was the reason why I persuaded women in my family to open a brokerage account. The reason I know this book is our company teamed up with Suzy and we offer specific savings account.

[abcd]

Here is the user review about the book. Rather long but informative.


Suze Orman is right on track with this overdue, and badly needed book directly aimed at women who in Suze's words are dysfunctional about MONEY. The same ladies that can earn doctorate degrees in esoteric subjects just shut their eyes when it comes to money. Although Suze takes shots at what the reasons might be behind this behavior, whether it's upbringing, cultural, or anything else, it doesn't really matter.


What matters to Suze is DEALING WITH THE PROBLEM, and does she deal with it. In this entertaining, easily read book, Suze will teach you to EXECUTE SOLUTIONS to your money problems. I have to tell you, after spending 35 years in the money business myself, this best-selling author is spot on accurate - it's about EXECUTING. It's no longer about thinking about your money issues; it's about DOING SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR MONEY ISSUES.


The author explains precisely what it is you have to do, and she does it in a motivational way, without laying blame or shame on the reader. This is a crucial point. Women and men for that matter feel bad enough about the financial position they may have placed themselves in. It's the old concept of should have, could have, would have coming home to haunt us. I should have done that. I could have done this. I would have done that.


Jettison the blame, and get out of that game. You need to get a grip on yourself and follow Suze's moves. They are well thought out. Here are a few to take a look at.


1) You need an account of your own. Ladies whether you are married, divorced, single, or widowed, you need an account in your name, that you can call your very own.


2) To do this Suze has arranged with TD AMERITRADE, the online brokerage firm that if you fund an account with 12 monthly consecutive automatic electronic deposits of $50 or more, in the 13th month the brokerage firm will deposit $100 in your account as a gift, and an incentive to open the account. Although it's not in the book, the reason why the firm would do this is because on average it cost the firm $200 in advertising to secure an account. It's actually a good deal for them, and a better deal for you, because it will get you started. You save $600 over a year, and they add a $100. Ladies - GO FOR IT. Even if your husband is the President of the bank, get an account in your own name.


3) The heart piece of the book is a five-month plan that gets you back in control of your financial destiny. Yes, we both know the real question is what were you thinking when you allowed yourself to get out of control, but that really doesn't matter. What matters is today FORWARD, not looking BACKWARD. In this five-month plan Suze gives you the KEY TASKS that you have to get done. It's a number of things, and not fifty things. The key here, and it's not quite hitting you in the face is to CLOSE ON SOMETHING. This is crucial. Don't do eight things at once, and a little bit of each thing. You need desperately to bring things to closure. Get one thing FINISHED, COMPLETED, PUT TO BED, and then move on.


4) "Learn to say NO to people". Suze's right on this one. You have to put YOU first. Think about it, for many of us, there are many others who are counting on us. Women especially since they are nurturing by instinct, tend to put themselves second to the people they take care of. Here's what you have to get into your soul. Unless YOU ARE OKAY, you are not going to be here, to help everyone else be okay. Think of what they tell you to on the airplane in an emergency when the air masks drop down. You put the mask on your mouth first, and then you put a second one on the child's mouth. You have to be okay for everyone else to be okay. It's not selfish; it's what you need to do.


5) Make sure you read the "You are not on sale" chapter. Many women tend to under price their services, and also allow themselves to be paid a lesser salary for equivalent work done by a male. You need to get out of this loop, and quick. Suze shows you how.


6) Suze's advice on credit cards is completely accurate. If you are going to win in a system that is stacked against you, than you must learn the rules in order to know how to work the system. As an example once a credit card is open, never shut it down because creditors like to see long-term open lines of credit. This is the type of information, you will figure out on your own.



In conclusion, this is a FABULOUS book for you to get back on track, and in control of YOUR OWN LIFE FINANCIALLY. Women have just as much brainpower as men. It is inexcusable that many find themselves in the position they are currently in, but understandable too. After all what courses are given while growing up in managing money. They don't give us a course in human relationships or marriage either; maybe that's why the divorce rate is 50%. If we don't learn what we need to learn in school or from our mentors, than we have to learn it on our own - Suze is a good place to start, and GOOD LUCK.


Richard Stoyeck

[melo]

Great inspirational story.

It's also a cautionary tale for young women: be careful about "falling in love with charming westerners".

She seems to be from an educated family, which must have made it easier to to pursue her education. People like this make us proud!

No, it is a cautionary tale about marrying a total loser. :? I don't understand how someone can get married without having any idea about the person they are marrying. :rolleyes:

Also Nezabudka, anyone who considers women weak are morons anyways. ;)

[Samimiy]

No, it is a cautionary tale about marrying a total loser. :? I don't understand how someone can get married without having any idea about the person they are marrying. :rolleyes:


That's part of the problem. Somehow, women from poor countries seem to think that if the guy is American or European, he must be a prince or a millionaire! As if there are no losers in America :)

[Demir Kağan]

No, it is a cautionary tale about marrying a total loser. :? I don't understand how someone can get married without having any idea about the person they are marrying. :rolleyes:

Also Nezabudka, anyone who considers women weak are morons anyways. ;)

I agree with melo but the circumstances man, circumstances..

[uzbekcfa2]

wow...she is persistent. Best of luck in her life!

[gulamus]

I am a little not clear what she meant by "uzbek mentality" and that it was the reason she could not leave him... That she was "tishni tishga qoyib, sabr qivoman" has different rationale behind it. Probably she was smart enough to get his citizenship, and then to divorce... Otherwise, a woman being from educated family, which is rich enough, would not allow such a stupid behavior from the husband side.
regards
GA

[uzbekcfa2]

I am a little not clear what she meant by "uzbek mentality" and that it was the reason she could not leave him... That she was "tishni tishga qoyib, sabr qivoman" has different rationale behind it. Probably she was smart enough to get his citizenship, and then to divorce... Otherwise, a woman being from educated family, which is rich enough, would not allow such a stupid behavior from the husband side.
regards
GA

she's been living with him for 9 years or so? if citizenship would be her main concern, she must have got it much earlier and would've kicked his ass out of her house a long time ago, if she wanted. so what you are saying doesnt make a sense.

[gulamus]

dude if you are married it takes 5 years to apply or get the citizenship, right?
How do you know when did she start the documentations?

[melo]

dude if you are married it takes 5 years to apply or get the citizenship, right?
How do you know when did she start the documentations?

