Should a Lady shake a hand?

[Uzbekxonim]

Dear Forumers,

There are a lot of working ladies in the modern world.
The etiquet rules of a business world is mostly set bu men.

Therefore, let's share opinions in this thread if a Lady should shake a hand. If yes or no, then why?

[MUHLIS]

I think there is no very strong reason to shake hands with strangers regardless of gender. So this shouldn't be a problem at all.
If that is what the lady chooses to do (i.e. not to shake hands), then people who know her should know and respect her choice. That is part of liberal view.
I don't stretch my hands to every woman I know. But I do shake hands with very few women, basically with my relatives. On the other hand, I will not refrain from a handshake if a sincere woman initiates.

[Monic]

Mne kajetsya, daje v bolshom biznesse be rukopojatiya Jenshina mojet spokoyno oboytis,
Voobshe ya slishala chto po pravilam togo-je samogo etiketa ruku dlya rukopojatiya pervoy doljna podat jenshina(esli ona etogo zahochet), i tolko posle etogo mujchna podat svoyu, inache eto schitayetsya nevospitannostyu mujchini, potomu chto jenshine chtobi ne opozorit mujchinu vozmojno priydetsya podat emu ruku.

[crescent]

Well, I was shake hands whenever we have meeting, visit customers or when guests come to office. I think it just makes the rest of the conversation go easier.

[MUHLIS]

Well, I was shake hands whenever we have meeting, visit customers or when guests come to office. I think it just makes the rest of the conversation go easier.
Interesting....so do you think that not shaking hands will make your conversation more difficult then?

[Nafees]

Bir narsa aytsam, hech kimni qo'li tugul, uni qo'li ushlagan narsaniyam ushlamisila :)

O'zi avvaldan odamlar bilan qo'l berishmasdim. Ayniqsa erkaklar bilan. Ayrimlarning qo'lidagi terlash kasali yuqishidan qo'rqaman.

G'ayridinlarning ayrimlari(!) hojathonadan chiqib hatto qo'liniyam yuvmasligi hechkimga sir bo'lmasa kerak. to'g'ri ularning ham, qo'l asosiy mikrob tashuvchi joy eknligini biladiganlari yuvadi. lekin bir tadqiqot o'tkazishgan ekan, unitazni flush qiladigan ruchka, yo tugmachalariga ko'rinmas kukun sepib qo'yishadi, keyin kuzatishsa o'sha kukun, hojathonani ishlatgan odamning, yaqinlari tugul, boshqa begonalarning qo'llarida, yuzlarida va og'izlarida topilibdi :shock:

etiketmusha, qo'lini yuvmagan odamga etiketga rioya qildingizmi, yo'qmi nima farqi bor?

[crescent]

Interesting....so do you think that not shaking hands will make your conversation more difficult then?

It does not make it difficult. Saying easier I meant "непринуждённый".

[MUHLIS]

It does not make it difficult. Saying easier I meant "непринуждённый".

I got even more confused now. What is "neprinujdenniy"? "non-obligatory"?
I am stuck.

[crescent]

I got even more confused now. What is "neprinujdenniy"? "non-obligatory"?
I am stuck.

What if I say "relaxed". Does it help at all?

[alpum]

я думаю что важно как происходит рукопожатие,

если это длится хоть немного долше чем это должно быть, и женьщина задерживает руку в руке мужчины,

то это говорит очень много - это сигнал об атаке.

[nemets]

если женщина по каким-то идейным соображанеям не жмёт руку, то нужно учитывать это и с уважением относиться. в соответствии же со светским этикетом, мужчина не должен протягивать руку первым, а ждёт пока это сделает женщина. если она протянула, то надо пожать.
бывают ещё какие то блатные патриархальные устои, когда мужчина не жмёт руки. например, был я на какой-то вечеринке и там один парень, который из себя изображал мафиозника, он не пожал руку моей супруге, которая всем протягивала. он сразу сказал- "я женщинам не жму". но с такими людьми ни мне ни моей супруге не по пути. если же мужчина по религиозным соображениям не жмёт протянутую женщиной руку, то он должен тактично объяснить причину, чтобы она приняла во внимание на следующий раз.

[Uzbekxonim]

in some cases a man gives a hand and a Lady feels obliged to shake it otherwise it will not be polite. Usually, there is no much time to explain why would your refrain from shaking a hand.

Like, today, i had to shake a hand as the guy is my counterpart and i have to establish business relationship, so a hand shake is as an ice-breaker. At the same time, i felt very uncomfortable because of two reasons: 1) hygiene 2) a married woman shouldn't be touching another man. Unfortunately, sometimes i cannto stick to my understanding of things.

And some men really don't know that if a woman does not give a hand it means that she doesn't want to shake yours :lol:

[Shirin_Qiz]

Assalomu alaykum !!

Bilmadim kimda kanaka lekin shaxsan man o'zim ayolla (qizlar) bilan yaqin tanishim bolsa bagrimga bosib (salgina) ikki yuzidan opib salomlashaman .

A okalarim bilan (tugishgan bolsa ) uyzimdan opib sorashishadi ..

Tanish va sinifdoshlarim (erkak kishi) bilan esa oddiy salom qol uzatkan kishiga prosta uzoqdan salom shaklida qolimni siltasam boldi tushinib oladi va , kegingi safar qol uzatmasdan salomlashadi ..... Bilmadim mani harakterim shunaqa .

[MUHLIS]

in some cases a man gives a hand and a Lady feels obliged to shake it otherwise it will not be polite. Usually, there is no much time to explain why would your refrain from shaking a hand.

Like, today, i had to shake a hand as the guy is my counterpart and i have to establish business relationship, so a hand shake is as an ice-breaker. At the same time, i felt very uncomfortable because of two reasons: 1) hygiene 2) a married woman shouldn't be touching another man. Unfortunately, sometimes i cannto stick to my understanding of things.

