Alcohol

[Just James]

Due to increasing products liability, manufacturers have accepted
the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels
must be placed immediately on all containers.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
wanker.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-
lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell happened to your trousers.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or
name you can't remember)

- Warning Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and
cones appearing in your home.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
people are laughing with you.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-
space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

- Warning Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

[mafia]

Hi there, have all these things happened to you? Can't believe you made a great experience.
Take care