Let's assume she is not scummy enough to marry just for American citizenship. :rolleyes:

[melo]

That's part of the problem. Somehow, women from poor countries seem to think that if the guy is American or European, he must be a prince or a millionaire! As if there are no losers in America :)

Well I certainly am neither a prince nor a millionaire. :lol: I am closer to your last comment. :lol:

[uzbekcfa2]

dude if you are married it takes 5 years to apply or get the citizenship, right?
How do you know when did she start the documentations?

Gulamus,

9-5=4...so four years she was just playing around without filing documenst with immigration?

if you are very interested, why dont you ask her directly...nezabudka left a link above where she posted this.

[gulamus]

Well, I am not saying she married for that reasons... I think my assumption is she, might have married with LOVE, but later it was hard for her and she could not leave him without good grounds in US
GA

[Samimiy]

I am a little not clear what she meant by "uzbek mentality" and that it was the reason she could not leave him... That she was "tishni tishga qoyib, sabr qivoman" has different rationale behind it. Probably she was smart enough to get his citizenship, and then to divorce... Otherwise, a woman being from educated family, which is rich enough, would not allow such a stupid behavior from the husband side.
regards
GA

I think she was hesitant about leaving him for a while, even though he was less than an ideal husband. His main problem was that he didn't know how to manage money. That in itself is not necessarily a reason enough for a divorce. Especially for someone who comes from our culture. Maybe they had genuine feelings for each other. You have to consider that divorce is a huge deal. Not just for her, but for her child as well. Depriving the child of his father without enough justification is not fair.

I think her post makes it clear that the main reason that she left her husband is that her parents (particularly her father) insisted. They couldn't see her humiliate herself like that. Maybe when her parents were not around, she put up with everything for the sake of the child. I don't think citizenship has anything to do with it.

[Maroon]

Nice story but I do not understand why her child goes to a public school? She has the money and she knows public schools are not very good in the US, so why?

[melo]

Nice story but I do not understand why she wants her child goes to a public school? She has the money and she knows Public Schools are not very good in the US, so why?

Education is about effort, not about the school. ;) Paying lots of money does not mean a student will receive a better education.

[uzbekcfa2]

Nice story but I do not understand why she wants her child goes to a public school? She has the money and she knows Public Schools are not very good in the US, so why?


private schools are very expensive in US. Some private high schools in NY area cost the same as harvard or other top universities. Most people go to public school and still score high on SATs and get into top colleges or universities.

[gulamus]

I think she was hesitant about leaving him for a while, even though he was less than an ideal husband. His main problem was that he didn't know how to manage money. That in itself is not necessarily a reason enough for a divorce. Especially for someone who comes from our culture. Maybe they had genuine feelings for each other. You have to consider that divorce is a huge deal. Not just for her, but for her child as well. Depriving the child of his father without enough justification is not fair.

I think her post makes it clear that the main reason that she left her husband is that her parents (particularly her father) insisted. They couldn't see her humiliate herself like that. Maybe when her parents were not around, she put up with everything for the sake of the child. I don't think citizenship has anything to do with it.

I understand that... I was just contemplating... I am not accusing her or anything... I admire her strength... The only thing is how far one can suffer, or live in such an emotional dissatisfaction... It is hard for me, maybe, to admit that one can suffer that much.. and say nothing by continuing to live with the person...
However, I shell admit your reasoning is pretty good, if we are looking at the issue from good wife, good Uzbek mentality, amazing love relationship point of view
regards
GA

[Samimiy]

Nice story but I do not understand why she wants her child goes to a public school? She has the money and she knows Public Schools are not very good in the US, so why?

It's also puzzling to me. I think it's just inertia. She has been frugal for so long that she has a hard time kicking the habit. Especially the part about shopping for second-hand clothes? :shock:

But the part about public schools may not be so unjustifiable. Some public schools are excellent, not worse than private schools. Don't know about the school she's sending her son to, though.

Overall, her goal seems to become rich, regardless of the means. This is a curious objective in my opinion. She has become a real american in this sense :) I mean, shouldn't she goal to be able to enjoy some of the income you earn? i think since she went thru a lot of financial hardship, she seems to have some kind of complex: to accumulate as much money as she can.

[SmIlIk]

It's also puzzling to me. I think it's just inertia. She has been frugal for so long that she has a hard time kicking the habit. Especially the part about shopping for second-hand clothes? :shock:

But the part about public schools may not be so unjustifiable. Some public schools are excellent, not worse than private schools. Don't know about the school she's sending her son to, though.

Overall, her goal seems to become rich, regardless of the means. This is a curious objective in my opinion. She has become a real american in this sense :) I mean, shouldn't she goal to be able to enjoy some of the income you earn? i think since she went thru a lot of financial hardship, she seems to have some kind of complex: to accumulate as much money as she can.

Maybe she is saving for her son's higher education. Since, she is talking about making sure that her son will not go through her painfull experience, that's the impression I got.

[melo]

It's also puzzling to me. I think it's just inertia. She has been frugal for so long that she has a hard time kicking the habit. Especially the part about shopping for second-hand clothes? :shock:

But the part about public schools may not be so unjustifiable. Some public schools are excellent, not worse than private schools. Don't know about the school she's sending her son to, though.

Overall, her goal seems to become rich, regardless of the means. This is a curious objective in my opinion. She has become a real american in this sense :) I mean, shouldn't she goal to be able to enjoy some of the income you earn? i think since she went thru a lot of financial hardship, she seems to have some kind of complex: to accumulate as much money as she can.

I would agree that the one focus of the article is money throughout.

I also don't see whay anyone is confused why divorce was such a difficult decision. I don't believe i need to talk about the idea of marriage here, but generally it is considered a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Family is family, right?

[melo]

Maybe she is saving for her son's higher education. Since, she is talking about making sure that her son will not go through her painfull experience, that's the impression I got.


Did anyone else notice all her problems started when she moved to the US? :lol: When we talk about making sure her son does not have the same painful life, it seems her life was great until after she graduated and moved to the US. Can you really protect your son after they graduate from college?

[SmIlIk]

Did anyone else notice all her problems started hwen she moved to the US? :lol: When we talk about making sure her son does not have the same painful life, it seems her life was great until after she graduated and moved to the US. Can you really protect your son after they graduate from college?