And some men really don't know that if a woman does not give a hand it means that she doesn't want to shake yours :lol:


The real world doesn't ideally suit our preferences and wishes ( it is not meant to be this way, I guess). So, sometimes our choices can be constrained and we may be forced to comporomise. The centrail point is though, while these compromises will serve a quick-fix to unexpected situations they must not be made at the expence of our fundamental values.

[Dr_Didro]

Qo'l siqish siqmaslik har bir odamning ichki nastroyiga bog'liq. Qizlarning qo'l siqib ko'rishishlarida hech yomon illat yoki dinga qarshi harakatlarni ko'rmayapman. Ko'pincha ayollar hug va kiss bilan kifoyalanadi, eng yaqin erkak do'stlari bilan ham.

Mabodo siz Kondoliza Rays vazifasida bo'lib qolsangiz, butun dunyo qo'lini siqib chiqishingizga to'g'ri keladi. Germs yuqadimi yo'qmi bu endi ikkilamchi masala. :D Shunga endi ota go'ri-qozi xonami?

[MUHLIS]

Qo'l siqish siqmaslik har bir odamning ichki nastroyiga bog'liq. Qizlarning qo'l siqib ko'rishishlarida hech yomon illat yoki dinga qarshi harakatlarni ko'rmayapman. Ko'pincha ayollar hug va kiss bilan kifoyalanadi, eng yaqin erkak do'stlari bilan ham.

Mabodo siz Kondoliza Rays vazifasida bo'lib qolsangiz, butun dunyo qo'lini siqib chiqishingizga to'g'ri keladi. Germs yuqadimi yo'qmi bu endi ikkilamchi masala. :D Shunga endi ota go'ri-qozi xonami?
Condoleeza Rice ning job descriptionida "you must shake hands" degan modda borligiga ishonmayman. Menimcha bu, o'zingiz aytganingizdek shaxsiy masala. :D

[Dr_Didro]

Condoleeza Rice ning job descriptionida "you must shake hands" degan modda borligiga ishonmayman. Menimcha bu, o'zingiz aytganingizdek shaxsiy masala. :D

Diplomatik protokolda bor birodar. Hand Shaking ceremony degan alohida modda bilan biriktirilgan ;) State Departmentda hatto traininglar ham o'tkaziladi, qo'lni qanday qilib to'g'ri siqish bo'yicha, xazillashayotganim yo'q!:cool:

[MUHLIS]

Diplomatik protokolda bor birodar. Hand Shaking ceremony degan alohida modda bilan biriktirilgan ;) State Departmentda hatto traininglar ham o'tkaziladi, qo'lni qanday qilib to'g'ri siqish bo'yicha, xazillashayotganim yo'q!:cool:
Xa endi....diplopmatlar bilan qo'l berish so'rashsa bo'laveradi, har holda hojatga borgandan keyin qo'lini yuvsalar kerak. :lol: Lekin so'rashganda qo'lini qattiqroq siqish kerakmikan....zora egri joylari to'g'rilanib ketsa...:lol:

[Falcon]

Qizlarning qo'l siqib ko'rishishlarida hech yomon illat yoki dinga qarshi harakatlarni ko'rmayapman.

is it with women or men?

agar erkela bilan bo'lsa, dindagi kooootttaaaa illatni biz ko'rib turibmiz, Dr Faylasuf

[Dr_Didro]

is it with women or men?

agar erkela bilan bo'lsa, dindagi kooootttaaaa illatni biz ko'rib turibmiz, Dr Faylasuf

Isboti bilan keltiring illat nimada ekan?

Mana bu videoda Saudiya qiroli ayol kishiga qolini cho'zmoqda, ammo ayol qo'l berishdan bosh tortadi. (Bu o'z hohishimi yoki Iordan Hoshimiylarning Saudlardan aziyat chekkaniga javobmi, aytish qiyin) Agar ayollar qo'l berishi dinga qarshi bo'lganida, Qirol birinchi bo'lib qo'lini cho'zgan bo'larmidi ;)

YouTube - When She Refused to Greet The Saudi King

[Charmed]

I don't think she must do it though i don't see anything wrong with that As for me it depends on situation and my mood ;)

[Sag'bonlik_qiz]

Dear Forumers,

There are a lot of working ladies in the modern world.
The etiquet rules of a business world is mostly set bu men.

Therefore, let's share opinions in this thread if a Lady should shake a hand. If yes or no, then why?

Мужу не нравится когда жму руку, в его присутствии свела до минимума. Но с новой позицией на работе придется жать еще чаще чем раньше. Одним словом, чем выше карабкаемся по лестнице в социальной иерархии, тем больше будет крен в сторону мужской доминанты. Здесь уже не до девичьих ужимок, крепкое рукопожатие, прямой взгляд и профессионализм -ключ к успеху.

[Uzbekxonim]

Мужу не нравится когда жму руку, в его присутствии свела до минимума. Но с новой позицией на работе придется жать еще чаще чем раньше. Одним словом, чем выше карабкаемся по лестнице в социальной иерархии, тем больше будет крен в сторону мужской доминанты. Здесь уже не до девичьих ужимок, крепкое рукопожатие, прямой взгляд и профессионализм -ключ к успеху.

Slava bogu, moj muj ne vidit menya na ofitsialnih vstrechah ;)

[MUHLIS]

and again men are guilty..... :lol:
one could also add:
excellent body, see-through blouse, and mini-skirt are key to sexess..tfy mlya...success in business. Good luck.

[Shambles]

Slava bogu, moj muj ne vidit menya na ofitsialnih vstrechah ;)

A Vy zanimayetes' tam chem-to zazornim, Uzbekxonim???:shock::shock::shock:

[Uzbekxonim]

and again men are guilty..... :lol:
one could also add:
excellent body, see-through blouse, and mini-skirt are key to sexess..tfy mlya...success in business. God luck.

bechora erkaklar...:lol: a hotinlar sizlarni guilty qilmasa haoyotila judayam shirin bo'lib ketardi-yu... :lol:

[Uzbekxonim]

A Vy zanimayetes' tam chem-to zazornim, Uzbekxonim???:shock::shock::shock:

nu da, mogu mujchine ruku pojat :lol: fyi: moi offitsialnie vstrechi bez pomoshnika-perevodchika ne proishodyat;) nadeyus, vopros ne posleduet - a vi eto delaete vtroem? :lol:

ps. kajdiy znaet meru svoey isporchennosti;)

[MUHLIS]

nu da, mogu mujchine ruku pojat :lol: fyi: moi offitsialnie vstrechi bez pomoshnika-perevodchika ne proishodyat;) nadeyus, vopros ne posleduet - a vi eto delaete vtroem? :lol:

ps. kajdiy znaet meru svoey isporchennosti;)
This reminded me what I've experienced in Uzbekistan.....it seemed like I would never be able to get a position other than either "assistant" or "translator".....I will do all I can not to end up in that kind of situation anymore.....Rambling around with little hope and more desparation.....with a master's degree....doing clerical job for "bosses" with BAs from narxoz or finansoviy.....i hate all that....

[Пушкарева]

I do, when inroduced to new colleagues and the trait automatically transfers to everyday life, which sometimes puts you in an awkward situation when people look weird at you due to the act (especially when they are "our people"/uzbeks, russians, etc).

Is it bad? I need to give it up when travelling home or NIS area. I think the gesture looks: a) ok. when you are in a business style and in the relevant circle, and b) somewhat musculine "v bitu".

[Shokirbek]

Isboti bilan keltiring illat nimada ekan?

Mana bu videoda Saudiya qiroli ayol kishiga qolini cho'zmoqda, ammo ayol qo'l berishdan bosh tortadi. (Bu o'z hohishimi yoki Iordan Hoshimiylarning Saudlardan aziyat chekkaniga javobmi, aytish qiyin) Agar ayollar qo'l berishi dinga qarshi bo'lganida, Qirol birinchi bo'lib qo'lini cho'zgan bo'larmidi ;)

YouTube - When She Refused to Greet The Saudi King (http://youtube.com/watch?v=nGXhG5soLbQ&feature=related)



Qirolning qilig'i biror mazhabda dinda dalil bo'lmaydi.
Qirolning emas, katta-katta ulamolarning ham, hatto sahobalarni ko'rib qolgan yirik salaf ulamolarining ham birortasining qilgan ishi dinda dalil bo'lmaydi. Ulamolar faqat bir joyda ixtilof qilishgan. Islom dini tarqalgan Madinada sahobalar davridan keyin o'sha Madina ahli (ulamolar) barchasi qilgan ish dinga dalil bo'ladimi yo'qmi, shunda ixtilof qilganlar. Ba'zilar (imom Molik va u kishiga ergashgan boshqa ulamolar) Madina ahli (ulamolari)ning qilgan ishlari (ya'ni sahobalardan keyingi davrdagi, bu davr bor-yo'g'i 30-40 yil davom etgan) dinda dalil bo'ladi, deyishsa, boshqa ko'plab ulamolar (bular ichida 3 mazhab ulamolari, minglab boshqa ulamolar) yo'q, dalil bo'lmaydi, deganlar.

Shuning uchun biron bir din peshvosi qilgan ishni ko'rib, o'sha ishning Islomda qay hukmga ega ekanini bilmay turib, dindan deb yuborish bo'lmaydi. Podsholarniku, endi asti qo'yaverasiz.

Bu boradagi din hukmi: nomahram ayollar qo'lini ushlash dinda harom qilingan. Ushbu haqda savol Oysha onamizga kelganida u kishi: "Ollohga qasamki, Olloh Payg'ambarining qo'li hech qachon biror (nomahram) ayol qo'liga tekkan emas, bay'at vaqtida (ayollar u zotga bay'at bergali kelganlarida): bay'atlaringizni qabul etdim, degan so'z bilan bay'at qilardilar" der edilar.

[Sirena]

Odatda qo'l berib so'rashaman, hint, yapon va boshqa qo'l berib sorashmidgan millatlar bor, ular bilan qo'l berib so'rashmasa ham bo'ladi.
Bitta narsa, juda qattiq qo'l siqib so'rashadigan ayollarni yoqtirmiman, huddi qanchalik qattiq so'rashsa shunchalik kuchli, dinamik ekanligi ko'rsatgandey.Mani managerim (ayol) qo'l bermidigan erkaklarni yomon ko'radi, businessda ayolni tan olmaslik deb biladi.

[wow_kabob]

businesda qol berip kureshish shart

[uzbekcfa2]

another "brilliant" thread after what you do with used oil thread/:lol:

[Dr_Didro]

Qirolning qilig'i biror mazhabda dinda dalil bo'lmaydi.
Qirolning emas, katta-katta ulamolarning ham, hatto sahobalarni ko'rib qolgan yirik salaf ulamolarining ham birortasining qilgan ishi dinda dalil bo'lmaydi. Ulamolar faqat bir joyda ixtilof qilishgan. Islom dini tarqalgan Madinada sahobalar davridan keyin o'sha Madina ahli (ulamolar) barchasi qilgan ish dinga dalil bo'ladimi yo'qmi, shunda ixtilof qilganlar. Ba'zilar (imom Molik va u kishiga ergashgan boshqa ulamolar) Madina ahli (ulamolari)ning qilgan ishlari (ya'ni sahobalardan keyingi davrdagi, bu davr bor-yo'g'i 30-40 yil davom etgan) dinda dalil bo'ladi, deyishsa, boshqa ko'plab ulamolar (bular ichida 3 mazhab ulamolari, minglab boshqa ulamolar) yo'q, dalil bo'lmaydi, deganlar.

Shuning uchun biron bir din peshvosi qilgan ishni ko'rib, o'sha ishning Islomda qay hukmga ega ekanini bilmay turib, dindan deb yuborish bo'lmaydi. Podsholarniku, endi asti qo'yaverasiz.

Bu boradagi din hukmi: nomahram ayollar qo'lini ushlash dinda harom qilingan. Ushbu haqda savol Oysha onamizga kelganida u kishi: "Ollohga qasamki, Olloh Payg'ambarining qo'li hech qachon biror (nomahram) ayol qo'liga tekkan emas, bay'at vaqtida (ayollar u zotga bay'at bergali kelganlarida): bay'atlaringizni qabul etdim, degan so'z bilan bay'at qilardilar" der edilar.



Birodari aziz, din peshvolarining qilmishlari ibrat bo'lmog'i lozim, degan fikr yo'q edi menda. Aytmoqchi bo'lganim har bir odam o'z kechinmasidan, diniy, dunyoviy bilmidan kelib chiqib ish tutmog'i lozim.

Masalan, o'zbeklarda qo'lni ko'ksiga qo'yib so'rashish ham madaniy an'ana ham odat. Yaponlar yarim ruku shaklida egiladi, hindlar qo'lini jipslashtirib peshonasiga olib keladi :)

Madaniyat va odatlar turlicha. Biroq bizning dinda bu bekor qilingan, gunoh, harom degan narsa yo'q. Payg'ambarimiz ummati ekanmiz ular urf qilgan ishlarni o'zimizga ibrat tutamiz. Bunga shubxam yo'q. Biroq o'sha madaniyatlar hilma-xilligidan kelib chiqib agar biror rasmiy, biznes yig'lishida sizga bir ayol hurmat yuzasidan qo'l cho'zib kelsa, sizdan katta bo'lsa (aytaylik u sizning urflaringizdan xabari yo'q) uning qo'lini qaytarib, rad etish ham hurmatsizlik, ham dilni og'ritish bo'ladi. Dilni og'ritish esa islomda, ka'bani vayron qilishga qiyoslanadi.

Zamonlar o'zgaryapti ming asrlar oldin kiyilgan kiyimni hozir kiymaysiz. O'sha davrda tuya minilgan bo'lsa hozir mashinangiz bor, yoki hali ham tuyani hush ko'rasizmi? Mashinani harom demaymizu? Huddi shunga o'xshab odat va urflar assimilyaciyasini ham rad etmaslik lozim.

Dast bakor-u, dil bayor... ayol kishiga qo'l berib do'zax a'zobiga duchor bo'lasan degan oyat, sura bormi? Astag'firilloh! Shu sabab masalaga kengroq qarash tarafdoriman.

[Falcon]

Dr_Didro, siz urf odat, an'ana vakz lar bilan Islom DINIni aralashtirib yubormang

sizga bir, tushunishiz uchun misol, aytaylik, ruslarda har ovqatlangandan keyin 30 gr dan qitte-qitte qilish odat (bu bir faraz) , endi biror rus odam islom dinini qabul qildi, shunda u "bizda alcohol ichish odat, men odatimni tashamiman" diydimi? shunaqa deb harom narsani ichib yuruvradimi?

keyin siz tuyani misol keltiribsiz, ISLOM DINI da "tuya minilsin" degan gap yo'q, yoki "musulmon odam sahroda yurish kerek" degan gap ham yo'q, lekin "qo'lni begona ayollarni qo'liga tekkizmaslik kerak" degan g'oya bor, buni bizga OLLOH harom qilgan!
agar biror kimsa dindagi HAROM narsalarni "halol" qib bersa, o'sha kimsani yahudlardan farqi qolmabdi.

[crescent]

another "brilliant" thread after what you do with used oil thread/:lol:

at least it's not as bad as the one about ironning the socks. that thread was really popular though. :lol:

[wow_kabob]

Dr_Didro botta den haqida hichqanaqa gap ketvotkani yoq ku nimaga har doyim denni qoshasila denni qoshsiz undan oldin uzizde aveyaterizga qarin u kimni rasmi

[Uyyonli]

Interesting....so do you think that not shaking hands will make your conversation more difficult then?
dude should women refuse to shake your hand when you lay your hand?:rolleyes:

[Dr_Didro]

Dr_Didro, siz urf odat, an'ana vakz lar bilan Islom DINIni aralashtirib yubormang

sizga bir, tushunishiz uchun misol, aytaylik, ruslarda har ovqatlangandan keyin 30 gr dan qitte-qitte qilish odat (bu bir faraz) , endi biror rus odam islom dinini qabul qildi, shunda u "bizda alcohol ichish odat, men odatimni tashamiman" diydimi? shunaqa deb harom narsani ichib yuruvradimi?

keyin siz tuyani misol keltiribsiz, ISLOM DINI da "tuya minilsin" degan gap yo'q, yoki "musulmon odam sahroda yurish kerek" degan gap ham yo'q, lekin "qo'lni begona ayollarni qo'liga tekkizmaslik kerak" degan g'oya bor, buni bizga OLLOH harom qilgan!
agar biror kimsa dindagi HAROM narsalarni "halol" qib bersa, o'sha kimsani yahudlardan farqi qolmabdi.

Falcon janoblari siz endi umuman mavzuni ag'darvordingiz. Chap oyoq bilan o'ng quloqni qashish bilan barobar gap bo'ldi.

Urf-odat bilan illatni aralashtirmang. Aroq ichish madaniy meros emas, illat hisoblanadi. Bunday notog'ri hulosalarga bormaslik uchun sizga ko'proq kitob o'qishni maslaxat beraman, ayniqsa Islom tarixi borasida.

Islomda harom deb, insonga ziyon keltiruvchi unsir, salomatligi va hayot tarzini yomonlashtiruvchi omillar qabul qilingan. Masalaga ko'r-ko'rana yondashmasdan dalil, isbot, talqin bilan qarash kerak.

Nomahramga tegish so'zi, majoziy ma'noda ham keladi. Va ko'proq jinsiy munosabatlarga, shaxvoniy hayyolarga taqiq qo'yadi. Shu sababdan man so'radim qani sura bormi deb? Alloh nomi bilan soxta ish tutmasdan, o'z ongingiz bilan yondashishni o'rgansak yaxshi bo'larmidi!

P.S: Islomda tuya minilsin, minilmasin deb qachon aytdim? Islom va tuyani biriktirgan gapimni eslay olmayapman. Man aytmapgan gaplarni yoqamga yopishtirmasangiz iltimos! Omad!

[Maroon]

at least it's not as bad as the one about ironning the socks. that thread was really popular though. :lol:

How dare you insult my thread about socks? :lol: You should be ashamed. :twisted:

[Dr_Didro]

Dr_Didro botta den haqida hichqanaqa gap ketvotkani yoq ku nimaga har doyim denni qoshasila denni qoshsiz undan oldin uzizde aveyaterizga qarin u kimni rasmi

Kimning rasmi ekan? Yuviqsiz, dini yo'q, g'irt ablah va isnodchi odamning rasmi ekanmi?

[Dr_Didro]

How dare you insult my thread about socks? :lol: You should be ashamed. :twisted:

And all headache is about to allow or not for women to shake guys hands? Did you you leave any comments on that?

[wow_kabob]

Kimning rasmi ekan? Yuviqsiz, dini yo'q, g'irt ablah va isnodchi odamning rasmi ekanmi?



Tugri etkanlariz lekin botta umoman boshqacha savol berilgan edi ku Qul berip kurishsa bulademi dep Utta etilmaganku denda nima deyilgan dep

[Dr_Didro]

Tugri etkanlariz lekin botta umoman boshqacha savol berilgan edi ku Qul berip kurishsa bulademi dep Utta etilmaganku denda nima deyilgan dep

Birodar tepadan bir tekis o'qib chiqing, din mavzusini man ko'tarmadim shekilli ;)

[uzbekcfa2]

should a lady shake a hand....damn...i dont even ask this question even when im goddamn bored...:)

the answer is as long as her hand is not broken or unsanitized, she should. phew...what a question, dude!:)

[Maroon]

And all headache is about to allow or not for women to shake guys hands? Did you you leave any comments on that?

I personally do not see anything wrong in shaking hands when necessary.

[Dr_Didro]

I personally do not see anything wrong in shaking hands when necessary.

Thanks God... somebody on my side... :) That's what I am trying to explain!

[wow_kabob]

Thanks God... somebody on my side... :) That's what I am trying to explain!



LOL bu gap sizga tegishlik mas hursan bumin ;) (hazil) Domla

[Shambles]

Once I counted that I shook 67 hands in one day, though I didnt distinguish between male and female hands... I washed my hands several times after that and not so willing to shake people's hands since then... However, whether I want it or not in Uzbekistan I have to shake loads of hands usually.... Who knows what people do with their hands and what kinda bacteria they are cultivating...:rolleyes:

[Glance]

Voted for No. Etiket qoidalaridan ko'ra, dinim hukmi muhimroq. Har qanday inson ham boshqa bir insonning shaxsiy fikri va ishonchlarini hurmat qila bilishi kerak. Hafa bo'lsa, bo'la qolsin. :) Qornim og'rimaydi. Ko'pgina userlar aytib o'tganidek, haqiqiy etiketta avval ayol qo'lini berishi kerak ekan. Demak, biz hech ham kimlardur juda yuqori qo'yadigan etiketni buzmayapmiz, qaytangi qo'lini hammaga beraveradiganlarga "etiketni bilmas ekan" dip qo'yaman endi. Ja yaxshi narsa o'rganvoldim :D Forum zo'rde. Vek jivi, vek uchis' didiyu.

PS. O'zi romollilaga nisbatan odamla har hil harakatlar qilishga qo'rqadiyam, hayiqadiyam qo'l uzatmidi hech kim. Diniga qattiq amal qiladi, u-bu noj'oya harakat qilib qo'ymay, da'vat qip qomasin disa kere :mrgreen:

[Samimiy]

Shaking hands is overrated anyway :)

[Uyyonli]

fine :evil: don't shake my hand :)

[Hibiscus]

How dare you insult my thread about socks? :lol: You should be ashamed. :twisted:

i guess we have to put u on the list of "WONDER GIRLS" :lol: btw your thread about socks was not that bad....;)

[uzbekcfa2]

I wanna shake someone's hand right now so badly:twisted:

[Prince]

I wanna shake someone's hand right now so badly:twisted:


Just do it.... ;)

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/3295/womanhandmouse180144qb6.jpg


P.S Manikuri - chiroyli ekan :?

[Black]

I just hate when women want to shake my hand ... Damn, what a stupid tradition it is. They think that they are in an official or business meeting and they have to shake every men's hand. And I also hate when men want to women's hand. Have you ever watched how boys and girls in schools and colleges, universities greet each other? They (girls and boys) shake each other's hands. Oh my God, it looks so freaking stupid and weird to see a girl shaking hand with a boy. What a culture it is? Where it came from? Don't say from russians, because they don't do it (in schools, colleges, universities). Who taught them to shake hands with opposite gender? It is soooooooo unUzbekish, unethical.

[uzbekcfa2]

that's right. actually a guy should shake a hand only when a woman stretches her hand first. and there is nothing wrong in it if you dont stretch your hand. dont wanna shake my hand? fine!:D

but in the west, it's normal that women shake hands. it's just a sign of professionalism. just look at even hillary clinton, im sure she shakes thousands of hands per month:D

people should be aware of the fact that they have to act professional if they work among professionals. If you dont feel comfortable for religious or cultural reasons, you should not be ashamed of not shaking hands. but really I cant stand too much stuck up people who think shaking hands is a sin.

I would add something more, but Im afraid I may hurt some feelings. So i better shut up.:)


Voted for No. Etiket qoidalaridan ko'ra, dinim hukmi muhimroq. Har qanday inson ham boshqa bir insonning shaxsiy fikri va ishonchlarini hurmat qila bilishi kerak. Hafa bo'lsa, bo'la qolsin. :) Qornim og'rimaydi. Ko'pgina userlar aytib o'tganidek, haqiqiy etiketta avval ayol qo'lini berishi kerak ekan. Demak, biz hech ham kimlardur juda yuqori qo'yadigan etiketni buzmayapmiz, qaytangi qo'lini hammaga beraveradiganlarga "etiketni bilmas ekan" dip qo'yaman endi. Ja yaxshi narsa o'rganvoldim :D Forum zo'rde. Vek jivi, vek uchis' didiyu.

PS. O'zi romollilaga nisbatan odamla har hil harakatlar qilishga qo'rqadiyam, hayiqadiyam qo'l uzatmidi hech kim. Diniga qattiq amal qiladi, u-bu noj'oya harakat qilib qo'ymay, da'vat qip qomasin disa kere :mrgreen:

[Black]

Birodari aziz, din peshvolarining qilmishlari ibrat bo'lmog'i lozim, degan fikr yo'q edi menda. Aytmoqchi bo'lganim har bir odam o'z kechinmasidan, diniy, dunyoviy bilmidan kelib chiqib ish tutmog'i lozim.

Masalan, o'zbeklarda qo'lni ko'ksiga qo'yib so'rashish ham madaniy an'ana ham odat. Yaponlar yarim ruku shaklida egiladi, hindlar qo'lini jipslashtirib peshonasiga olib keladi :)

Madaniyat va odatlar turlicha. Biroq bizning dinda bu bekor qilingan, gunoh, harom degan narsa yo'q. Payg'ambarimiz ummati ekanmiz ular urf qilgan ishlarni o'zimizga ibrat tutamiz. Bunga shubxam yo'q. Biroq o'sha madaniyatlar hilma-xilligidan kelib chiqib agar biror rasmiy, biznes yig'lishida sizga bir ayol hurmat yuzasidan qo'l cho'zib kelsa, sizdan katta bo'lsa (aytaylik u sizning urflaringizdan xabari yo'q) uning qo'lini qaytarib, rad etish ham hurmatsizlik, ham dilni og'ritish bo'ladi. Dilni og'ritish esa islomda, ka'bani vayron qilishga qiyoslanadi.

Zamonlar o'zgaryapti ming asrlar oldin kiyilgan kiyimni hozir kiymaysiz. O'sha davrda tuya minilgan bo'lsa hozir mashinangiz bor, yoki hali ham tuyani hush ko'rasizmi? Mashinani harom demaymizu? Huddi shunga o'xshab odat va urflar assimilyaciyasini ham rad etmaslik lozim.

Dast bakor-u, dil bayor... ayol kishiga qo'l berib do'zax a'zobiga duchor bo'lasan degan oyat, sura bormi? Astag'firilloh! Shu sabab masalaga kengroq qarash tarafdoriman.


Didro, Islom Payg'ambarimiz Muhammad :saws: davrlarida mukammal bo'lgan, shuning uchun, "urf-odatlar o'zgarayapti" va hakazo bahonalar to'g'ri emas. Ot, tuya, mashina, samolet masalalari bilan qo'l berib ko'rishish masalasini solishitirish o'zi umuman noto'g'ri. Chunki, Islomda tehnika, tehnologiya rivojlanishidan foydalanishga taqiq (zapret) yo'q. Ot minib yashaysanmi, yoki moshina haydabmi, bu masalalar ahamiyati ikkinchi yoki o'ninchi o'rinda turadi. Lekin, urf-odatlar, qilinadigan amallar, harakatlar, ularning ostidagi niyatlar birinchi o'rindagi eng ahamiyatli masala. Masalan, kiyim kiyish, bayramlarni nishonlash, bular odatlarga asoslanadi, va bu masalalardan Islom dinining aniq va tiniq ko'rsatmalari bor. Bu ko'rsatmalar vaqt o'tishi bilan o'zgarmaydi. Agar kimki o'zgaradi deb hisoblasa, yoki 14 asr oldin kelgan hukmlar hozirgi kunga to'g'ri kelmaydi deb hisoblasa qattiq yanglishadi, Allohni Muhammad :saws: dan 14 asrdan keyin nima bo'lishi bilmaslikda ayblagan hisoblanadi (astag'furilloh), Islom Payg'ambarimiz :saws: davrlarida mukammal (perfect) bo'lmagan degan gapni aytgan bo'ladi. Shuning uchun bunday masalalardan ehtiyot bo'lish kerak, va birorta masalani chuqur bilmasdan turib hukm chiqarib tashlamaslik kerak.

Falcon janoblari siz endi umuman mavzuni ag'darvordingiz. Chap oyoq bilan o'ng quloqni qashish bilan barobar gap bo'ldi.

Urf-odat bilan illatni aralashtirmang. Aroq ichish madaniy meros emas, illat hisoblanadi. Bunday notog'ri hulosalarga bormaslik uchun sizga ko'proq kitob o'qishni maslaxat beraman, ayniqsa Islom tarixi borasida.

Islomda harom deb, insonga ziyon keltiruvchi unsir, salomatligi va hayot tarzini yomonlashtiruvchi omillar qabul qilingan. Masalaga ko'r-ko'rana yondashmasdan dalil, isbot, talqin bilan qarash kerak.

Nomahramga tegish so'zi, majoziy ma'noda ham keladi. Va ko'proq jinsiy munosabatlarga, shaxvoniy hayyolarga taqiq qo'yadi. Shu sababdan man so'radim qani sura bormi deb? Alloh nomi bilan soxta ish tutmasdan, o'z ongingiz bilan yondashishni o'rgansak yaxshi bo'larmidi!

P.S: Islomda tuya minilsin, minilmasin deb qachon aytdim? Islom va tuyani biriktirgan gapimni eslay olmayapman. Man aytmapgan gaplarni yoqamga yopishtirmasangiz iltimos! Omad!

that's right. actually a guy should shake a hand only when a woman stretches her hand first. and there is nothing wrong in it if you dont stretch your hand. dont wanna shake my hand? fine!:D

but in the west, it's normal that women shake hands. it's just a sign of professionalism. just look at even hillary clinton, im sure she shakes thousands of hands per month:D

people should be aware of the fact that they have to act professional if they work among professionals. If you dont feel comfortable for religious or cultural reasons, you should not be ashamed of not shaking hands. but really I cant stand too much stuck up people who think shaking hands is a sin.

I would add something more, but Im afraid I may hurt some feelings. So i better shut up.:)

Pastda nomahramlarning qo'l berib ko'rishishi gunoh emas deganlarni gaplariga javob sifatida fatwo keltirmoqchiman. O'qing va Uqing.

Below, I am posting a fatwa regarding unpermissibility of shaking hands opposite gender as a reply to those who think it is not a sin. Read and Comprehend.

http://islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=2459&ln=eng&txt=shaking%20hands

Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex

Question:
Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands?

Answer:


Praise be to Allaah.

For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045).

There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: “So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).

Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

[Maroon]

unsanitized,

What is the difference shaking hands of of few men in a day or using a public computer (keyboard) or opening door knobs. Same thing. All of them are touched my hundreds of people. I mean, keyboards are dirtier than public toilets. :D

I carry around hand gel sanitizers with me. :nod: :D

[Uzbekxonim]

another "brilliant" thread after what you do with used oil thread/:lol:

another "brilliant" critic of threads :lol:

[Shambles]

I wanna shake someone's hand right now so badly:twisted:

Are you shaking???:D

[alpum]

What is the difference shaking hands of of few men in a day or using a public computer (keyboard) or opening door knobs. Same thing. All of them are touched my hundreds of people. I mean, keyboards are dirtier than public toilets. :D

I carry around hand gel sanitizers with me. :nod: :D

Наверное пара уже обратится к психологу.

брезгливость это начальные симптомы шизофринии;)

[Maroon]

Наверное пара уже обратится к психологу.

брезгливость это начальные симптомы шизофринии;)

Hodit s hand gel sanitizer eto ne znachit chto chelovek brezglivoy. Vi chto kogda hodite v kafe ili restoran vi ne idete v tualet ruki mit? Eto toje samoe, no tolko na mnogo udobnee. It is called being hygienic.

BTW, you must mean OCD not schizophrenia. Two different things. And it is better to see a psychatrist or clinical psychologist than just a psychologist in such cases. ;)

[Frida]

that's right. actually a guy should shake a hand only when a woman stretches her hand first. and there is nothing wrong in it if you dont stretch your hand. dont wanna shake my hand? fine!:D

but in the west, it's normal that women shake hands. it's just a sign of professionalism. just look at even hillary clinton, im sure she shakes thousands of hands per month:D

people should be aware of the fact that they have to act professional if they work among professionals. If you dont feel comfortable for religious or cultural reasons, you should not be ashamed of not shaking hands. but really I cant stand too much stuck up people who think shaking hands is a sin.

I would add something more, but Im afraid I may hurt some feelings. So i better shut up.:)

I think what Black is saying is different from what you are talking about. Reading Black's post I remembered that in our schools and universities many people actually shake hands every single day when they see each other. With guys it is ok, I guess cause it is in our culture. However, girls greeting each other every single day by shaking hands with other girls or with guys does look weird (I think).

I shake hands when I am introduced to someone first time (here) but in Uzbekistan I just nod my head slightly and say "Yaxshimisiz?". That is all. I am hesitant to shake hands in Uzbekistan, unless of course it is a professional environment. Then it is a must too (I think), and usually in Uzbekistan men stretch their arm/hand first :) so you have no choice :)

:) I remembered my Spanish and Argentinian friends convinced me that in their culture friends kiss (on the cheek) every time they greet each other and say goodbye. :) in Tashkent it was weird. We decided to go with Uzbek culture. But when I was in their group I would get kisses anyways. It was quite weird... much weirder than hand shakes :)

[Inspiredmind]

I think what Black is saying is different from what you are talking about. Reading Black's post I remembered that in our schools and universities many people actually shake hands every single day when they see each other. With guys it is ok, I guess cause it is in our culture. However, girls greeting each other every single day by shaking hands with other girls or with guys does look weird (I think).

I shake hands when I am introduced to someone first time (here) but in Uzbekistan I just nod my head slightly and say "Yaxshimisiz?". That is all. I am hesitant to shake hands in Uzbekistan, unless of course it is a professional environment. Then it is a must too (I think), and usually in Uzbekistan men stretch their arm/hand first :) so you have no choice :)

:) I remembered my Spanish and Argentinian friends convinced me that in their culture friends kiss (on the cheek) every time they greet each other and say goodbye. :) in Tashkent it was weird. We decided to go with Uzbek culture. But when I was in their group I would get kisses anyways. It was quite weird... much weirder than hand shakes :)

what do u mean by that words?

[Frida]

what do u mean by that words?

job interview, conferences, somebody introduces you to someone in your job, etc.

but if (lets say) my mom introduces me to some "long lost relative" or some person with who she worked for a long time, i do not think i would shake hands with him.

[Demir Kağan]

Actually, in our school, we were kissing each other and that was not a problem but with strangers, only shaking hand is enough. :D

[Sankoz]

Dear Forumers,

There are a lot of working ladies in the modern world.
The etiquet rules of a business world is mostly set bu men.

Therefore, let's share opinions in this thread if a Lady should shake a hand. If yes or no, then why?

One of the answers should be "It depends"

[StU]

I usually shake a hand, in Uzb. too.
But I find it charming when a man kisses a hand instead of shaking :uups:, it is so aristocratic.

[Inspiredmind]

I usually shake a hand, in Uzb. too.
But I find it charming when a man kisses a hand instead of shaking :uups:, it is so aristocratic.


it is so stupid, sorry for that. do u know how kyrgyz guys greetings with hands and heads?:)

[uzbekcfa2]

once i was in a quite funny situation...here in america. I was told a very good news by a friend and I dont know why i did it...probably because that was such a relieving news to me and i was extremely happy...I hugged her and said "I love you so much":lol:...she was like...laughing:D

Im sure if it would be in uzb, i would get :shock: look and maybe a slap on my face:lol:

[Uyyonli]

I usually shake a hand, in Uzb. too.
But I find it charming when a man kisses a hand instead of shaking :uups:, it is so aristocratic.
so u rated me 1 not because religious thoughts :rolleyes:

[Uyyonli]

I wouldn't kiss anyone's hand if they are not my gf or wife or a friend that I know of...

[crescent]

I usually shake a hand, in Uzb. too.
But I find it charming when a man kisses a hand instead of shaking :uups:, it is so aristocratic.

No way! I can't understand why would someone kiss ones hand? I do understand kissing parent's or grandparent's hands, but not stranger's. For me it is such an ugly tradition. :?

[StU]

No way! I can't understand why would someone kiss ones hand? I do understand kissing parent's or grandparent's hands, but not stranger's. For me it is such an ugly tradition. :?

everyone has it's own point of view :cool:

[Uyyonli]

everyone has it's own point of view :cool:
what about my question? :?

[fidis]

I think this should help solve your question :D

It is a scientifically proven fact :D

YouTube - better than shaking hands

[Uyyonli]

I think this should help solve your question :D

It is a scientifically proven fact :D

YouTube - better than shaking hands (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aHGtgaXQQ0)
sharmanda :-D

[Пушкарева]

You mean any man greeting you? I dont like it. If a special person, then yes. But not anyone.


Also, I get confused when turkish people do cheek kiss with everyone, even strangers. They dont have that gender wall so when you meet people, instead of handshaking or just saying "Hi", most of them give a kiss. I dont like it. Find it acceptable only if there is very close friendly or family relation in between. So is in our culture - among relatives, or relatives of the relatives. Everyone kisses and hugs you even if they see you for the first time ever.

I'd prefer handshaking, even if I get germs.

PS: Sorry if I got slitely off topic.


I usually shake a hand, in Uzb. too.
But I find it charming when a man kisses a hand instead of shaking :uups:, it is so aristocratic.

[StU]

what about my question? :?

1. I'm against the war
2. I didn't like the foto

nothing personal

[fidis]

sharmanda :-D

but hey it does answer her question, init? :D

there is always a third option. in her poll it was I don't know, my answer is we do know :D

[Demir Kağan]

You mean any man greeting you? I dont like it. If a special person, then yes. But not anyone.


Also, I get confused when turkish people do cheek kiss with everyone, even strangers. They dont have that gender wall so when you meet people, instead of handshaking or just saying "Hi", most of them give a kiss. I dont like it. Find it acceptable only if there is very close friendly or family relation in between. So is in our culture - among relatives, or relatives of the relatives. Everyone kisses and hugs you even if they see you for the first time ever.

I'd prefer handshaking, even if I get germs.

PS: Sorry if I got slitely off topic.

Really? Because we do not kiss everyone we do not know closely.

[Пушкарева]

Well here you do. :) Or, maybe the point to clarify is the definition "know closely".

For instance, if you've seen/met a Turkish person once, next meeting s/he gives you a "hi"/"bye" kiss. I am ok with girls, but dont like guys doing that.

Really? Because we do not kiss everyone we do not know closely.

[fidis]

i will be honest in europe, i had some problems at first hugging girls saying goodbye or hello. somehow i got used to that with time.

[Demir Kağan]

Well here you do. :) Or, maybe the point to clarify is the definition "know closely".

For instance, if you've seen/met a Turkish person once, next meeting s/he gives you a "hi"/"bye" kiss. I am ok with girls, but dont like guys doing that.

As a Turk from Turkey, me, my friends, my family, my relatives, everyone I know and everyone they know do not kiss a person if they do not know him/her, just shaking hands is ok but if they are Turks like that, its so weird.

By the way, those guys may like you. :lol:

[crescent]

Well here you do. :) Or, maybe the point to clarify is the definition "know closely".

For instance, if you've seen/met a Turkish person once, next meeting s/he gives you a "hi"/"bye" kiss. I am ok with girls, but dont like guys doing that.

it's not really true. Girls never kiss each other next time they meet. Guys do not do it at all. Guy may kiss a girl if they are really really close friends and are of the same age. And it is not a kiss, just kinda cheek touch.

[Пушкарева]

Well, yeah, I mean that - cheek touch, light kiss.

Hmmm, american Turkish do do that.

it's not really true. Girls never kiss each other next time they meet. Guys do not do it at all. Guy may kiss a girl if they are really really close friends and are of the same age. And it is not a kiss, just kinda cheek touch.

[crescent]

Well, yeah, I mean that - cheek touch, light kiss.

Hmmm, american Turkish do do that.

As Demir Kagan has said, maybe those guys like you, that's why they are spoiling for kissing you :D

[Пушкарева]

Guys, they do it with everyone. Not with me only.


As Demir Kagan has said, maybe those guys like you, that's why they are spoiling for kissing you :D

[Demir Kağan]

They like everyone then! :D

[fidis]

i have always been taught at home that if you meet a lady you gotta wait for her to give you her hand for shaking, so initiative should come from her. but i know that many elder people never hand-shake in UZB, they keep a distance and put their hand on their chest.

In France I learned to kiss ladies when greeting. And once you are in such a community it would not make much of a difference or there wouldnot be much fuss about it. of course, one cannot compare that to UZB. as they say, there is a difference between a tahorat of a townie and a city dweller :D

[wow_kabob]

Uzbekistan. va boshqa shaharlaham yaqin odammi bilan Bolla upiship kureshadi ula nimasi yomon buni

[fidis]

relatives it is another issue.
people kiss their relatives also in other countries too. in france even colleagues kiss each other. know that from my own experience :D

[Demir Kağan]

Oh man, it seems that kissing thing impressed you really too much. :lol: