Anekdoti Dodasidan bosin bratanla ...

[Delta]

karoche, bitta nedagon logicadan test topshirvotganakan, huila ochkasti tormoz urtogi kep qopti.
Tormoz: suravoti .. qale endi tayormisan Tanken baqvotmi deb....
Nedagon: blya q8niyam chunmiman shu dasrda
Tormoz: davay blya man sanga yordam beraman, na primere
Nedagon: valyay blya ...
Tormoz: bratuh y tebya spichki est?
Nedagon: Da
Tormoz: znachit kurish...
Nedagon: Da
Tormoz: znachit ozgina oqidan tortib turasan ..
Nedagon : nu Daa
Tormoz: znachit tyolkala bilan yurib turasan ...
Nedagon: uhhh blyaa .. vse znaet suka, Daa
Tormoz: znachit stoit blya !!!

Nedagon: shunaqa dimisanmi blya tyolka myolka qilasan.... boldim chundim gap yo ...

professori oldiga kiradi ...
professor boldy : student Boltaboy ug'li obyasnite chto takoye logik
Nedagon: davayte ya vam na primere obyasnu....
professor boldy: nu horosho
Nedagon: y vas spichki est?

professor : Net.
Nedagon : znachit ne stoit.

mashnaqa uzimizani uzbecha anekdotladan bosin bola :)


(just kidding) :D

[Max[hungry]]

SHELL. that was cool :) now hear this one, maybe u'll like it:)

Bitta galimi zek turmadan chiqipti i pul yo srazu banni ograbit qipti. Hammani zalojnik qilip mentlaga davay nahuy agar yarim soatdan keyin vertolet bilan $1000000 opkemasalarin har 5 minutda bitta odamni oldiraman debti. Yarim soat otibdi, ni figa, vertolet yo. E jallap bula mani harip dip uylavotti shakilli debtiyu bitta qizni chaqirib:" Ey kel man butga, hoz mani sani otaman, agar otmasam sallani mana bu itla hech nima opkep bermidi, davan nahuy, otaman sani. Ha aytmoqchi, kel sani ismingni bilip oli baribir hoz olasanu" debdi. Shunda bechora qiz qorqib qorqib "Gulchehra" dibdi. Haligi ZEK. mlya mani rahmatli olib ketgan onamni ismi ham Gulchehra idi, san manga uni eslatib yubordin mayli sani otmiman debdi. U qizzi quyvorib boshqa bitta haripga ohshagan bolani chaqiripti. Ho, tuhum, kel man butga, jalla, man sani otaman nahuy, bomasam manga ula vertolet bermidi shakill dibdi. Haligi bolaga qarab, kel bratshka sani ham otini bilip oli baribir olasan, ismin nima deb sorabdi. Haligi bola bechora qorqib qorqib nima dermush: "Oka,....mani..ismim...Abdulla....lekin yoshligimda mani erkalatip Gulchehra deyishardi" :)

that's the end of the story:)

take care all and have a luck!

[Delta]

LOL, Gulchetay demaptide :)

[Bizarre]

LOL man:)

[Red_DeviL]

A Tak Malades, Bo'ladi :idea:

[Max[hungry]]

Karoche eshe odin:))

Odin chuvak sidit v tualete i ne mojet obosratsa....tushitsa tushitsa...takoy krasniy...naaaa....blyaaa.. tak tushitsa.....i raz jena ego svet vyklyuchaet...a on nachal orat: "aaaaaaaaaa lyudi pomogitee....aaaaaa....". Jena opyat svet vklyuchaet i sprashivaet, che sluchilos? ya po oshibke svet vyklyuchila...A chuvak govorit: "aaaaa...ya dumal chto u menya glaza lopnuli"

[Red_DeviL]

LoL. heh

[Kolobok]

85 yoshar chol,yirtiq choponda(bedniy) yul buida moshina tuhtatib tursa,bitta 600 mers(tanirovanniy) tuhtabdi i raz otahon moshinaga utirib ketibdi,daje suramabdi kancha buladi....A za rulem noviy Uzbek
Manzilga etib kelishganda,chol chunchegini ichidan bitta yirtiq rumolchani chikarib ichidan tangalarni tuplab turgan payt(za proezd hotel zaplotit'),Yosh yigit (shofer) raz otahonga qarab:
- Eee Otahon hafa kivossizu! Man sizga soqqa beraman za proezd keremas koroche...
I raz mujik chunchegidan 100$ chikarib otahonno chunchegiga solib:
-Otahon!!! Bitta pizdec Duo kilib kuin!
desa,Otahon kulini duoga ochib:
-Bolam!!! Pulin DOHUYA bulursin!
P.S Otahon 21 veka ;)

[blablabla]

hm...

[Mirzabek]

Bir kuni otohon zaporda ketovtgan edi.Bir payt zapor ishlo olmay kolibti, yolni ortasida tohtab tursa yoniga bitta BMW da yosh bollar tohtab otohon nima boldi deb sorashibti.

Otohon: Ogillarim moshinam buzulib koldi endi nima kilaman deb oylab otiribman
Bollar: Otohon biz sigza remont kilo olmaymiz lekin sizni en yakin zapravkaga buksir kilib tashlab koyayli mayli mi?
Otohon: mayli bollarim lekin tezyurmanglar mayli mi?
Bolar: mayli otohon biz tez yursak siz bizalarga farez bilan migat kilib koying biz sekinlashamiz.

Yolda ketishvossa BMW ni yonidan bitta Nexia 150 bosib otib ketar ekan.Bolllar ni huya sebe kakoyta Nexia deb rossa bosishibti.Yolda osha vaqt bitta ment turgan ekan postta.Gazeta okib tursa yonidan Nexia minda otib orkasidan BMW otar ekan haligi bechora palkasini esdan chikarib gazeta bilan hamat kilibti,no afsuz uje otibketishgan.Darrov ratsiyani olib boshka postga habar beribti.
Hoz yonimda Nexia minda otib ketti orkasidan BMW u yam huynya BMW ni orkasidan Zapor yol ber deb migat kilib ketvotti... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :P :P :P :P

[Kolobok]

Urok!
Mar' Ivanovna sprashivaet:
- Nuka deti skajitekas',kakie den'gi bivayut?
Raz,Mashen'ka ruku podnyala
Mar' Ivanovna: nu davay Mashen'ka,govori
Mashen'ka: Bumajnie!
Pravil'no Mashen'ka,sadis' 5! govorit Mar' Ivanovna
Kto eshe?sprashivaet Mar' Ivanovna
Petya ruku podnyal i govorit,zolotie moneti
Mar' Ivanovna: Umnica Petya sadis' 5!
I tak dalee,sprosila pochti u vseh i kak vsegda Vovochka na posledney parte sidit player slushaet.Mar' Ivanovna k nemu podhodit i sprashivaet
- Vova,a ti chto dumaesh?kakie eshe den'gi bivayut
Vovochka s nedovol'noy rojey snimaet naushniki i govorit:
-Derevyannie!
Mar'Ivanovna,raz nevpontatke net govorit,takih nebivaet,ti Vovochka chto-to mudrish
Net Mar' Ivanovna!Bivaet govorit Vovochka
Vot vchera mne sestra skazala,chto eyo boss ey za dve palki novuyu shubu kupil! ;)

[noodles]

Karoche odin gruzin na priyom doktora prihodit i govorit chto u nego jivot bolit i srochno hochet chtob ego osmotreli...doktor osmotrel, vse oki, no kak raz bil 1-aprelya i reshil doktor poprikalovatsa nad gruzinom i govorit gruzinu chto on beremenniy! Gruzin vashe zavis:...eeey doktor vi che vashe chto li...nu kak..et je nevozmojno....vi dumaete che vi govorite...
A dokotor govorit, nu esli ne verite mojete podnyatsa na 2-etaj i pogovorit s glavrachom. Raz gruzin podnyalsa k glavrachu, a v etoe vremya tot doktor pozvonil glavrachu i govorit: "hehe, davay popriklanyomsa nad mujikom, sedne je 1-aprelya:))". Glavvrach soglasilsa....gruzin podhodit k glavrachu i govoroit: "DOktor vasha kollega govorit chto ya beremenniy, nu che za gadost, vasha kollega gonit, mojete vi some osmotert menya?" A glavrach govorit: "konechno, davayte....hmmm....nu che u nas....zdes....aaa vot...u vas dvoynyashki!!!" A gruzin vashe ohrenel, chego???!!!Nastr srazu snizilsa...i domoy ushel...okolo doma iz balkona drug ego zavet:"Ooo Katzio, davay igrat." A gruzin:" Mlya, okazca uje doigralis...."

[Bizarre]

LoL:)
vashe qichu lokin.....

yana bitta....
raz bir kuni 2 yosh turmush qurmoqchi bulishiptide, oldin domlani oldiga borilude kuf-suf qivorsin dip, domla huzuriga borishipti..... domlayam kellain bolalarim dip, duolani o'qip:
domla: hoooopppp teshaboy o'g'li boltaboy, karomat qizi salomatni tan mahramlikka olishka rozimisiz?
boltaboy: si**im.
domla: LoL hoooooop, karomat qizi salomat, teshaboy o'g'li boltaboyga tan mahram bulishka rozimisiz?
salomat: manga pu*oy.
domla: bupti hy* snim, bahtli bulila........
:)

[Guest]

bir odam poytedga 1 kunlik yolga chiqibdi.
hamrohim ozidan sal katta doktor kishi ekan.
birga suhbatlashib ketishibdi. yahsi otibdi suhbatlari.
keyin uhlidigan vaqt kelganda bu kishi doktorga :
" okam bir uzrim bor . uhlaganda hurrak otaman.
bezovta qilaman. shuning uchun hurrak otganimda hushtak chalib yuborsez boshqa tarafga ogirilib olaman, hurrak ham ketadi. " debdi.
....
ertalab tushadigan joyiga 30 min qolganda uygonibdi , juda yahhsi uhlabdi. keyin qarasa doktor aka yoq. u yoq bu yoqqa qarabdi. tashqariga chiqibdi. provodnikdan sorabdi:
" bir hamrohim bor edi qani u?"
provodnik:
"e uka kechasi bilan hushtak chalib yolovchilarni uhlatmagani uchun
poyezdan tushurib yubordi"
....

[elDoraDo]

pizdes.... hehe rahmat

[elDoraDo]

"]Karoche eshe odin:))

Odin chuvak sidit v tualete i ne mojet obosratsa....tushitsa tushitsa...takoy krasniy...naaaa....blyaaa.. tak tushitsa.....i raz jena ego svet vyklyuchaet...a on nachal orat: "aaaaaaaaaa lyudi pomogitee....aaaaaa....". Jena opyat svet vklyuchaet i sprashivaet, che sluchilos? ya po oshibke svet vyklyuchila...A chuvak govorit: "aaaaa...ya dumal chto u menya glaza lopnuli"

mashunga rahmat demoqchi edim....

[NoLiMiT]

uhu uhu uhu boshladim :)

Birkuni Ergashvoy aka Qizilga o'tip ketgan ekan uni MENT ushavopti
MENT: hh Ergash aka nima bo'ldi? dipti
Ergash aka: E o'glim uzr ko'rmi qomman kechira qol.
MENT: Iya nima divoss BRO yozaman dip yozvoriptide. (JALAP)
Ergash aka: Huy snim shu mentti amini chiqarmasammi dip
Uka ke kel spor o'yniulu
MENT: Nima?
Ergash aka:100$ berasanmi man ho CHAP ko'zimmi tishlab beraman
MENT: Dumat qiptide tushunmi davay mana 100$ ko'nga qo'yipti :)
Ergash akani CHAP ko'zi shisha ko'z ekan shundo olip 1ta tishlap joyiga qo'p qo'yipti.
MENT Ginat qip qopti 100$ beripti
Ergash aka: ishonasani endi O"NG ko'zimmi tishliman dipti 200$dan
MENT: Bu jalap ko'r bo'sa moshina haydamasdi Dip mana nafik 200$ dipti
Ergash aka jag'ini shundo olip O"NG ko'zini tishlap Jag'ini sop qo'yipti
MENT voshee ofiget qip qopti. olin 200$ ni bripti
Ergash aka:Endi ustinda bir paqr suv quyaman ho'l bo'misan dipti 300$
MENT: Ergash aka jaaa oborasde hay snim davayte
Ergash aka 1 paqr loyqa suvvi mentti ustiga sepporipti MENTni dabdalasi chiqip hammayog'i ho'l, loy bo'pti
MENT: Ergash aka o'hshamdiyuu disa
Ergash aka:hmmmmm ma 300$ni ol dipti

[WHATEVER]

uhu uhu uhu boshladim :)

Birkuni Ergashvoy aka Qizilga o'tip ketgan ekan uni MENT ushavopti
MENT: hh Ergash aka nima bo'ldi? dipti
Ergash aka: E o'glim uzr ko'rmi qomman kechira qol.
MENT: Iya nima divoss BRO yozaman dip yozvoriptide. (JALAP)
Ergash aka: Huy snim shu mentti amini chiqarmasammi dip
Uka ke kel spor o'yniulu
MENT: Nima?
Ergash aka:100$ berasanmi man ho CHAP ko'zimmi tishlab beraman
MENT: Dumat qiptide tushunmi davay mana 100$ ko'nga qo'yipti :)
Ergash akani CHAP ko'zi shisha ko'z ekan shundo olip 1ta tishlap joyiga qo'p qo'yipti.
MENT Ginat qip qopti 100$ beripti
Ergash aka: ishonasani endi O"NG ko'zimmi tishliman dipti 200$dan
MENT: Bu jalap ko'r bo'sa moshina haydamasdi Dip mana nafik 200$ dipti
Ergash aka jag'ini shundo olip O"NG ko'zini tishlap Jag'ini sop qo'yipti
MENT voshee ofiget qip qopti. olin 200$ ni bripti
Ergash aka:Endi ustinda bir paqr suv quyaman ho'l bo'misan dipti 300$
MENT: Ergash aka jaaa oborasde hay snim davayte
Ergash aka 1 paqr loyqa suvvi mentti ustiga sepporipti MENTni dabdalasi chiqip hammayog'i ho'l, loy bo'pti
MENT: Ergash aka o'hshamdiyuu disa
Ergash aka:hmmmmm ma 300$ni ol dipti

[Max[hungry]]

- Тужьтесь, больная, тужьтесь!
- Послушайте, доктор - а вы уверены, что аппендицит так выйдет?





have a luck guys:))

[Bizarre]

SPID (AIDS) kasalligini tekshiradigan joydan bitta yigit chiqip kevotkammush.... ureeee, sifilsakan ureeeeeeee, yessssssss!!!
LoL

[NoLiMiT]

TV-TEST

Savol

Zaparo'zetsni nima uchun oldi faralari katta katta?

A) Yo'lni yahshi ko'rishi uchun.

B) Ovgo'nda yahshilab migat qilish uchun.

C) Mato'rini ko'tiga tiqib qo'yishganligi uchun.

D) To'g'ri javob keltirilmagan

ting ning nig ting ning dis dis nu na naaaaaa niiii tungg

Javob: zaparo'jetsni mato'rini ko'tiga tiqib qo'yishgani uchun ko'zlari katta ochilib ketgan.

C) Mato'rini ko'tiga tiqib qo'yishganligi uchun.

[norton - Dt]

hehe - o'zi bir birilani ko'rganmisila ... (hihi bekinvoldim..... uahahahaha)

a tak chi - anu so'raganing borku - quyoshmi u yoki sehr deb - o'shanga javob - sani qiynagan - DARD bo'ladi - muhabbat dardi

yengi prikol : man yana luvrda bo'ldim - mona lizani ko'rdim - huddi o'zimizani Kimyo o'qituvchimiz karomat opaga o'hshar ekan....

norton

hehe - o'zi bir birilani ko'rganmisila ... (hihi bekinvoldim..... uahahahaha)

a tak chi - anu so'raganing borku - quyoshmi u yoki sehr deb - o'shanga javob - sani qiynagan - DARD bo'ladi - muhabbat dardi

yengi prikol : man yana luvrda bo'ldim - mona lizani ko'rdim - huddi o'zimizani Kimyo o'qituvchimiz karomat opaga o'hshar ekan....

norton

hehe uzr - bo'p turadi - bittada ikkitaga post qivotudim - adashib - ne to manzilga ketib qopti - a tak etmoqchi bo'lganim

rahmat - borgan sari favorite topic ka aylandi....

norton - Dt

[noodles]

kop ichvoribsan:))

[Red_DeviL]

Karoche Bitta Kambag'al O'rmondan Ketvotgan Ekan, Nu Karoche Orqasidan Bitasi:
To'hta Kiymni Ech Dipti.
Anu Kambag'al Esa Dipti: man Kambag'alman, Kiymim Ertilib Yotipti San U Kiyimni Nima Qilasan.
I Shunda Anu Odam: Ech Dedim, Mani Otim Robin Gud Man Boylardan Narsa O'g'irlab Kambagallarga Tarqataman, Mambu Kyimni Kiyib Ol(Karoche Bitta Qimmat Kiyim Beriptide). Man Bugun Rekord Urdim, 10 ta Boyni Oldirib Boyligini O'g'iladim
Anu Kambag'al: Rahmat Rahmat Baraka Top. Iya Kiyimda Ertig' Joylari Bor Ekannu, Mayli Hechqisi Yo' Uyda Yamab Olaman. I Kambag'al Endi Surmoqchi Bo'ganida, 10 Metr Yurganidan Kegin Anu Robin Gud To'hta Boyvucha Endi San Qimmat Kiyim Kiyib Oldinmi Deb Orqasidan Nayza Sanchipdi.
LoL :)

[Delta]

Mnogie holostyaki mechtayut imet' krasivuyu, umnuyu, zabotlivuyu zhenu. Mnogie
zhenatye mechtayut o tom zhe.

[Delta]

Zhenilsya uzbek na russkoi i uchit ee vostochnomu mentalitetu:
-Kak vecher, ty menya podzhidai, gotov' uzhin i v okno poglyadyvai.
Esli vidish', chto u menya tyubiteika na zatylke, znachit ya v horoshem
nastroenii, dobryi i vseh lyublyu, vstrechai menya togda, detei zovi,
prosi, chto hochesh'. Esli tyubiteika nabok, znachit nestroenie u menya
nestabil'noe, vsrechai menya, kormi, detyam shumet' ne veli i sama
pomalkivai. A esli vidish', na lob u menya tyubiteika nadvinuta, znachit
zloi ya i serdityi, ty nakroi na stol, a sama s det'mi na glaza
ne popadaisya.
-Horosho, lyubimyi,-govorit zhena,-ya eto zapomnyu, no i ty zapomni
koe-chto. Esli ty vidish', chto ya vstrechayu tebya, a v rukah u menya
vot eta skalka, znachit mne po figu, gde u tebya tyubiteika!!!

[ohotnik]

delta togrirogi mana bundoq boladi
yesli u menya ruki na biqine to plevat ya hotela na tvoyu tyubeteyku
wuahah

[ohotnik]

koroche manham hissammi qoshib qoye mana silarga svejiysi



A gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several
attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir," she said, "the ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms.

The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring
the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three
white buttons were identified by the letters WW, WA, and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR. Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he
pushed the WW button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men's restroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA button. Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure. The ladies room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender loving pleasure!
He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed
what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!...
He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse
was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How
did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"
''You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded
to a grin.
"That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your
penis is under your pillow."

[antisniper]

Raz koroche noviy russkiy popadet v avariyu. :( I u nego razbilis gubi.
On pridet k hirurgu i govorit:
-Doktor, u menya vabshe nichego ostalsya iz gub. :(
polalista zdelayte cho nibud zasheyte mne noviye gubi.
- K sojaleniyu u nas tolko ostalis "poloviye gubi", otvechayet doktor.
Chut zadumavshis govorit noviy russkiy- Aaa, huy snim davayte postavte shto ugodno. :?
i tak doktor postavit yemu na mesto gubi "poloviye gubi"
Cherez nedelyu noviy russkiy pribegayut k vrachu i govorit: doktor, doktor u menya voznikli bolshiye problemi. :rolleyes:
-A kakiye problemi u vas poyavilis?, sprashivayet doktor s udivleniyem. :rolleyes:
- vi znayete kajdiy raz kogda ya smotryu na zerkalo u menya huy vstayot.
A kogda smotryu v moy chlen , gubi drojat :D :D :D :D :D :D

[tofkd]

dfsdfdfdsfdsfdsf

[yutyu]

dfsdfdfdsfdsfdsf

[SEM]

bir er hotinlar haftaning "ba" bor kunlari birga yotishar ekan. Masalan
Duyshanba, Seyshanba, Chorshanba .... . Fakat Juma kuni birga
yotishmas ekan.
Bir kuni (Juma kuni ):
Eri hotinidan surabdi : " hotin bugun kunga nima "
Hotini: " Jumba" - deb javob beribdi.
==============================================

Bir bola loy uynab utirsa bir milisa kelib.
Milisa: hoy bola nima yasayapsan?
Bola: Milisa !!!
Milisa: nima koshding loyga?
Bola: Suv, turpoq, tosh va ozgina buq.
Milisani achgi chikib bir tepib loyni buzib yuboribdi.
va bir ozdan kegin kelsa, yana loy uynab utirganmish
Milisa: hoy bola nima yasayapsan?
Bola: Doktor !!!
Milisa: nima koshding loyga
Bola: Suv, tuprok, tosh
Milisa:I-eee Buq koshmadingmi?
Bola: Unda milisa bolib koladi-da