At least you can provide them with better education. Maybe not in high school (which makes a little less sense to me) but in College. Or Maybe she wants her son to see that life is not all about chic but there are hardships a person might face. Maybe she doesn't want her son to get used to wealthy life.

[Maroon]

I am sure she is saving for her son's college, I mean it is wise thing to do, but from the article I have got an impression that she just does not want to spend money on the private school.

[crescent]

Wow! :shock: What a strong will she has. I wish I were that strong.

[Royal]

buni hayot dip qoyiptilar...

shu holga tushishdan hudo ozi salqasin hammani , lekin tushmaguncha hamma har narsa dip bibilliyvuradi....

[dauphin]

I am convinced that she (I don't know her at all) is clearly lying. At least some points she is exaggerating. There is no bank in US that gives 250,000 credit or loan for brand new credit. In order to get so much credit or loan you must maintain excellent credit for at least 4 years. Most banks give only around $300 for applicants with no credit history. Now do the math how many times her husband applied for credit or loan to make $250,000?

[zumrad]

nezabudka :rolleyes: ti eyo znaesh , otkuda eto stat'ya?
Chtoto neponyatno u neyo kniga ili chtoto drugoe?

Prosto ya chitala rasskazi russkih immigrantov, no uzbekskix vpervie...
Est kakoyto istochnik ob uzbekskix immigrantax?

[Пушкарева]

Privet. Net, ya yeyo ne znayu. Hotya hotela bi poznakomitsya s takim silnim chelovekom. Sluchayno natknulas na post v odnom forume.


nezabudka :rolleyes: ti eyo znaesh , otkuda eto stat'ya?
Chtoto neponyatno u neyo kniga ili chtoto drugoe?

Prosto ya chitala rasskazi russkih immigrantov, no uzbekskix vpervie...
Est kakoyto istochnik ob uzbekskix immigrantax?

[Ma'ruf]

Privet. Net, ya yeyo ne znayu. Hotya hotela bi poznakomitsya s takim silnim chelovekom. Sluchayno natknulas na post v odnom forume.

O'sha forumga to'g'ridan-to'g'ri link bera olasizmi?

[Пушкарева]

BOshida qoygandim. Keyin odamla oshatga borishgandek boilishdi. Keyin man ozimmi bad sezdim, a balki osha qiz hohlamasdi hamma ozbeyla uni story-sini eshitsin, discuss qilib otirishsin deb. A balki kimdir borib (uzbeladan), u-bu narsa yozar, diliga teyib ketadigan deb oyladim. Va ohiri olib tashadim linkni.

Balki u faqat kichkina bitta auditoriya uchun yozgandir. Man sluchayno topvoldim. More or less privacy-sini buzdim. Oldin story-sini ham olib tashi degandim, keyin esa, yoq, odamla ko'rishsin qanaqa qizla borligini deb qoldirdim. Ozbek qizla qanaqa bola olishini kopchilik bilishini hohladim. Qanchalik kuchli, sabr-toqatli, yolqiz o'zi shunchalik qiyinchiliklardan o'tgani - bu boshqalaga bitta-bir perfect example. Bundan tashqari esa, nafaqat farzandini, balki har-doim ota-onasi haqida qayqurganligi, va shuncha naras orasida, ishlab, oson bo'magan programmaladan birida o'qigani - shu fazilarlari mani unga cheksiz hurmatim va applause-larimmi engdi.

In short - kechirasiz, linkini ochivordim, saqlamasdan.


O'sha forumga to'g'ridan-to'g'ri link bera olasizmi?

[dauphin]

I was right, it is just a scam to promote that website. Here (http://www.getrichslowly.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=782&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=) is the website where you can find the original story. If you read her post after that story she said she is 29 y.o. and left Uzbekistan 8 years ago. In the story she said that when she met her "charming American she was just graduated from a college with master's degree. Now do math one more time when she left Uzbekistan she was 21 y.o??? She must be one of those geniuses to get master's degree before 21. Because no American marries to any girl not dating at least a year.

I do believe Uzbek girls are strong but that girl is lying. :)

[Darvesh]

Aytsam tilim,aytmasam dilim kuyadi:). Agarda shu qiz zamonamizning o'zbek ayollariga "role model" sifatida taqdim qilinayotgan bo'lsa, jamiyatimiz teg-tegidan chiribdi,sohta ideallar orqasidan ergashayabmiz.

P.s. Imho, bunday "success story"lar Islom olami kasal ekanligidan dalolat bersa kerak.

[alpum]

Aytsam tilim,aytmasam dilim kuyadi:). Agarda shu qiz zamonamizning o'zbek ayollariga "role model" sifatida taqdim qilinayotgan bo'lsa, jamiyatimiz teg-tegidan chiribdi,sohta ideallar orqasidan ergashayabmiz.

Darvesh!!! Bravo!!!

Фикрингизга кушиламан.

Я так и не понял что хорошего в этой Америке) мне уже 30 лет - но в отличие от своих друзей и знакомых я не болею этой Америкоманией.

И если мне принесут эту Грин карту - я откажусь. мне не зачем туда ехать? что там я потерял?

Обьясните девушки что вы там находите? терьпя столько унижений и трудностей?

[crescent]

I was right, it is just a scam to promote that website. Here (http://www.getrichslowly.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=782&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=) is the website where you can find the original story. If you read her post after that story she said she is 29 y.o. and left Uzbekistan 8 years ago. In the story she said that when she met her "charming American she was just graduated from a college with master's degree. Now do math one more time when she left Uzbekistan she was 21 y.o??? She must be one of those geniuses to get master's degree before 21. Because no American marries to any girl not dating at least a year.

I do believe Uzbek girls are strong but that girl is lying. :)

I wouldn't say that getting master degree before 21 has smth to do with being genius. It's just matter of hard work and ofcourse not-stupidness. I got my bachelor degree when i was 18 and could get my masters at 19 if i stayed at home instead of coming to UK. And I do not consider myself being even half a genius at all.
So she does not necessarily need to be lying.

[dauphin]

I wouldn't say that getting master degree before 21 has smth to do with being genius. It's just matter of hard work and ofcourse not-stupidness. I got my bachelor degree when i was 18 and could get my masters at 19 if i stayed at home instead of coming to UK. And I do not consider myself being even half a genius at all.
So she does not necessarily need to be lying.

What??? 18???:shock: You have got to be kidding me!!! What was your major culinary or something? :lol:

I very wanted to use "wunderkind" I don't know why I wrote "genius" up there.

[crescent]

What??? 18???:shock: You have got to be kidding me!!! What was your major culinary or something? :lol:

I very wanted to use "wunderkind" I don't know why I wrote "genius" up there.

I studied banking in TFI

[Пушкарева]

Trudnosti - da, no ne unizheniya. Amerikoy nikto ne boleet. Zdes poluchayut obrazovaniye, rabotayut ili je zhivut semyami.

Darvesh!!! Bravo!!!
Обьясните девушки что вы там находите? терьпя столько унижений и трудностей?

[Royal]

И если мне принесут эту Грин карту - я откажусь. мне не зачем туда ехать? что там я потерял?


Odamlar yoqotganini qidirvotgani yoq, lekin topolmiyotganlarini topishga qiziqishadi...buni aybi yoq....shunchalar UZBdan tashiymiz devotgani yoq, UZBga oboramiz dip harakatda...buniyam farqi bor.
Обьясните девушки что вы там находите? терьпя столько унижений и трудностей?
bunaqa hol UZBda yoki boshqa joyda yoq degan odam bomasa kerak....

[melo]

Because no American marries to any girl not dating at least a year.


Is that a law or something? :shock: :lol: I was not aware of that.

[alpum]

Odamlar yoqotganini qidirvotgani yoq, lekin topolmiyotganlarini topishga qiziqishadi...buni aybi yoq....shunchalar UZBdan tashiymiz devotgani yoq, UZBga oboramiz dip harakatda...buniyam farqi bor.

bunaqa hol UZBda yoki boshqa joyda yoq degan odam bomasa kerak....

Роял, я совсем о другом говорю, а вы про что-то другое.

почему среди всех стран мира те кто подали и выграли на Грин кард болше Узбеков?

это только из-за того что нет любви к своей стране к своему обществу.

если ты любишь ствою родину ты никогда ни покинишь ее - даже во время войны ты возмешь в руки калаш и будешь стоять в рядах защитников - а не менять свой поспорт на амереканский из-за куска хлеба. блин.

[Glance]

Munozara boshqacharoq - bu boardga unchalik ham taaluqli bo'lmagan tus olganligi sababli boshqa boardga munosiqroq deb topdik.

[Пушкарева]

Kechiras, "topdik" deganiz kimlar? Man uni MND da ochganim sababi - u uzbek qizi haqidagi bolgan hikoya.

Betda ketvotgan discussion - Uzb-dagi muamollar haqida emas.

Noroziligimmi eshitmoqchi bolmasez agar, eting kimga murojaat qilib tushuntirishim kerak.

Rahmat.


Munozara boshqacharoq - bu boardga unchalik ham taaluqli bo'lmagan tus olganligi sababli boshqa boardga munosiqroq deb topdik.

[Glance]

Kniga jaob'ga yozing. Forumda mavzu har doim ham ochilgan sabab uchun hizmat qila olmasligini yaxshi bilasiz nazarimda. Yozilgan postlani o'chirib o'tirganiMdan ko'ra, mavzuINGIZ saqlab qolish afzal emasmi?

[alpum]

Kniga jaob'ga yozing. Forumda mavzu har doim ham ochilgan sabab uchun hizmat qila olmasligini yaxshi bilasiz nazarimda. Yozilgan postlani o'chirib o'tirganiMdan ko'ra, mavzuINGIZ saqlab qolish afzal emasmi?

чисто онау, административный отмазка булди)))

молодец... нима деб жавоб бераркан деб уйловдим.

[Пушкарева]

Yozilgan postlarIMNI, ochgan topiclaRIMNI nimasi SIZGA maqul kelmayapti ohirgi payt? Sabab?


Kniga jaob'ga yozing. Forumda mavzu har doim ham ochilgan sabab uchun hizmat qila olmasligini yaxshi bilasiz nazarimda. Yozilgan postlani o'chirib o'tirganiMdan ko'ra, mavzuINGIZ saqlab qolish afzal emasmi?

[Glance]

Yozilgan postlarIMNI, ochgan topiclaRIMNI nimasi SIZGA maqul kelmayapti ohirgi payt? Sabab?

Man hayron qoldim bu gapizga. :rolleyes: Qattadur Sizni postlariz va mavzulariz yoqmayapgani haqida gapirganimmi, hatto shunday deb o'ylaganimni ham eslay olmadim. Aksincha, (ON-mavzuga qaytaylik) shu mavzuingizdagi ayolga malades dedim. (G'ayri dinlarga turmushga chiqib, yana bf bo'p yurganidan tashqari albatta)

[Пушкарева]

SHu gayri dinga teggani-yu, kim bilan yurgani - Uzb muammolariga nima aloqasi bor?

A balki, shu bazi insonlar bir-birni yahshi hayotini ko'romi, qaraz qilib yurgani - shudir? Yani, shu feature va Uzb orasiga bir link otqazsek - unda toqri bu boarda mos.


Man hayron qoldim bu gapizga. :rolleyes: Qattadur Sizni postlariz va mavzulariz yoqmayapgani haqida gapirganimmi, hatto shunday deb o'ylaganimni ham eslay olmadim. Aksincha, (ON-mavzuga qaytaylik) shu mavzuingizdagi ayolga malades dedim. (G'ayri dinlarga turmushga chiqib, yana bf bo'p yurganidan tashqari albatta)

[uzbekcfa2]

Listen, it's not about america and it's not about green card. Yes, may be in the beginning she made a mistake choosing an american as a life partner, but that's her choice. Nobody is saying she should be chosen as a role model. The point of the story is how she did overcome those difficulties. America is not sweet. you gotta work your ass off here. Tons of healthy uzbek guys in america do shitty jobs. This woman made her way up. She started with heavy jobs, but she continued studying. Got her law degree and became a lawyer. Maybe if she was weak, she could've say, **** it, **** america, Im goin home. But she didnt give up and she achieved what she wants through hard work. The story is about that. not about immigration, not about marrying an american or anything like that.






Darvesh!!! Bravo!!!

Фикрингизга кушиламан.

Я так и не понял что хорошего в этой Америке) мне уже 30 лет - но в отличие от своих друзей и знакомых я не болею этой Америкоманией.

И если мне принесут эту Грин карту - я откажусь. мне не зачем туда ехать? что там я потерял?

Обьясните девушки что вы там находите? терьпя столько унижений и трудностей?

[nemets]

чем то похоже на историю моей двоюродной сестры, у которой муж американец, страше её на 20 лет, вывез её туда с ребёнком (от первого мужа) и заболел раком (по мужской части). пришлось перенимать всё на себя параллельно от учёбы на юридическом. 6 лет тяжёлой жизни со стрессами, подработками и по 5-6 часов сна в сутки. но в отличии от мужа в этой истории, у неё муж просто сильно болен, а она воспитана так, что оставить его никогда не сможет, даже на стороне никого нет (она же молодая женщина), так как после работы всегда рядом с больным мужем. искренне уважаю таких стойких женщин.

[Googler]

И если мне принесут эту Грин карту - я откажусь.

Off:

Если человек откажется от Грин Карты, то в последующие 3-6 лет он получает неиммиграционные визы в США без проблем и вопросов. ;)

[Uyyonli]

ya'll still weak to us. that's why we help you.

[dauphin]

Is that a law or something? :shock: :lol: I was not aware of that.

It is not law or something :lol:. It is culture.

[melo]

It is not law or something :lol:. It is culture.

Maybe you have not met every American yet. :lol:

[dauphin]

Maybe you have not met every American yet. :lol:

Okey melo you win, let me rephrase it. Americans rarely get married right after the first date. :lol:

[SAMARKANDI!]

Okey melo you win, let me rephrase it. Americans rarely get married right after the first date. :lol:

Are you talking about real americans (natives) or the ones like melo who came to show democracy to the world? :lol:

[Prince]

Yes, Look at this UZBECHKA , she's "STRONG" , And we cant call YOU WEAK! :? :?: ? :evil: :kill:

Toba qildim!!!!! Buyam AYOLDE a? :? !!!

Shunaqa bozorchi hotinlani rosa yomon koraman !!! :? :? !

p.s anuyam ERKEDE a? :?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmB40CLlIIk

[Prinzessin]

voy bo' :uups: qattan topasila buaqa videolani, a??? :rolleyes: tovba...

[melo]

Are you talking about real americans (natives) or the ones like melo who came to show democracy to the world? :lol:

Are you ever on-topic? :rolleyes: Also, what are you talking about???

[fidis]

Are you ever on-topic? :rolleyes: Also, what are you talking about???

melo, you should know that there is really little knowledge of americans in uzbekistan, and there are a lot of different views on them :lol:.

On: somewhere above it was mentioned that americans do not marry before they date for a year at least. I have a friend, who got married to some russian girl after just a month of dating.
and something about Uzbeks was also said above. majority of Uzbek women are lucky if they go out with their future husband to a restaurant at least once.

[alpum]

Listen, Если бы это была твоя сестра? что бы ты ей сказал? О молодец давай далше делай hard work и мучай свою жизнь??? или бы сказал хватит сестра езжай домой, жизнь дается один раз - насладись жизню не мучай себя, выброси эти туманные амбиции. Хотя ты прав что там дома делать - там же зарплаты низкие. Не знаю...
Но товарищи это не модель для остальных.



Listen, it's not about america and it's not about green card. Yes, may be in the beginning she made a mistake choosing an american as a life partner, but that's her choice. Nobody is saying she should be chosen as a role model. The point of the story is how she did overcome those difficulties. America is not sweet. you gotta work your ass off here. Tons of healthy uzbek guys in america do shitty jobs. This woman made her way up. She started with heavy jobs, but she continued studying. Got her law degree and became a lawyer. Maybe if she was weak, she could've say, **** it, **** america, Im goin home. But she didnt give up and she achieved what she wants through hard work. The story is about that. not about immigration, not about marrying an american or anything like that.

[uzbekcfa2]

Listen, Если бы это была твоя сестра? что бы ты ей сказал? О молодец давай далше делай hard work и мучай свою жизнь??? или бы сказал хватит сестра езжай домой, жизнь дается один раз - насладись жизню не мучай себя, выброси эти туманные амбиции. Хотя ты прав что там дома делать - там же зарплаты низкие. Не знаю...
Но товарищи это не модель для остальных.

first of all, do not personalize. i dont have sisters.
secondly, everyone has to decide for themselves. so if she would be your sister, you would say go home. its not about only salary. if she goes home with her kid, you think her life would be easier. come on. do you believe in what you say? in america she got a law degree and she can provide the future for her kid now. you think she would be able to do so in Uzb?

[melo]

melo, you should know that there is really little knowledge of americans in uzbekistan, and there are a lot of different views on them :lol:.

On: somewhere above it was mentioned that americans do not marry before they date for a year at least. I have a friend, who got married to some russian girl after just a month of dating.
and something about Uzbeks was also said above. majority of Uzbek women are lucky if they go out with their future husband to a restaurant at least once.

I am well aware that Uzbeks have very strange ideas about America and Americans. :lool:

[dauphin]

I am well aware that Uzbeks have very strange ideas about America and Americans. :lool:

Just like Americans have strange ideas about foreigners.

[Crazy Diamond]

я уверена что история рассказана чистосердечно и преклоняюсь перед стоицизмом молодой девушки. молодец.

но я так и ждала, что в конце рассказа вылезит голос из монитора и скажет: This was a paid advertisement for 123 American Invesments and Insurance company.

:?

[Uzbekxonim]

after reading that article: "I asked myself: is it worth it? Is life in the U.S. worth going through all this humiliation and leaving a child without a farther as he (the child) is now granted with the perfect "American" future?" and somehow the answer came to my mind "NO!!!"

I feel ssory for that girl, life is given once and self-dignity should be always on one's mind.

[Masanori]

Yes, Look at this UZBECHKA , she's "STRONG" , And we cant call YOU WEAK! :? :?: ? :evil: :kill:

Toba qildim!!!!! Buyam AYOLDE a? :? !!!

Shunaqa bozorchi hotinlani rosa yomon koraman !!! :? :? !

p.s anuyam ERKEDE a? :?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmB40CLlIIk


:shock::shock:

[Uzbekxonim]

Totally amazed with that young woman. Huge respect to her power of will and overall personality.

Dear Nezabudka,
don't be amazed by this woman, you'd rather take it as a "BAD" example of integrating THE States. I would disagree with you about her personality. She was seduced by the American "prosperious" style of life and forgot what she was taught from her childhood being an Uzbek girl - DIGNITY, SELF-RESPECT and understanding of the "HUSBAND's responsibilities".

[melo]

Dear Nezabudka,
don't be amazed by this woman, you'd rather take it as a "BAD" example of integrating THE States. I would disagree with you about her personality. She was seduced by the American "prosperious" style of life and forgot what she was taught from her childhood being an Uzbek girl - DIGNITY, SELF-RESPECT and understanding of the "HUSBAND's responsibilities".

I think you missed the point. The amazing part is not that she wanted to go to the US or marry an American. :rolleyes: The amazing part is that she overcame all her problems. Sorry, but life is not always perfect or does not work out how it is planned.

You can not control your husband's actions. Anyone can be tricked by someone pretending to be something else. If hypothetically your husband spent all your money and would not stop spending money without asking you - what could you really do????? Should we blame you for that afterwards???? I don't beleive that is fair at all.

[Пушкарева]

Dear Uzbekhonim:

You totally have a right to disagree, however my opinion remains unchanged. I do praise and respect that girl and am totally astonished with her personality.

She provided at the very beginning that the guy charmed her, she had feelings to him and thus she married. It was not a marriage for papers or immigration to the US, IMO. She mentioned she was from a good family - did not starve or was poor in Uzbekistan - to view the US as the dream land where peoople dig gold 24/7.

Also, once she came to the US and realized her husband was a total jerk, she still tolerated him for a while and did not go home (I'd do the same) divorced and with a baby.

If she was weak, she would go back. But she is not. And therefore she is admired.

****

Also, there exists a misperception of people remaining in the US despite severe challenges. Such people are not here for the "US" brand-name. They have other goals to fullfil. Say one comes to the US for education having no clue that its not such a colorful student life as they picture it in the american teenager movies. Once s/he faces the bitter realities of a foreign-student-life here (with its tremendous academic workload, dragon immigration restrictions that do not let one work to complement scare scholarship allowances, difficult life on one's own in an absolutely individualistic society, and etc.), the person does appreciate certain values of own culture. However, very few would go back without accomplishing the goal. None wants to get back as a loser.

Besides, if I were asked to characterize the US in only one sentence, I would say "its a country where nothing is easy, BUT if one works and works real hard, s/he gets rewarded according to the labour".

Any person has its ego and sence of self-esteem: some more, some less. But all of us do. If she stayed to go through the hell - she might have had strong reasons for that. And I see the reasons in her son, her willingness to sustain and evolve, but not in the "cool" brand "America".


Dear Nezabudka,
don't be amazed by this woman, you'd rather take it as a "BAD" example of integrating THE States. I would disagree with you about her personality. She was seduced by the American "prosperious" style of life and forgot what she was taught from her childhood being an Uzbek girl - DIGNITY, SELF-RESPECT and understanding of the "HUSBAND's responsibilities".

[NuR_BeK]

Bunaqa chidamlilikka qoyillar qolib ketish kerak.

Men ham shunaqa insonlarni ba'zilarini bilaman. Ayol boshi bilan shuncha narsaga bardosh berish.

melo, you should know that there is really little knowledge of americans in uzbekistan, and there are a lot of different views on them :lol:.

On: somewhere above it was mentioned that americans do not marry before they date for a year at least. I have a friend, who got married to some russian girl after just a month of dating.
and something about Uzbeks was also said above. majority of Uzbek women are lucky if they go out with their future husband to a restaurant at least once.

Ja unchalik "Kolxoz qizil piyoz" qilmang-e! Man shundaylarni taniyman, 9 yil sevishib keyin turmush qurishgan.

Bunaqa "patience" hammaga ham berilavermaydi, agar o'zbekdan shunaqasi chiqmasa.

[MUHLIS]

Manba'si bilan ham "o'rtoqlashib" yuborsangiz bo'lardi....
"Charming American"? Qaysi birib muhimroq rol o'ynagan ekan..."charming" part or "american" part?
Odam Law Schoolda o'qir ekan, keyin bar examdan o'tar ekan, attorney bo'lib ishlar ekanda banking systemni tushunmas ekanda....

[Uzbekxonim]

I think you missed the point. The amazing part is not that she wanted to go to the US or marry an American. :rolleyes: The amazing part is that she overcame all her problems. Sorry, but life is not always perfect or does not work out how it is planned.

You can not control your husband's actions. Anyone can be tricked by someone pretending to be something else. If hypothetically your husband spent all your money and would not stop spending money without asking you - what could you really do????? Should we blame you for that afterwards???? I don't beleive that is fair at all.

The life is about overcoming the problems, the life is about being strong.

If you read the aarticle correctly, her mother left her job and style of life just because her daughter wanted to remain in the US. I would never allow my mom to leave the way she lives just 'cos of my will to live in a developed country.

I did not miss the point here, in my understanding the girl isn't strong but selfish and seduced by beautifull life in the US.
ps. i have some doubts about this story, it can be a good advertisiement and brainwashing tool.

[Uzbekxonim]

Dear Uzbekhonim:

You totally have a right to disagree, however my opinion remains unchanged. I do praise and respect that girl and am totally astonished with her personality.

She provided at the very beginning that the guy charmed her, she had feelings to him and thus she married. It was not a marriage for papers or immigration to the US, IMO. She mentioned she was from a good family - did not starve or was poor in Uzbekistan - to view the US as the dream land where peoople dig gold 24/7.


jonim, not only poor Uzbek people see the US as a dreamland.


Also, once she came to the US and realized her husband was a total jerk, she still tolerated him for a while and did not go home (I'd do the same) divorced and with a baby.

If she was weak, she would go back. But she is not. And therefore she is admired.

yes, you're right, she did not want to look like a looser in front of an Uzbek society, she did not go back, she just "indirectly" forced her mom to sacrifize her and husbands life to take care of a child.

A strong lonely mother would never ask anyone for help but would dod it on he own, watch Erin Brokovich ;)
****

Also, there exists a misperception of people remaining in the US despite severe challenges. Such people are not here for the "US" brand-name. They have other goals to fullfil. Say one comes to the US for education having no clue that its not such a colorful student life as they picture it in the american teenager movies. Once s/he faces the bitter realities of a foreign-student-life here (with its tremendous academic workload, dragon immigration restrictions that do not let one work to complement scare scholarship allowances, difficult life on one's own in an absolutely individualistic society, and etc.), the person does appreciate certain values of own culture. However, very few would go back without accomplishing the goal. None wants to get back as a loser.



Besides, if I were asked to characterize the US in only one sentence, I would say "its a country where nothing is easy, BUT if one works and works real hard, s/he gets rewarded according to the labour".


that's why it is a dreamland, in some places u work hard and get nothing.


Any person has its ego and sence of self-esteem: some more, some less. But all of us do. If she stayed to go through the hell - she might have had strong reasons for that. And I see the reasons in her son, her willingness to sustain and evolve, but not in the "cool" brand "America".


don't want to offend u but the same paragraph can reason a lonely mother workinf as a prostitute.

I wish you to find better heroines to be amazed with :kiss:

[MUHLIS]

Ok, someone has to be the bad guy, right?

Uzbek immigrant

I discovered that my husband had some serious financial issues - he used my brand new credit history to apply for various business and personal loans, over $250,000 total, which he never repaid, was shopping every day for gadgets and frivolous things and spending lots of money without having any savings.
What kind of "various business and personal loans"?


Eventually, I went to law school, while also working in the restaurants, which was an ordeal since I turned out to be the clumsiest waitress in the history of the modern world.
First you realize you are endebded, then go bankrupt, stay at home with your baby and go to a Law school? I don't know....this doesn't sound very logical to me. Please, don't tell me you paid for the Law School working at a restaurant.
I remember carrying a tray full of crab legs, potatoes and lobsters and thinking how my 5' 100 lbs body was not properly designed for this. I also worked in the Chinese restaurant without understanding a word, and other waiters often laughed at me (whole-heartedly so), when I tried to pronounce the names of the dishes. I also worked as a telemarketer and cemetery sales person trainee (!). I was awful at both.
Insignificant. Almost every young people face similar or worse experiences at least once in their lives and many get stuck with it for the rest of their lives.
My mother left her high-paying job and her family in Uzbekistan and moved in with us to take care of my son.
She probably missed her daughter and grandson very much.....what else can force a gron-up person go to a foreign country?
She was horrified by the conditions I was living in, but I never questioned my husband (cultural thing).
"Cultural thing"? AFAIK, there is no taboo code in our culture to ask for explanations from ones husband.

My husband's philosophy was - you can never save enough money, so the best way to do it is to earn more. Needless to say, he did neither.
We got that part - he is a overspending, non-earning jerk. OK.
Once he spent the money I saved from my tips for the return ticket for my 1 y.o. son who was visiting Uzbekistan with my mother. I was devastated.
Return ticket to 1. yr old son? For babies under 1 yr old, the charge is 10% of the adult ticket price, so it shouldn't be more than 200 bucks max. I know this was supposed to be an emotional part where a reader is expeted to start grying and curse the bastard, but it simply didn't work out very well.
However, I increased my hours at the restaurant, took the shifts no one else wanted, and saved enough money for their return. Eventually I was fired because I couldn't keep up with all the tables I took out of desperation.
Getting fired is OK. No person can hold one job till one retires anymore. No need to feel guilty about it.
I spent hours at night at the law school library after classes and work, studying my way to top 10% of my class.
I got this part too you are a hard-working, smart, and intellegent young ledy who was so unfortunate to end up marrying a sucker.
Throughout my law school I had a chipped front tooth (!) which I couldn't repair because of lack of insurance and money.
Is this supposed to be the emotional part two? I might be wrong though.

Sometimes things were so bad that we had no money on baby formula and I had to get it from the food banks.
We have money for Law School and no money for baby formula? Why didn't you consider appying for childcare assistance program? The government wants to take care of young parents and babies.
I wore used clothes which is completely against my culture. However, he insisted on living in "prestigious" neighborhoods and driving expensive cars. All of our money went to rent and car payments.
The price of new clothing isn't that much different from used ones. Rent and car payment....a big chunk of expence in almost every single family living in the us.


Once I graduated from law school and passed the bar I became an attorney....I worked as a judicial clerk...I still did not know anything about finances and could barely use an ATM. After finishing my clerkship, I remember receiving a statement about having $1000 in my 401K. I showed it to my husband asking what should we do with it? He said: cash it. So I did.
Howcome a top ten student in a law school, an attorney who earns fortunes doesn't know how to use an ATM machine? Is this supposed to be the part that will convince us that you are little fallen angel?

Why did I not leave my husband? Because of the Uzbek (read Eastern) culture.
You marry a bastard, you immigrate, you divorce but the culture is the reason? Nice.
The more American I became, the more it was obvious that I should leave him.
The more American I became - are we supposed to read it like "The more financial confidence I gained, the more it was obvious that I should, finally, leave this jerk whom I married just because he happened to be an american"?
While I was working long hours as a litigation attorney, he staid home after another failed "business" and called me at work 10 times a day asking why we did not have money in our bank account.
Ok, you are great as usual - working. He is a jerk as always - sitting at home and asking for money. Why on earth he went to Uzbekistan? Just to marry you? What kind of "business" does he (try to) do? We never got to hear that part of the story.
One year ago I left him. The decision was accelerated by my father moving to U.S. and instantly being appalled with my husband's behavior.
You met an (endebted, but still) american, married him, moved to the US, got a degree from a law school, your mom and dad moved to you. Isn't this all supposed to be great? What this fuss is about?

Of course, I make a lot more money than I ever imagined and more money a year than my friends in Uzbekistan will make in their entire life (result of long hours, hard work and multiple salary negotiations sessions). However, I live in a small apartment with cheap rent which belongs to the City, drive a 10 year old car,
10 yr old car!!! OMG, what a shame!!!!
Generally this is the writing of a young woman who is really pi$$ed off about her divorce and trying to find some conforting facts in her life (and fantasies).
It is OK, you will get over it. People divorce in Uzbekistan too.

[melo]

The life is about overcoming the problems, the life is about being strong.

If you read the aarticle correctly, her mother left her job and style of life just because her daughter wanted to remain in the US. I would never allow my mom to leave the way she lives just 'cos of my will to live in a developed country.

I did not miss the point here, in my understanding the girl isn't strong but selfish and seduced by beautifull life in the US.
ps. i have some doubts about this story, it can be a good advertisiement and brainwashing tool.

Let's assume it is true - it is pointless to post if we think it is totally fake.

