TV - a huge problem

[Bonik]

What's up a tak

Standartnoe raspisanie Uzbek TV:

18:00 - Ko'rsatuvlar mundarijasi
18:05 - Ahborot
18:30 - Achavotti mahallasining zarbdor mehnatkashlarining kundalik hayoti
19:30 - Yangiliklar
20:00 - Ahborot (AGAIN!) "Main Story - Burchmilla mahallasida 23 o'rta maktab remont qilinibdi Uraa!"
20:20 - O'zbekistonda hizmat ko'rsatgan honandalar - Bugungi ko'rsatuv honanda Saparjon Qutlijonov ijodiga bag'ishlanadi
21:00 - Yangiliklar (Main story - Qatortol tumanida shanbalik o'tkazildi)
21:30 - Serial
22:30 - Davramizga marhamat (3-4ta darmoedlarni bahsi. Topic - All the shittish things which are on our minds)
23:00 - Badiiy Film (The ONLY RAREST thing which watchable, but not often good movie)
24:30 - Ertangi ko'rsatuvlar

Mundo o'ylab qarasa, agar yahshiroq programma qila olishmasa, KINOdan ko'proq qo'yishsa maqsadga muvofiq ish bo'lar edi!

[stud]

words 'good' or 'bad' are dependant on interpratation.

If one dislikes a programm a 'good' solution is switching to another programm;

[Tank]

lol
hey that was so nice to see this schedule again. (hehe)
btw what about "30 kanal"? Is it still running? I mean it's favorite show " Clipe surprise" with "traditional qozok music! (uhahahhahaha)

peace

P.c There is a solution turn off ur TV and save electricity.

[Argentina 2002 WC Chempio]

another solution sell your tv (if you have one) and buy velosiped Kama,i kataysa kotta yolga chiqib...

Assalom Uzbekiston degan peredacha bolardi har kuni ertalab, hich qachon oshani koromaganman, voobshe vohli stavili, haliyam bormi?

[tribune3.1]

23:00 "Maftuningman" :D

[BOBOY]

JUDA TOG'RI. kim etadi 21 asr deb.

mani maslahatim AHBOROTDAN KEYIN PLAYBOY KO'RSATISH KERE

[kitaec]

Mujik domoyi prihodit (Brejnevskiye vremena) televizor vkluchaet: na pervom kanale brejnev govorit, mujik na vtoroyi perekluchaet na vtorom brejnev govorit, mujik na 3 kanal toje brejnev, mujik na chetvertyi (posledniyi) na chetvertom mayer KGB sidit i palcem grozit: ti u menya doperekluchaeshstsya!

[Mustafa]

Video bormi? A bo`lsa, qoymaysanmi?! Mana senga hamma muammodan kalit!

Maslahatim bepul - biz rozi.

[Bullet]

Eto che, Vot vam istoriya idet pramaya translaciya s'ezd KPCC ne pomnu kakoi po chety( mojet daje poslednya) i koroche moi papa smotri TV ya znachit sijy radom vashe "pacan-shkolnik"togda, I vdrug tam tipa pereriva ili kakoito ne zaplanirovani miting (tochno ne pomnu) i kto to,v verhovnom savete gavarit-" poprashu telezritelei vikluchit svai televezori na 15 minyt", Eto bil vashe p*zdec i tyt moi papa povarichivaetsa komne i gavarit a tebe spat ne pora.

[Surgeon]

Keyingi haftalik TV-programma bormi, bizning kioskada qolmapdi, hammasini studentlar talab ketishdi....

[jamshed]

Ну если смотреть наше ТВ- 3,14здец полнейший-я с этим согласен. Если инопланетяне увидели бы наше ТВ-наверно подумали бы, что у нас в Узб. самая хорошая жизнь на Земле. Надо же, по Ахбороту показывают, что "Ботинкаобод кишлогида куйлар кузиламокда, пахталар гулламокда, шоли урими муваффакиятли якунланди, а раис буво интервью беряптилар(албатта кийшик шляпа ва богичи тескари галстукда, хаво +40Сда ва албатта фон учун пахтазорнинг уртасида 3-4 та тракторнинг олдида яна: "Бизнинг кальхуз... давлатга пахта топшириш пилонини бу йил 1хх прасанга ошириб бажаради. Хирмонимиз мунча булади" Яшанг, раис буво! Шахарларда эса богча болалари Ламбадага ракс тушишмокда, мактаб укувчилари Узбекистон 80-йилларда Афгонистондаги урушда совет тарафида иштирок этганини тарих китобларидан урганишмокда, студентлар эса, сапрамат ва гинекологиянинг урнига Узбекистоннинг уз ривожланиш йулини урганишмокда, хамма дам олиш урнига субботник талаб кивотти, Узбекистонда хизмат курсатган отарчи Туйчивой Туйчихужаев турк ва араб хонандалари кушикларини узбекчага угириб, янги плагиат намуналарини намойиш этмокда! Ну действительно, ну чем не 3,14здец? А после Ахборота пошло-поехало: все каналы сплошные тили-тили-трале-вале, Серсенбай поздравляет Куанышбека и его собачонку с днем рождения. Наверно наши телевизионщики благодарны Жетисайским казахам, из-за кот-х держатся на плаву. Блин, даже Камалак сорят со своей рекламой, этот придурак с телефоном падает вниз и орет по пути "Пристегни карабин!!" или уже 3 года предупреждают полгорода, у кот-х левый Камалак, что у них вот-вот проблемы начнутся, а эти проблемы ну никак не могут начаться.
Телевизор продадим, включаем радио, а там DJ Pilgrim "кузларим кур булсин, кулокларим эшитмасин, сувга ташла мени, улдир", или "алё, алё, бу жиннихонами, алё, алё, милиция, тфу, кургани кузим йук, профессион дефуа... вообщем, мазохизм какой-то. Ну ладно, и то отключаем, а на дорогах вообще чаласаводларча ёзилган плакатлар "LG блан 10 Кореяга юлланмани ютиб олинг" А до недавнего времени наша доблестная авиакомпания давала посадочные талоны с надписью Uzbekistan Airwais,
Как горько говорится : ЗА ДЕРЖАВУ ОБИДНО"

[Tank]

woahahhahahahahaha
There u go Bek! Bek ubil na poval. 100 pirsint prav!

[Khamlo]

Da, obodno. I stidno, oy kak stidno.

[Bonik]

Umuman olganda ko'rsatuvlardan tashqari yana bitta muammo bor... u ham bo'lsa jurnalistlarimiz va honandalarimiz... Bilmadim qattan topishadi ulani. Eng asosiy yangiliklar ko'rsatuvlaridan birini (ismi esimdan chiqib qopti) OT KALLA opamiz olib boradi Nu washe loshadinoe litso deyishadi. Manimcha hozirgi diktorlar konkursini yutish sharti -- albatta bochkachadan kelganroq, basharasi humkallaroq, gapirganda nafas olishi eshitilib turish kerak bo'lgan inson bo'lishi kerak.

Honandalirimiz bo'lsa VERY FREACKIN' KOOL !!!
40 yoshlik kampir opamizning "yoshligim ketma mandan" degan ashulasi yaqinda HIT bo'ldi!!!

Bitta 45 yoshli otahonimizni bo'lsa "Bahtli voqealar bo'lsin" degan ashulasini 1 oy reklama qilishdi! (If you don't know: "bahtli voqea" - lotoreja)

Reklamalarga ham gap yuq!
50% reklama --- har turdagi lotoreja
25% reklama --- Uzbekcha TAMPAX reklamasi
10% reklama --- strahovanie
itd itp...

Aaaaaa, Almost forgot!!!
Hozir juda ko'p kichkintoylar ko'rsatuvlari chiqqan! Omadini bersin... yahshi ko'rsatuvlar bolachalaga yoqsa kere. ODNAKO !!! Diktor jajji qizlarga rahmim keladi!!!
Ularning hammasi 100 %%% gapirib turganda boshlarnini 180 gradus bo'ylab aylantirib turishadi! Rejisserlar majbur qilishsa kerak! Imagine little girl's speach while she turns her head from left to right, from right to left and so on until SHE SHUTS HER MOUTH :)

Na posledok --- Last week's Top 3 chart of Best programs :

1. "Umid nihollari" ohirgi bir hafta ichida har kuni 10 marttalab (combined 4 channels) ko'rsatildi. Ko'rsatuv sport ploshadkada yomg'ir yog'ib turganda bechara bollani sport o'yinlarini ochilish, davom etish va yopilish marosimlariga bag'ishlangan.

2. O'zbekistonda hizmat ko'rsatgan honandalar - Ketmonboy Toshbaltaevich ijodi.

3. Reklama lotorei Bahtli Voqea --- po tipu NEWS BRIEF of popular journalist. V den' pokazivaetsja kak minimum 20 raz!

Brgds,
Bonik

[up2u]

[quote]BOBOY (Apr 21, 2002 21:52):
JUDA TOG'RI. kim etadi 21 asr deb.

mani maslahatim AHBOROTDAN KEYIN PLAYBOY KO'RSATISH KERE[/quote
Keyin UzTV pornoni promote q'ivotti deysila

[Surgeon]

Toshkentda hozir DVD eki CD-disklar bormi?, prokatichi? Bolsa, shularni computerda korib, TV-sotib yuborish kerak ekan-de. Daa....

[Tank]

Ne luche tomga chikib antenani kabilini uzib tashash kerak. A k TV potcluchit DVD i vcr. I potom prinesti parnuhu i sprite i enjoy ur life.

[nancy]

Do you think we don't have any talented people in Uzbekistan? Maybe we lack creativity?

About Ahborot News-- I LIKE IT. There's news there, BUT, somebody doesn't know how to make it interesting: everything is shot from the same angle, and it gets boring after a while. We need to be enternained, we need to be interested, at least we need to have good looking hosts to look at. :)

Even though it's news, we don't realize it. Because there's no difference from the news we see today and the one we saw year ago.

But now let's look at a typical news broadcasting in the US. It starts with breaking news-found body, rape occured somewhere, and about a local catholic priest, accussed of child molestation.

Then it switches to weather several times during the broadcats. The weather is such a big deal!

And then some local news like does your bra fit you properly? And what to do during the tornado warning if you don't have a basement in your house?

Of course there's more national news +few words about Middle East conflict, and on every 11th of the months, remembearing the 9/11 event.

And of course the TV channels are filled with all kinds of shows: charmed, friends, Ed, ER, survivor, and of course Jerry Springer. :) Because there's competition for the audience! We don't have any race between the channels to get our attention. And we unfortunately don't have a music channel.

Anyway, the good thing would be getting NTV+ Service, or get at least sattelite dish (you could even enjoy Turkman TV on sattelite as I do), and wait till I graduate and come home to make changes. :) :) :)

[Freestyler]

Do you think we don't have any talented people in Uzbekistan? Maybe we lack creativity?

Of course we have many talented people. In fact I believe people are always born with a capacity for talent.
The thing is our repressive regime and censorship can hardly be considered a good encouragement for those gifts to develop and show up.

Uj ochen' kosnoye mishleniye u nashih burokratov... S nimi daleko ne uyedeysh'. Da i mentalitet nash ne terpit kreativnosti... U nas bol'she cenit'sya pokladistost' i podhalimaj...

[Tank]

About Ahborot News-- I LIKE IT. There's news there, BUT, somebody doesn't know how to make it interesting: everything is shot from the same angle, and it gets boring after a while.


hm, strange I would like to say, " There's NO news............

[weezer]

yaqinda Futbol bo'yicha Jahon Chempionati boshlanadi! Ura!
yashasin Yoshlar kanali!

[weezer]

Ha, tanqidchilarni ham qoralash notog'ri! ahir ularsiz rivojlanish bo'lmaydiku!

[GOOGAA]

tv tugrisida zur yozilgan gapla. ayniqsa Bekni (kstati tyozka< malades) gaplarini uqib mazza qilib kuldim. bez bazarov ya davno tak ne hohotal.
jiddiy gapiradigan bulsam - tv davlatti qulidade shunichun kak marionetka ahborot, davr, davr-interview, dolzarb mavzu.
da kstati, jurnalistlarni talaffuzini etmoqchiydim. ahborotda qaysi oblastdan reportaj obersa, gapirvotgan jurnalist usha joyyi shevasida gapiraveradi. mundoq bu milliy tv, 1 kanal butun respublika kuradi deb uylamiydi. keyin chet el xabarlarini bervotganda - Franciyani - FRANSA, Yaponiyani - YAPONA, USAni -AMERKA deb talaffuz qilishadi. etibor berseyla ohiri -iya bilan tugaydigan hamma mamlakatlarni nomini shunaqa qilib etishadi.
yoki bulmasa prokuraturani PRAKARATURA deb.
chet ellarni rahbarlarini otiniki gaparmay quya qolay. vaashshee talaffuz qilishni bilishmaydi.

P.S. men ataydan shunaqa almoyi-aljoyi qilib yozdim - usha tv da ishlovchi qo'nqalarga saboq bularmikan deb.

[Gareeb]

Mana shu TV sababli 26 millionlik xalq gaflatda yotibdi.Ertadan kechgacha be'maza kliplar, bema'ni kuy-qo'shiqlar..:(

[Frida]

Eshitgandim bir marta - Davrni olib borar ediku - O'zicha Vlad Listyev bo'lib? Ismini eslasangiz yozib qo'yinglar, iltimos!! O'shani qo'lida ishlaydigan qiz bizaga istitutda nutq boyligimidi esimda yo'q degan bir dars o'tardi. Shu aytib berab edi bizaga "yaxhi narsalarni, akutalniy temalarda yozib olib kelsak - na o'sha copy of Vlad Listyev na Hurshid Davron ruxsatidan o'tamiz" deb. Keyin 9/11 boshlanganda butun dunyo gapirdi hamma yoqdan. Yoshlar telekanali esa ertalabdan kechgacha Presidents Cup - tennisni ko'rsatdi. Keyin shu yosh bolla oylashibdi mana endi Vlad Lityev's imitator (oti esmida yoq - manimcha tilla degan suffixi ham bor edimi-ye) hozir zo'r qilib bir narsa deydi deyishsa - TV ga kelib davni tayyor bo'lgan narsani yani recorded stuff ni efirga beringlar debdi :( Hurshid Davron ham hech narsa demabdi. Ular hammasi bir narsadan qo'rqadi - lekin manimcha bu sohada ishlaydiganlarda - they should have guts as they change everything. What ever I said is truth - or at least what my teacher told me.

[Gareeb]

Xayrulla Nuriddinovni aytmayapsizmi?
Juda sevamanda shu tilli chuchuk bolakayni:twisted:

[Frida]

Ha, rahmat xuddi o'zi. O'zicha journalist#1 edi bir paylar, hozir bilmadim ahvol qanaqa u yerda

[WebMonster]

Hold on guys!
I do agree that our TV sucks, but there have been 23 usless posts only telling what bullsh*t it is. We know what it is like, so why not to find some solutions for that? We say that criticisim is goo and leads to developement, but it is useless until you offer some solutionos.Real solurions. Find the reasons and offer solutions...

In my oppinion the main reason is that our TV is not private. We have skilled journalist who are much better than any famouse russian or european journalists, but journalists dont have a motivation. Make a great thing and do the bullsh*t, there is no difference, you get the same amount of money or whatever. So I think that the first step to improve our media is privatization.
Any other ideas..?

[Marg'iloniy]

No idea. u know current situation of private or independent media orgs better then me.

need example: "Hurriyat", "Mustaqil Gazeta", private provencial tv channels

Hold on guys!
I do agree that our TV sucks, but there have been 23 usless posts only telling that it is bullsh*t. We know what it is like, so why not to find some solutions for that? We say that criticisim is goo and leads to developement, but it is useless until you offer some solutionos.Real solurions. Find the reasons and offer solutions...

In my oppinion the main reason is that our TV is not private. We have skilled journalist who are much better than any famouse russian or european journalists, but journalists dont have a motivation. Make a great thing and do the bullsh*t, there is no difference, you get the same amount of money or whatever. So I think that the first step to improve our media is privatization.
Any other ideas..?

[Shokirbek]

Sun'iy yo'dosh orqali birorta o'zbekcha kanalni ko'rishning qachon imkoni bo'larkin?

[WebMonster]

Sun'iy yo'dosh orqali birorta o'zbekcha kanalni ko'rishning qachon imkoni bo'larkin?
Bir davlatning o`zining sunn'iy yo`ldoshi bo`lishi juda ham qimmatga tushadi. Bu borada sunn'iy yo`ldoshi bo`lgan davlat bilan kelishsa bo`lad, lekin bu ham arzon udovolstviye emas. Hali beri buning imkoni bo`lmasa kerak.

[Shokirbek]

Bir davlatning o`zining sunn'iy yo`ldoshi bo`lishi juda ham qimmatga tushadi. Bu borada sunn'iy yo`ldoshi bo`lgan davlat bilan kelishsa bo`lad, lekin bu ham arzon udovolstviye emas. Hali beri buning imkoni bo`lmasa kerak.

Bu gapga uncha qo'shilolmayman. O'zbekistonga qaraganda kambag'alroq bo'lgan davlatlarda ham borku, hatto b'azi shaxslar sponsorlik qiladigan kanallar ham bor menimcha. O'shalar qaysi sun'iy yo'ldoshdan olgan bo'lsa, bular ham shunga o'xshagnaidan ijaraga olishsa bo'lmasmikan? Masalan, Qozog'istonni qo'yaturlayligu, Turkmaniston bilan Ozarbayjonni olaylik, ularda ham bor, tog'ri ular iqtisod jihatidan O'zbekistondan yuqoriroq bo'lishi mumkin. Biroq, Sudan va boshqa iqtisodiy nochor Afrika davlatlari ham kanallarga ega.

[Marg'iloniy]

Turkmanistonni kanallarini kurdizmi? Chiroyli masjidlar, yo'llar, favvoralar, bayroq quyilgan traktorlar, 1 ta stanokni ishlab turganini 15 minut kursatib turishi mumkin.
Bu gapga uncha qo'shilolmayman. O'zbekistonga qaraganda kambag'alroq bo'lgan davlatlarda ham borku, hatto b'azi shaxslar sponsorlik qiladigan kanallar ham bor menimcha. O'shalar qaysi sun'iy yo'ldoshdan olgan bo'lsa, bular ham shunga o'xshagnaidan ijaraga olishsa bo'lmasmikan? Masalan, Qozog'istonni qo'yaturlayligu, Turkmaniston bilan Ozarbayjonni olaylik, ularda ham bor, tog'ri ular iqtisod jihatidan O'zbekistondan yuqoriroq bo'lishi mumkin. Biroq, Sudan va boshqa iqtisodiy nochor Afrika davlatlari ham kanallarga ega.

[daejeon]

anaqa davr degan kanalda bitta odam chiqardi bir kuni yoshligidagi uynagan uyunchogi bilam chiqip allambalolar degandi shu kim edi shu peredachada nima degandi kim eslidi shuni?

[WebMonster]

Yana asosiy mavzudan chetga chiqib ketayapmiz, Bu bo`limning nomi "Uzbekistan - Problemi i Resheniye" tug`rimi? Hup, muammo bor, uni hal qilish yo`llarini qidiraylik. Kimda qanaqa fikr bor?

[Marg'iloniy]

Hayrulla Nuriddinovmi? Ja "yoqadi-da" manga shu bola.

Monster ana sizga resheniya Hurshid Davronni urniga shunaqa kadrlarni quyish kerak, ajoyib tomoshalar kursatishadi, yahshi ertaklar aytishadi, qunduz bobodan nimasi kam. ukasi bilan birga uqigansiz shekilli...

anaqa davr degan kanalda bitta odam chiqardi bir kuni yoshligidagi uynagan uyunchogi bilam chiqip allambalolar degandi shu kim edi shu peredachada nima degandi kim eslidi shuni?

[WebMonster]

Hayrulla Nuriddinovmi? Ja "yoqadi-da" manga shu bola.

Monster ana sizga resheniya Hurshid Davronni urniga shunaqa kadrlarni quyish kerak, ajoyib tomoshalar kursatishadi, yahshi ertaklar aytishadi, qunduz bobodan nimasi kam. ukasi bilan birga uqigansiz shekilli... To`rt yil jurnalistikada o`qib Hayrulla Nuriddinovning ukasi man bilan o`qiganini bilmagan ekanman. Kim ekan uni ukasi???

[Marg'iloniy]

Sorry man adashtirdim siz anavi ochki taqib chiqadigani boridiku ismini eslalmayapman, shuni ukasi bilan uqigandiz shekilli, uzr dustim. offtop qilib g'ahizga tekkanim uchun.

To`rt yil jurnalistikada o`qib Hayrulla Nuriddinovning ukasi man bilan o`qiganini bilmagan ekanman. Kim ekan uni ukasi???

[WebMonster]

Sorry man adashtirdim siz anavi ochki taqib chiqadigani boridiku ismini eslalmayapman, shuni ukasi bilan uqigandiz shekilli, uzr dustim. offtop qilib g'ahizga tekkanim uchun. It's OK ;). anu ochkilikni oti Komiljon Shamsiddinov edi. Ukasi Nodir bizadan bir yil oldin bitirgandi.