Pochemu muzhchini izmenyaut svoim zhenam...

[Umidka]

Dorogie nashi muzhcine i obledennie dami)...kak vi dumaete pochemu muzhchina izmenyaet svoey supruge...chego im ne hvataet ??? Lubvi vnimaniya spokoystviya zaboti ...ili zhe??

[Пушкарева]

Proshu pardon, kakiye dami? "obdelyonniye", "obledeneliye", "obaldenniye", kakieee? :) (jk)

On: horoshiy vopros, mne toje interesno chego ubekskim muzhyam (majority of young, not all) ne hvataet.

Sama zhe dumayu, skoree vsego, spice in relationship, skuchno stanovitsya s zhenami. Poetomu zheni doljni vechno rabotat nad vsemi aspektami svoyey lichnosti, chtobi mujyam bilo s nimi interesno. Vsegda. Nelegkiy i postoyanniy trud. Chto-to vrode vechnogo mehanisma. Once you give up (otpustish richag) and he'll find something more appealing aside. IMO.



Dorogie nashi muzhcine i obledennie dami)...kak vi dumaete pochemu muzhchina izmenyaet svoey supruge...chego im ne hvataet ??? Lubvi vnimaniya spokoystviya zaboti ...ili zhe??

[Umidka]

Da uzh Nezabudka prihodit moment v semeynoy zhizni kogda suprugi ustaut durg ot druga ...i eto ne tolko muzhchin ili zhe zhenshin oshibka nado obeim dumat i razmishlyat chto oni provoronili)

[AL-Midwest]

We guys cheat because we do not really use our head at certain moment, we use our a.s ... i guess it's just a pure animal instinct-)

[Dogatc]

Pardon :evil:
pochemu VSE jenshini tak dumayut "chto mujchini izmenyayut"
a chto Jenshini ne izmenyayut ?
naprimer:
vse vrode normalno kak i u vseh
Mujchina zarabativaet $$$ soderjivaet i vdrug jena ili devushka ili nevesta uhodit ot nego :( i ne ob'yasnyat a u nee davno uje drugoy....
i potom govaryat chto VSE mujchi svolachi i izmenyayut da ?:evil:
kogda sama jeshina vinovata v etom .......:x

[Umidka]

Dogats znaesh eto tozhe verno...mi tozhe ne bez greha no slavo Allahu eto sluchaetsya redko v Musulmanskih semyah...mozhet zhenshinam ne hvataet zaboti i vnimaniya...osobenno kogda muzh pogruzhen rabotoy i ne udelyaet vremeni zhene...ili zhe ona mstit emu potomuchto on hodit na levo...

[Ma'ruf]

Pardon :evil:
pochemu VSE jenshini tak dumayut "chto mujchini izmenyayut"
a chto Jenshini ne izmenyayut ?
naprimer:
vse vrode normalno kak i u vseh
Mujchina zarabativaet $$$ soderjivaet i vdrug jena ili devushka ili nevesta uhodit ot nego :( i ne ob'yasnyat a u nee davno uje drugoy....
i potom govaryat chto VSE mujchi svolachi i izmenyayut da ?:evil:
kogda sama jeshina vinovata v etom .......:x

Zhenskaya izmena ponyatiye ochen' redko vstrechayusheyesya v Uzbekskoy(musul'manskoy) kul'ture.IMHO. Zhenskaya izmena ne proshayetsya...

[Dogatc]

no kak ona mojet dogazat chto On hodit na levo ?
On veren ey tolka ey, On lyubit toka ee,no ona ne vit etogo,potamushta on zanit rabotoy,no ona dumaet chto on hodit na levo.
no on je ne mojet vse vremya sidet ryadom sney i nyanchitsya,doljan je on rabotat i soderjat.....

[Dogatc]

Zhenskaya izmena ponyatiye ochen' redko vstrechayusheyesya v Uzbekskoy(musul'manskoy) kul'ture.IMHO. Zhenskaya izmena ne proshayetsya...
ya s toboy soglas.
prosta ne lyublyu kogdagovaryat pro nas takoe :cool: kogda esli eto ne pravda

[Пушкарева]

a muzhskaya? eto normalno?


Zhenskaya izmena ne proshayetsya...

[handalak]

Guys, let's find the answer in religion. Davaite podumaem, pochemu mujchine -musulmaninu (with some conditions) pozvolyaetsya poligamiya, a jenshine net?

[Ma'ruf]

a muzhskaya? eto normalno?

Chehov govoril chto ''Izmenivshaya zhena - eto bolshaya holodnaya kotleta, kotoruyu ne hochetsya trogat', potomu chto yeyo uzhe derzhal v rukah kto-to druoy''. Nu vmesto slova ''zhena'' mozhno vstavit' slova devushka,nevesta i tak dalee. Ya ne govoryu chto Chehov poslednaya instanciya v etom voprose.No eta fraza dovol'no tochno otrazhaet chuvstva i oshusheniya muzhchini kotoromu izmenili.:) To est' muzhchina chuvstvuyet chto-to napodobii otvrasheniya...

A u zhenshin ya dumayu ne takie rezkiye chuvstva nachet etogo...Nu ya tak dumayu!:P

[Legend]

Guys, let's find the answer in religion. Davaite podumaem, pochemu mujchine -musulmaninu (with some conditions) pozvolyaetsya poligamiya, a jenshine net?
Ti rassujdayesh pryam kak jenshina, hotya v gender skazano "male" :)

[Dogatc]

Ti rassujdayesh pryam kak jenshina, hotya v gender skazano "male" :)
a mojet on transvestit :laugh:

[Arhimed]

Proshu pardon, kakiye dami? "obdelyonniye", "obledeneliye", "obaldenniye", kakieee? :) (jk)

On: horoshiy vopros, mne toje interesno chego ubekskim muzhyam (majority of young, not all) ne hvataet.

Sama zhe dumayu, skoree vsego, spice in relationship, skuchno stanovitsya s zhenami. Poetomu zheni doljni vechno rabotat nad vsemi aspektami svoyey lichnosti, chtobi mujyam bilo s nimi interesno. Vsegda. Nelegkiy i postoyanniy trud. Chto-to vrode vechnogo mehanisma. Once you give up (otpustish richag) and he'll find something more appealing aside. IMO.

otvet prost. Statisticheski muzin bolshe chem jenshin

vo vtorih u nas jenyat ne vsegda po svoimu viboru, vot i prihoditsya potom iskat utushenie v obyatiyah drugih dam

[Legend]

otvet prost. Statisticheski muzin bolshe chem jenshin

vo vtorih u nas jenyat ne vsegda po svoimu viboru, vot i prihoditsya potom iskat utushenie v obyatiyah drugih dam

Statisticheski ti ne prav. Mujchin menshe chem jenshin :).

[PainKiller]

U kazhdoy izmeni svoya istoriya. Govorit' za vseh nel'zya. Kto izmenyaet(muzhchina eto ili zhenshina) izza otsutsviya lyubvi doma, drugie prosto ne mogut commit odnomu cheloveku. Za vseh govorit' ne budu. Soblazn on postoyanno est', i esli chelovek ne sil'niy i predanniy to on zaprosto mozhet sovershit' etu oshibku.

[Princess Z]

Mujchini nachinayut izmenyat v bol'shenstve sluchaev, esli ego jenshina stanovitsya prosto neinteresna, t.e perestayot za soboy uhajivat (daje esli ona sidit doma-eto ne excuse), ne udelyaet muju dostatochnogo vnimaniya, kogda s ney vabshe ne o chem pogovorit (on naydet na storone sebe otdushinu prosto poboltat po dusham), chasto eto proishodit ot jenskoy grubosti, prichin dostatochno. Ya vsegda rassujdayu tak, esli chelovek na menya obidelsya ili otnositsya ko mne holodno - znachit ishi otveti v sebe!
A vinit kogo-to v etom prosto net smisla. Mnogie moi podrugi, kotorie obladayut obaldennoy vneshnostyu, podveshenniy yazik, znayut kak sebya vesti v obshestve, prekrasnie hozyayki i v toje vremya starayutsya vsegda pri muje viglyadet na "Ahti" (prekrasno) - ot takih jenshin mujchina vryad li kuda pobejit, a esli i pobejit, to znachit natura u nego takaya "mlyadskaya" :)

[Masanori]

lyubov i sex raznie veshi...izmenyat ne znachit ne lyubit!

[Silence]

Mujchini nachinayut izmenyat v bol'shenstve sluchaev, esli ego jenshina stanovitsya prosto neinteresna, t.e perestayot za soboy uhajivat (daje esli ona sidit doma-eto ne excuse), ne udelyaet muju dostatochnogo vnimaniya, kogda s ney vabshe ne o chem pogovorit (on naydet na storone sebe otdushinu prosto poboltat po dusham), chasto eto proishodit ot jenskoy grubosti, prichin dostatochno. Ya vsegda rassujdayu tak, esli chelovek na menya obidelsya ili otnositsya ko mne holodno - znachit ishi otveti v sebe!
A vinit kogo-to v etom prosto net smisla. Mnogie moi podrugi, kotorie obladayut obaldennoy vneshnostyu, podveshenniy yazik, znayut kak sebya vesti v obshestve, prekrasnie hozyayki i v toje vremya starayutsya vsegda pri muje viglyadet na "Ahti" (prekrasno) - ot takih jenshin mujchina vryad li kuda pobejit, a esli i pobejit, to znachit natura u nego takaya "mlyadskaya" :)

А бывают подлецы изменяют устав от совершенства второй половинки :) Она тебе и умница и красавица и печет, варит-парит и дипломов кучу имеет и прекрасная мать. А ему вдруг как то в вечерочек хочется не яркую жар-птицу, а серенькую шейку :)
Изменяют все по своему и в силу только им известных (а иногда даже и им не известных) причин. Природа такая человеческая - бессильная перед привлекательной соблазнительностью греха :)
Измена ранит, но рана затягивается, вот только рубцуется при этом конечно...

[victoria]

lyubov i sex raznie veshi...izmenyat ne znachit ne lyubit!

soglasno na 100%. lyubov' i seks raznie veshi. u menya 1 iz 10 podrug poluchaet udovolstvie ot seksa, ne govorya uje o tom chtobi vklyuchit svet ili sdelat' raznobrazie. mujchina lyubit glazami. on konechno ne durak chtobi ne ponimat' kogda jena pervaya bejit spat' ili delaet vid chto ey nravitsya( kak mnogie moi podrugi) .voobshem u nas izmenyayut iz za nedostotka znaniy v seksualnim aspekte. tak kak eto schitaetsya tabu, uyat. yogeee hech qachon, nelzya... etc. to chto jena ne dast obyazatel'no dast drugaya.
izmena v zapadnih stranah, net ponyatiya vernosti vo mnogih sluchayah, i kogda 99% devushka/jenshina predlagaet mujchina kotoriy kak bi ne lyubil jenu vsyo ravno izmenit. umniy tot kotoriy delaet eto nikomu ne govorya.
to chto nashi izmenyayut dumayu oshibka oboih, mujchina esli poluchil devstvennicu bud' dobr, rasskaji chto i kak, pokaji, prinesi raznie knigi i vsyo takoe. nu daje esli posle etogo devushka kak brevno to togda uje mojesh' izmenyat s chistoy sovest'yu.
seychas stol'ko literaturi nashyot seksa. ya dumayu ne trudno devushke pered svadboy prochitat' chto tam. elsi chto to ne ponyala sprosit' muja. tut uyat nado postavit' za dver'. tak muj eto tvoya polovinka.
znayu takie sluchai chto jeni sami posilayut mujey posle rojdenie detey, idi gde hochesh' poluchay , tol;ko ne podhodi ko mne. i vsyo eto proishodit ne v kakom to malenkom ubogom zabitom meste. a v tashkente.
u kajdogo raznie ponyatie ob izmene. prosta nado ponyat' nu izmenil, chto mi jeni budem delat', uydyom? razvedyomsya? budem jit' kak ni v chyom ne bivalo?? kak nashyot detey? otvetiv na eti voprosi mojno sdelat' vivod, kak sebya vesti kogda uznaete, pri jelaniii vsegda mojno uznat'. ili budete delat' vid chto ne znaete i jit'.
eto konechno tol'ko moyo mnenie.

[wow_kabob]

wow sila bilan uzi ber uterip gaplashish lek ekan

[NuR_BeK]

lyubov i sex raznie veshi...izmenyat ne znachit ne lyubit!


ndaaa...

k s4astyu ne vse tak s4itayut.

[Пушкарева]

Naschot statistiki: hochu vam skazat devchonki, v blizhayshem budushem nichego horoshego ne predveshaetsya :( sveta v konce tunelya ne vidat'..

Togda chitala concept note of the CIS demographic study, tak vot tam govoritsya chto pomimo seyoznogo stareniya naseleniya europeyskoy chasti CIS + negative population growth i snijeniya rojdaemosti v Central Asia, v budushem kolichestvo mujchin (rojdeniye malchikov) budet esho menshe.

Vot takiye vot vam grustniye prognozi. A eto znachit, spros na muzhchin budet previshat predlozheniye i sledovatelno, mujiki lud'mi stanovitsya osobo i ne budut, a znachit i gulyat menshe toje.

V US demographicheskaya tendenciya naoborot (sama statistiku ne sveryala, no slishala) - jenshine menshe chem muzhchin, vot oni i uvajaemi.

Statisticheski ti ne prav. Mujchin menshe chem jenshin :).

[Royal]

wow sila bilan uzi ber uterip gaplashish lek ekan
diplomin bormi Jinni dohtir degan yoki Jinnilani dohtiri degan ???

man yaqinda omoqchiman diplom : ginekologiydan....ungacham qarap qoyishim mumkin lekin.

[Warrior]

Uh tiy, voobsh'e prodvinutaya diskussiya! Lyudi na glazah rasskrivayutsya i delyatsya svoimi opitami...

А я думаю, что человек ни в коем случае не должен поддаваться соблазну. Девушек навалом, они окружают нас. И на сегодняшний день они легко доступные. Конечно девушки нашего форума не должны принимать это близко к сердцу, т.к. это их не касается, но такоова реальность. У меня много знакомых относящиеся к обеим категориям (ТАКЖЕ КАК И У ВСЕХ), гулящие и не гулящие. Но вот самое интересное, те которые гуляют, всеми способами хотят вас тоже втянуть туда. В малчишник приглашают красоток из расчета 1:1, или даже в сауну!!! Но славо Богу, есть у нас в компании и приличные люди, и потому мы друг другу опора. Конечно, когда рядом сидит полураздетая красотка, очень трудно сдержаться, поэтому лучше не доводить до такого момента и вовремя остановиться. Но вот вопрос, что меня держит? Любовь к моей супруге, к моим детям, боязнь от Аллаха? Большше всего последнее. И я прошу у Аллаха чтобы он хранил меня от таких испытаний и чтобы он усилил мою веру. Наблюдая за такими гулящими, я пришел к выводу, что люди просто ищут повода, чтобы поддатся этому соблазну. Они думают, если жена обиддела, или вообще стерва можно искать утешение вне дома. Но лучше развестись и заново жениться чем так жить.

soglasno na 100%. lyubov' i seks raznie veshi. u menya 1 iz 10 podrug poluchaet udovolstvie ot seksa, ne govorya uje o tom chtobi vklyuchit svet ili sdelat' raznobrazie. mujchina lyubit glazami. on konechno ne durak chtobi ne ponimat' kogda jena pervaya bejit spat' ili delaet vid chto ey nravitsya( kak mnogie moi podrugi) .voobshem u nas izmenyayut iz za nedostotka znaniy v seksualnim aspekte. tak kak eto schitaetsya tabu, uyat. yogeee hech qachon, nelzya... etc. to chto jena ne dast obyazatel'no dast drugaya. <br />...<br />
Вот познакомтесь еще с мнением одной продвинутой узбечки как вы:
http://www.centrasia.ru/newsA.php4?st=1185423240

[Princess Z]

Molodec Warrior, ochen horosho skazal!!!!! Moy tebe respect i thanks :)
Ya vse eshe veryu (vozmojno ostalos nemnogo naivnosti vo mne :)) chto EST', EST' VERNIE mujchini, pravda ih ochen' malo. A pro soblazn ti skazal v temu!
Mne toje naprimer, nravyatsya simpotichnie, visokie, horosho slojennie rebyata, no eto ne oznachaet chto est' srochnaya neobhodimost' poznat drugogo mujchinu i predat svoego lubimogo cheloveka, net uj ya ot takih soblaznov "peshkom" postoyu :))

[PainKiller]

Mujchini nachinayut izmenyat v bol'shenstve sluchaev, esli ego jenshina stanovitsya prosto neinteresna, t.e perestayot za soboy uhajivat (daje esli ona sidit doma-eto ne excuse), ne udelyaet muju dostatochnogo vnimaniya, kogda s ney vabshe ne o chem pogovorit (on naydet na storone sebe otdushinu prosto poboltat po dusham), chasto eto proishodit ot jenskoy grubosti, prichin dostatochno. Ya vsegda rassujdayu tak, esli chelovek na menya obidelsya ili otnositsya ko mne holodno - znachit ishi otveti v sebe!
A vinit kogo-to v etom prosto net smisla. Mnogie moi podrugi, kotorie obladayut obaldennoy vneshnostyu, podveshenniy yazik, znayut kak sebya vesti v obshestve, prekrasnie hozyayki i v toje vremya starayutsya vsegda pri muje viglyadet na "Ahti" (prekrasno) - ot takih jenshin mujchina vryad li kuda pobejit, a esli i pobejit, to znachit natura u nego takaya "mlyadskaya" :)
oy, esli-bi vse bilo nastol'ko prosto. Vneshnost' i interesnaya natura eshe ne garantiya togo chto muzh ili zhena ne budut izmenyat'. Kakaya-bi zhenshina ne bila krasivaya i uhozhennaya, vsegda naydetsya drugaya zhenshina kotoraya namnogo privlekatel'nee i interesnee. Vse opyat' shoditsya k harakteru i sile voli cheloveka. Temptation on vsegda est' i budet, i esli u cheloveka glaza horny and wanting on vsegda naydet prichinu izmenit'. Razve malo primerov kogda muzhchina gulyat ne smotrya na to chto u nego ochen' krasivaya, ochen' interesnaya zhena ili naoborot. U nekotorih lyudey prosta takaya sushnost'. Hochetsya pogulyat'.
Ya ne govoryu chto poroy nedostatok lyubvi ili vnimaniya doma, plyus ravnodushie partnera/partnershi k vneshnemu obliku stanovitsya prichinoy utrati interesa i holodnosti so storoni ih muzha/zheni. No govorit' chto esli muzh gulyat to etomu vinovna sama zhenshina dumayu nepravil'no.
Vot, Sienna Miller hot as potato, a Jude Law izmenyal ey s bebisitershoy.:rolleyes:
http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/4548/siennamillersexycz4.jpg
PS. No matter how unatractive, ugly, boring your partner is it does not justify the actual fact of cheating. If things are that bad, dont cheat-leave.

[PainKiller]

Coming to Grips With Infidelity


http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/female%20on%20bed%20in%20morning.jpgAgain, a lot of research has been done on the topic of human sexuality, especially infidelity.

Unfortunately, most of the evidence indicates being faithful to a single romantic partner over the course of one's lifetime is difficult to do (see, Buss, Barash and Lipton, Ridley).

And while not everyone will stray, it is estimated that 30 to 60% of husbands and wives will cheat on a spouse at least once during the course of their marriage (see, stats about infidelity (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/quizzes/public/infidelity_statistics.html)).

To understand and come to grips with infidelity, it helps to examine the following questions in detail:


How do people make decisions about their sexual behavior?
What is the role of "will power" or "self-control" when it comes to infidelity?
What motivates our sex drive?
What makes it so difficult for men and women to be faithful?
Why do people cheat, but then expect or demand their partners to be faithful?
Why are some men and women more likely to cheat than others?
What can be done to prevent infidelity?

[PainKiller]

How Do People Make the Decision To Cheat?

To start with, human sexuality is incredibly complex. Decisions about our sexual behavior are typically not planned in advance. Few people intentionally plan on committing infidelity (at least not the first time it happens).

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/hands%20wedding%20ring%20exchange.jpg When making promises to be faithful, most people are serious and have every intention of keeping their word.

But while people generally have the best intentions when making such promises, human behavior is not always governed by the fact that vows were taken and that promises were made.

When it comes to making decisions about love and betrayal, logic and reason have a difficult time competing with our emotions for control. So from time to time, our emotions influence our behavior and lead us down paths we had no intention of traveling.

In fact, three separate emotional systems are involved in cheating - sexual desire, romantic love, and attachment. And often these distinct emotional systems pull people in different directions (see, Typology of Cheating (http://lyingandcheating.blogspot.com/2007/02/typology-of-cheating.html) - Truth, Lies and Romance Blog).

The movie, Unfaithful (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unfaithful_(film)), does a great job of portraying how infidelity occurs. In this movie, Diane Lang's character plays a happy housewife, who cheats on her husband, because of a chance encounter with an attractive stranger. Her emotions, in particular, her sexual desire, gets the best of her resulting in decisions which even she finds appalling.

In short, most infidelity occurs, not because it is planned, but because people find themselves in situations where their emotions overwhelm them.

What types of situations influence our emotions and bring out the worst in our behavior?

Being close or interdependent on someone other than one’s spouse
Being around someone who is sexually interested
Spending a lot of time one-on-one with someone else
Not feeling close or connected to one’s spouse (e.g., feeling lonely, being upset or angry with a spouse, etc.)
Situations that create the sense of opportunity - the feeling that one will not get caught (e.g., meeting someone in private, out of town trips, etc.).
Situations involving alcohol or drugsWhen placed in these types of situations, one's emotions often prompt people to act in ways which are contrary to what is right. On occasion, poor decisions get made. Unfortunately, for many people, it is very difficult to always be in control of one's emotions when placed in these types of situations.

What about "will power" or "self-restraint?"

Research shows that "will power" or "self-restraint," alone, does little to change or influence our behavior.

In fact, some cultures have decided that individual "will power" and "self-restraint" can not be trusted. Some cultures have made the decision that the best way to prevent infidelity is to make sure that the situations listed above do not occur - essentially, controlling situations is the best way to control behavior.

In western cultures, however, we place greater value on individual responsibility. We do not collectively try to prevent these types of situations from occurring. Rather we allow situations to happen, but then we hold individuals accountable for their behavior and we expect people to behave appropriately.

Individuals are supposed to exercise their self-restraint and have the will power to control their emotions and their actions.

Unfortunately, for many people this does not work.

Perhaps a somewhat related example will help bring home this point.

Relying on will power or self-restraint also fails to work when dieting. The very same problem occurs - people make promises and vows they can not keep. More often than not, will power and self-restraint are not enough to control one's weight. To diet successfully, more drastic measures are often needed. Successful dieting often requires a change in lifestyle, environment, social networks, and sometimes even surgery.

Of course, there are some important differences between dieting and trying to be faithful to one's spouse. The consequences of cheating are much more severe than the consequences of failing a diet (most people admit to failing a diet, but not to cheating). In any case, people do struggle with these issues and making promises alone typically does not result in a lasting change.

Overall, infidelity, like many other human behaviors, is difficult to control. Being faithful to a spouse is more complicated than simply making promises to do so.

Being faithful to a spouse often requires avoiding situations which bring out the worst in our behavior...

[PainKiller]

Role of Sexual Desire

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/kissing%20couple.jpgPart of the reason why infidelity is so common stems directly from our sexual desire.

Our desire for sex, whether we are conscious of it or not, is one of life's most basic and fundamental needs (see, sexual desire, love and attachment (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/question/quick_answer/love_attachment_sex.html), Buss, Barash and Lipton, Ridley).

To begin with, we want to apologize for coming across as sexist. But when talking about sexual desire, some sexism is involved. There are some sex differences between men and women.

And for the most part, our sexual desire influences a lot of our behavior and we are not always aware of its influence. http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/passion4.jpg

For example, why are most women so concerned about their appearance – looking young and beautiful – even putting on make-up to enhance their beauty? In fact, it is estimated that people spend more money on trying to appear beautiful than we do on education (see, Etcoff).

And why are men so obsessed with status, respect, and success? And why are they so concerned about their height?

People care so much about these issues because they are directly linked to our sexual behavior.

Why is sex so important?

Because whether we like to acknowledge it or not, our sexual desire underlies much of what we do.

The long story, told short:


For a more detailed discussion about how evolution shaped our human nature, please see the section on evolution and human behavior (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/why_people_lie/public/evolution.html) (also see, Buss, Tooby and Cosmides, Pinker, Ridley).



Otherwise, here is an abbreviated version:



Evolution shaped human behavior – how we think, feel, and behave. And most of the time we are not aware of the motivations that influence our behavior – life kept many of the factors that influence our behavior hidden from us (we don’t really need to know why we do the things we do, just as long as we do them).

But, evolution rewards life forms that survive, reproduce and help relatives get ahead (called, inclusive fitness, see Hamilton). So evolution rewarded humans that were sexual in nature – we are all the descendants of individuals who were driven and motivated to act on their sexual impulses. Accordingly, people today are stuck with the sexual desires which drove our ancestors to reproduce (and this process went on for millions and millions of years).

And whether we like it or not (again, evolution didn’t care that we liked what we were doing, just as long as we did it), cheating is a part of our sexual desire. For millions of years, people who cheated on their mates reproduced faster than more sexually reserved individuals (cheaters won at the game of creating offspring). So now the desire to cheat is a universal part of our human nature - something we inherited a long time ago from our cheating ancestors.

This, however, does NOT mean that EVERYONE will cheat; it only means that the tendency to cheat is innate - it's part of who we are.


So, why do some people act on their desire to cheat while others remain faithful...

[Princess Z]

Koroche, vivod: Mujchini!!!!!! Ugomonites' izmenyat horoshim jenam :) Takje otnositsya i k jenshinam!!!! MI vse pod uchetom u Allaha, lichno ya boyus sovershat podobnie greshki, ya veryu, chto vse sdelannoe plohoe mnoy vsegda ko mne je i vernetsya!!!!

[PainKiller]

What Type of Person is the Most Likely to Cheat?

While the desire to cheat is a fundamental, and unconscious, part of our human nature, not everyone will be unfaithful.

Like most of our behaviors, infidelity is not intentional, but, for the most part, it is situationally driven.

When placed in the right situation (or wrong situation, in this case), our emotions can get can prompt us to act in ways which are counter to our beliefs. Please note that some of the factors listed below are drawn from Buss and Shackelford's work on infidelity (also see, stats about infidelity (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/quizzes/public/infidelity_statistics.html)).

What factors influence an individual's willingness to cheat?

Attractivenesshttp://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/female%20young.jpg


All things being equal, an individual’s attractiveness influences how likely he or she is to cheat. Attraction comes in many different forms – it is influenced by one’s physical appearance, one’s social skills, and one’s tangible resources (money). The more one is in demand, the more likely one is to cheat. People, who have higher incomes, more education, and successful careers, are more likely to cheat than people who are less successful. And physical attractiveness also plays an important role (see, face of a cheater (http://lyingandcheating.blogspot.com/2006/12/face-of-cheater.html) - Lying and Cheating Blog).


Opportunity


http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/male%20blue%20eyes.jpgAgain, all things being equal, the more individual free time people have the more likely they are to cheat. Couples who have separate social lives, friends, careers, travel plans, and so on are much more likely to cheat than couples who spend most of their time together. The more opportunity people have to cheat, the greater the odds that cheating will occur.


Risk Taking


People who like to take risks or have a sense of adventure are more likely to cheat than people who are more fearful or timid by nature. And there is most likely a genetic component involved in risk-taking behavior - some people may be predisposed to taking risks (see, understanding genetics (http://www.thetech.org/genetics/ask.php?id=134)).


Sexual Desire


Sexual desire varies from person to person. Some people have a very high sex drive while other people are much less concerned or interested in sex. And people with a high, rather than low, sex drive are more likely to cheat. Again, sexual desire appears to be influenced by genetic factors. Some people are inherently more easily aroused and driven by their desire for sex than other people (see, webMD (http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/122/114959.htm)). People who have multiple affairs are often addicted to the novelty and excitement which infidelity can provide (also see, coolidge effect (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/husband_constantly_cheats.html)).


Attitude Toward Love and Romance
Attachment and Love Styles

Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner (see, ludus (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/relational_maintenance/public/love_styles.html) and lovefraud (http://www.lovefraud.com/)). People who view love as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interests; cheating is just another way to gain control over one's spouse. Also, people with a dismissing style of attachment, are more likely to cheat (see, attachment styles (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/relational_maintenance/public/attachment_styles.html) and born to stray (http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/some-of-us-are-are-born-to-stray-research-finds/2007/10/01/1191091031251.html?s_cid=rss_national)). Relational Problems


As problems emerge in a relationship, people are more likely to cheat. Infidelity is more common in relationships where people feel misunderstood, under appreciated and where fighting and bickering is common (see, evaluate your relationship (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/surveys/view/Is_My_Relationship_Worth_Saving/index.html)).

Sense of Entitlement

Some people, due to their position in society, their beliefs about gender roles, or their cultural upbringing, believe that it is their right to cheat on their partners. In other words, some people believe that cheating is a privilege to which they are entitled. Such individuals, philanders, often engage in infidelity with little guilt or remorse. Additionally, our cheater risk assessment (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/quizzes/public/potential_for_cheating_index.html) is an interactive quiz designed to let you compare your romantic partner against our profile of people who cheat.

And the blog, Truth, Lies and Romance, provides a description of the different types of affairs (http://lyingandcheating.blogspot.com/2007/02/typology-of-cheating.html) that people typically have.

[PainKiller]

What Steps Can Be Taken to Prevent Infidelity?

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/images/stories/male%20hold%20on.jpg For starters, many of the things which influence the likelihood that a spouse will cheat are difficult to control (see, likely to cheat (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/infidelity_and_cheating/public/likely_to_cheat.html)).

For instance, it can be difficult to limit how spouses spend their time outside of the relationship – social and work commitments often require spouses to spend a lot of time apart, providing an opportunity for cheating to occur.

And it can be even more difficult to control a partner’s level of attractiveness or a partner’s willingness to take risks – again, both factors that influence how likely a spouse is to cheat.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things that you can do to make your current relationship more satisfying (see, healthy relationships (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/relational_maintenance/public/making_things_better.html)). And people who are happily married are less likely to cheat.
source:http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/infidelity_and_cheating/public/why_do_spouses_cheat.html

[Princess Z]

Nu vot Umidka, ya dumayu Pankiller tebya dostatochno osvedomila po etoy teme, teper ti znaesh pochemu i zachem ludi drug-drugu izmenyayut. Pankiller, spasibo tebe ogromnoe!!!!!! Ya s bolshim udovosl'tviem prossvetilas toje :)))

[RockerDen]

Mujchina, izmenyayuschiy jene - podobno polzovatelyu Interneta, kotoriy posle najatiya na "poisk" nashyol sovsem ne to chto nujno i muchaetsya v poiske oshibki. Vot takie mujchiny doljny sprosit' sebya v pervuyu ochered, pravil'no li oni napisali v stroke poiska? Esli da, to mojet nado bylo vklyuchit' rasshirenniy poisk?
Voobsche ne schitayu izmenu sposobom kak-to podeystvovat' na jenschinu - luchshe vsego uyti nasovsem, a ne igrat'sya s ney, kak s marionetkoy.

[Пушкарева]

Slushayu seychas russkoye radio, tak tam Roman Trahtinberg vechno shutki ploskiye otpuskaet, tak vot tolko chto odnu nehoroshuyu skazal: "chem tolshe u jeni taliya, tem dlinnee u muzha rabochiy den". :twisted:

Ne nravitsya on mne. Vsegda edkiy i chasto poshliy yumor u nego.

[fidis]

у многих узбекских женшчин после первых родов сразу меняется фигура...так что она больше не возврашчается в прежнюю форму :д

ну и к тому же мачо обшчество такое...чем-то похоже на латинос.

[Kalon Bek]

Slushayu seychas russkoye radio, tak tam Roman Trahtinberg vechno shutki ploskiye otpuskaet, tak vot tolko chto odnu nehoroshuyu skazal: "chem tolshe u jeni taliya, tem dlinnee u muzha rabochiy den". :twisted:

Ne nravitsya on mne. Vsegda edkiy i chasto poshliy yumor u nego.

Hahaha:D

Правильно сказано))))

П.С Незабудка не злыс он шутит же))

[Umidka]

Nu vot Umidka, ya dumayu Pankiller tebya dostatochno osvedomila po etoy teme, teper ti znaesh pochemu i zachem ludi drug-drugu izmenyayut. Pankiller, spasibo tebe ogromnoe!!!!!! Ya s bolshim udovosl'tviem prossvetilas toje :)))

aga tochno skazano)...vse kak to stesnyalis ...a on raz i vse skazal krasigo ..umnica!!!))

[Umidka]

Legkaya v obshenii kak perishko, strastnaya kak molodaya nalozhnica starogo sheyha, zhizneradostnaya kak rebenok v den rozhden'ya,
razvratnaya kak partovaya shluha. (Esli eto pro vas ? to mozhete nevolnovatsya nikakoy muzhchina vam ne izmenit )

[lilbit]

Legkaya v obshenii kak perishko, strastnaya kak molodaya nalozhnica starogo sheyha, zhizneradostnaya kak rebenok v den rozhden'ya,
razvratnaya kak partovaya shluha. (Esli eto pro vas ? to mozhete nevolnovatsya nikakoy muzhchina vam ne izmenit )
kakie jelaniya! bez zolotoi ribki ne opboitis'.

a eshe mojet poluchitsya naoborot: Koroleva na kuhne, hozyaika v posteli i razvratnaya v gostyah. (iz anekdota)

[Frida]

у многих узбекских женшчин после первых родов сразу меняется фигура...так что она больше не возврашчается в прежнюю форму :д

ну и к тому же мачо обшчество такое...чем-то похоже на латинос.

it is not just uzbek women. female body does change after birth giving. i wonder about the morals of the man, who is ready to cheat on his wife just because her hips got wider after giving a birth to his child....:x

also, its not only women who change. after certain age man usually get some tummy fat, love handles and balding head too. unfortunately, some man have some kind of "not mirroring mirror", so they can only see changes that are happing to their wifes, but think that they are still "yigitdek" :rolleyes:

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/jfa0846l.jpg

[wow_kabob]

uzi yilap chiqsila uzila ayib dorsila Qizla va Ayolla

[lilbit]

Vse slishkom mirno v etoi teme!

osobo chuvstvitel'nim NE smotret'

uncensored.

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