People make choices. Mabe the family deciede it was the best for all of them. I am also confused where you get the "beautiful" life in the US from??? If anything the story shows how her life turned terrible once she got there. :shock: Did you ever think returning to Uzbekistan with a child and divorced might be difficult???? And that child would not even be Uzbek. It probably does not have an Uzbek name and is 50% whatever her husband was. There are also legal issues regarding taking a child out of the country and far away from the other parent. ;) Again not everyone's life turns out how they wanted. Sitting back and mocking them for it is weak. Just be thankful you are not in the same position.

[Uzbekxonim]

Let's assume it is true - it is pointless to post if we think it is totally fake.

People make choices. Mabe the family deciede it was the best for all of them. I am also confused where you get the "beautiful" life in the US from??? If anything the story shows how her life turned terrible once she got there. :shock: Did you ever think returning to Uzbekistan with a child and divorced might be difficult???? And that child would not even be Uzbek. It probably does not have an Uzbek name and is 50% whatever her husband was. There are also legal issues regarding taking a child out of the country and far away from the other parent. ;) Again not everyone's life turns out how they wanted. Sitting back and mocking them for it is weak. Just be thankful you are not in the same position.

My aim was not to mock anyone, i just expressed my evaluation of the weakness and/or strength of a woman.
ps. If you visited some CIS countries u would understand what beaty of the States life i mean.

[melo]

My aim was not to mock anyone, i just expressed my evaluation of the weakness and/or strength of a woman.
ps. If you visited some CIS countries u would understand what beaty of the States life i mean.


I have no idea what you mean now. Before you were basically stating that life in the US was not worth it and now you are telling me I don't understand how much better it is than in the CIS???? :? Sorry I don't really believe that anyways. ;)

[Uzbekxonim]

I have no idea what you mean now.

that's why i wrote in my previous post "if u visited..." now it is obvious that u never been, therefore u can't understand my point.

[melo]

that's why i wrote in my previous post "if u visited..." now it is obvious that u never been, therefore u can't understand my point.

It just seems like you are supporting and understand why she would want to do anything to go to the US now. :rolleyes: I thought you were aginst that.

[AL-Midwest]

Reading her story made me almost cry like a girl and made me stand up for the right thing blah blah blah sounds like perfect hollywod movie script

[gulamus]

Mda
Nakonecto viju zdravo myslyushih ludey :)... I like how they break down the story :) ... funny..
The other thing, being in law school for 3 years and work in the restaurant? to be in top 10% naaaaaaaaa believe me it is impossible... it is just in past 5-6 years tuition is how much? you were bankrupt nobody will loan you money, do not you think?
I dont know, seems like fake
GA

[Prince]

a hop deb qoyselachi..... yozgisi kepti yozdi...., endi talamela uni shunga! :rolleyes:

I know a lot of ppl who came to US and found paradise here in US , they think "Ohh US Is everything, US is dreamland , US gave me Everything , i would work and live here"

Whenever you gain something you lose something else for exchange;
Like you earn a lots of money , you lose ur health and etc



Someone gives up her virginity to become "american" or "successful"

Someone gives up her identity

Whatever you gave up, ask urself: Does it Worth it!? :?

Life is not about seeing America, living in America, and Life is not about beeing successfull in America, or Law School Graduate!!!


p.s Atak HERO-ga odam tilayman kim bosayam , nima bosayam, Waitress bolib, hozir Law School Graduate bosa - Omadini bersin! no besit menya to chto lyudi tikayut , palcami pokazivayut na uzbekov "Vot vy duraki , blah blah, a my Amerikanci ili Amerikanki umnie"

[illusion]

Nice story...However, some facts are really confusing... She graduated from Law School, passed her Bar Exam, worked in a number of restaurants, but still could barely use an ATM :)
How did she manage to pay her Law School tuition? I bet with tips she received from Chinese Restaurants :)

[Пушкарева]

Hi Illusion!

Was it the other way around: she did not know how to use ATM, worked as a waitress, got accepted to law school and passed her bar exam? :D

Anyways.

PS: Long time no see? Only today talked to Uz_Girlie and recalled you. We all should meet soon. Probably next week.


Nice story...However, some facts are really confusing... She graduated from Law School, passed her Bar Exam, worked in a number of restaurants, but still could barely use an ATM :)
How did she manage to pay her Law School tuition? I bet with tips she received from Chinese Restaurants :)

[Пушкарева]

Ludi, a pochemu vi takiye zlie? Net chtobi poradovatsya za svoego cheloveka.

Ne ponimayu.

[gulamus]

Nu davayte pojalusta ne budem govorit o zlosti... Please... \
nikto tut ne zloy, prosto realno smotryat i rasmatrivayut every possible mistake in her or another's possible college essay statement!!!
s uvajeniem
GA

[illusion]

Hi Illusion!

Was it the other way around: she did not know how to use ATM, worked as a waitress, got accepted to law school and passed her bar exam? :D

Anyways.

PS: Long time no see? Only today talked to Uz_Girlie and recalled you. We all should meet soon. Probably next week.

It looks like the other way around :) "Once I graduated from law school and passed the bar I became an attorney. I became more assertive about the finances and insisted we moved to a tiny apartment downtown Woodbury, NJ where I worked as a judicial clerk. Initially he complained that he doesn't want to live "like an immigrant" and that he needs more privacy. However, I insisted on that. I was walking to work and keeping the budget for groceries and everything else. I still did not know anything about finances and could barely use an ATM. "

Yeah, I haven't seen you both forever. Let's definitely meet up. Just tell me when and where...Cheers!

[handalak]

Her follow up comment:



So do I. My mom begs me getting back to my previous stance: being all childish and nice and cute and silly. Which is hard, once you coped with the life challenges all alone. If you did so and went through that hardshell, you grow. Grow mentally, emotionally, and behavior- and look-wise.*

______________
* i.e. glance

Molodchina !!!

[inDecision]

yayy O'zbeklarimdan! 6 sekundda detektor lji'ga qo'yib story'ni fake'ligini aniqlab tashadila:lol:!

[ElenaC]

Deistvitelno lyudi, pochemu bi ne poradovatsya za nashu sootechestvenitsu?

Zachem tseplyatsya za slova i osujdat kajdoe predlojenie, tem bolee chto eto ne prosto vimishlennaya istoriya, a biografiya osnovannaya na faktah.

Ya etu devushku znayu, tem bolee chto ona naoborot daje nichego ne preuvelichivala....a esli bi polnostyu vse rasskazala, gde jivet, kak seichas jivet, s kem jivet , to chto vse bi lopnuli ot zavisti ??? :evil: